I've posted on here quite a few times over the past 2 years about my DH having an emotional affair with a work colleague in a different country for 2 years - they have never met and she is 30 yrs younger than him (DH 56, Her 25).
Since i discovered the affair I've been lied to, sworn at, told to stop talking etc He has shown no remorse, no concern for how this has affected me and my DD.
I have been trying my hardest to get him to commit to our marriage and for us to make things work - he has put no more than 5% into this and i feel as though i have been giving it 100%.
He goes from sleeping in our room to sleeping in the spare room based on nothing other than i may have asked him some questions about the affair / or called him out for not putting the effort into making things better.
He barely speaks to me other than when he needs to, so most days we have 2 - 3 mins of talking - throughout the whole day - some days there is no talking.
A month ago, i told him he is hurting me and making me sad with his behaviour and i need more from him, he told me this is as good as it will get and things may or may not change over time, when I continued talking he told me to go away, or stop talking - so i stopped talking to him, only if i needed to or replied to his question (of the day). Last week, he came home after going out to watch football with his friends, he seemed a little drunk (its was 4pm) and i asked him a question about some work we are having done to the kitchen. He wouldn't speak to me and when i pressed him for an answer he told me he feels nothing for me and i am nothing to him so can i stop talking. Since then, i have not spoken to him.
I filed for divorce a year ago while his affair was still going on, i think it has since stopped and i think he blames me for this because i used to speak to her telling her to leave him alone (they both denied they were in touch but i have recorded some of his conversations so i know they were). When I told her I would come to her country and speak to her face to face - it seemed she backed off (and she claimed she was pregnant with her own husband) and i think he holds me responsible for this.
I filed for divorce and its since dragged on by both of us, he does not want to divorce because he does not think i should be entitled to half of everything (we have been married 25yrs) and i have dragged my feet because i was hoping he would change and this was a midlife crisis and he would come to his senses!
Anyway, since he told me i was nothing and I meant nothing to him, i have felt numb and today called the solicitor to move forward with the divorce as quickly as we can.
Why do men get like this? Where has the hatred come from - did he always feel like this and just tolerated me? How do you move on when the person you have been with for 30 years belittles you, shows no remorse etc..most of the time when i speak to him he calls me stupid or tells me to f++k off - why so much hatred, is he missing his girlfriend...?
I feel he broke me, discarded me and yet he thinks we should live in the house but not as a couple.