Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He's lying isn't he?

70 replies

sladys · 03/04/2023 00:40

Long story but not really relevant as only looking for factual info and would prefer factual responses

DH been away on golfing trip all week.

Tonight before he went out his battery died on his fine so he left it in hotel to charge. My understanding is that if you're battery dies (iPhone) and you plug it into charge once there is enough battery it will turn itself back on?

He's claiming that's not the case but I'm nit buying it? Surely that only happens if you actually turn your phone off or have no signal?

He's saying his phone was unattended on charge for 6+ hours but didn't turn back on til he physically powered it on himself?

I know this way of thinking isn't normal:healthy but there is a huge back story and right now I want to check if I'm right that he's lying?

OP posts:
Frightenedbunny · 03/04/2023 08:40

@sladys how long have you known about the affair and being trying to work at it? I walked away from my first marriage despite being head over heels in love with my husband after I found out he’d cheated. I knew as a person I could forgive but not forget. I spent a month watching his back, checking his phone, watching every footstep. It just wasn’t good for my well-being. I had a difficult few months but felt the stronger person for it (especially when he was phoning, begging to give it another go.) I found love a year later and I’ve now been married 18 years and have 4 amazing children. My ex and I now have contact via social media and he hasn’t changed. He’s unable to retain relationships and hasn’t settled down whatsoever. I know now I’ve had a lucky escape and it was certainly the right thing to do.

YukoandHiro · 03/04/2023 08:40

Six hours isn't that long? Maybe he was out of the room that time?

But if there's a backstory and your gut is telling you something, listen to it.

Nailsandthesea · 03/04/2023 08:44

I’m so sorry OP. You have tried. He broke the trust and when it’s gone it’s gone. You have trust willingly but he abused that and broke it. It’s not up to you to repair. No doubt you were at home looking after your children when he was off having sex with a random. You have nothing to be ashamed of.

areyousittingontheremote · 03/04/2023 08:46

Well it could be a faulty iphone as that does happen but yes, it will usually turn itself back on.

Mine's battered, screens all cracked an d dropped from a height a few times and it still does turn itself back on.

So I'm saying not wear and tear perhaps but a faulty batch? or a glitch?

Why not get him to take it into a phone shop on return to sort that glitch out?

Abouttimemum · 03/04/2023 08:46

I think the real crux of the issue here is that if this was my DH I wouldn’t give it a second thought, but clearly you don’t trust him and there’s something else going on here which doesn’t sound like a great way to live in a relationship.

Xrays · 03/04/2023 08:48

Abouttimemum · 03/04/2023 08:46

I think the real crux of the issue here is that if this was my DH I wouldn’t give it a second thought, but clearly you don’t trust him and there’s something else going on here which doesn’t sound like a great way to live in a relationship.

This.

What is the backstory to this? Sounds like the relationship is dead.

Abouttimemum · 03/04/2023 08:49

Abouttimemum · 03/04/2023 08:46

I think the real crux of the issue here is that if this was my DH I wouldn’t give it a second thought, but clearly you don’t trust him and there’s something else going on here which doesn’t sound like a great way to live in a relationship.

I just read your updates OP apologies, I should have read page 2 before commenting. 💐

Xrays · 03/04/2023 08:50

Xrays · 03/04/2023 08:48

This.

What is the backstory to this? Sounds like the relationship is dead.

Show quote history

I also missed the second page. Sorry.

Frozen9 · 03/04/2023 09:07

OP after reading this thread I assumed iPhones automatically come on, but my phone died this morning and I’ve had it on charge and it didn’t come on.

BellePeppa · 03/04/2023 09:16

The trust is gone and that’s all on the OP’s husband. Whether it’s the phone or an extra long trip to the supermarket, the OP can no longer trust her husband and that is no way to live. The damage is done.

JustOneDD · 03/04/2023 09:27

Not to add to your confusion but my iPhone doesn’t always come back on automatically once it has enough charge. Most of the time it does but every now and then I need to turn it on.. I’m really not sure why.

ClaireEclair · 03/04/2023 09:38

Mine turns on but doesn’t connect to WiFi until I actually log into the phone and click on WiFi. It’s also possible that he had to switch it back on again. Tech issues happen all the time.

Sugargliderwombat · 03/04/2023 09:46

But don't hotel rooms sometimes power down when you leave them ? I remember staying in a hotel and couldn't charge anything unless we were in the room.

Maryandherlamb · 03/04/2023 09:46

I have a Samsung and it doesn't turn back on when charged. I have to manually press and hold the on button and it loads up again from scratch.

outwiththeoldinwiththenewish · 03/04/2023 09:54

He wasn't lying about the phone but why create that level of doubt if you're on a second chance and have previous? Doesn't seem very respectful or in keeping with someone who wants to prove to you that they are committed and will be faithful.
Good luck OP

Annoyingwurringnoise · 03/04/2023 09:56

When you plug it in it’ll turn itself on automatically. The only way you can charge it when it’s off is to turn it off manually after it’s turned itself back on.

Dibbydoos · 03/04/2023 10:06

Yes it's like you can't switch them off, lol! I have an iPhone fir work.

It's not the same with my Samsung though...

Coldspringtime · 03/04/2023 10:11

It’s not really about being switched on or not. It’s about if it’s connected to a network and messages can be delivered.

overwork · 03/04/2023 10:35

My iPhone does turn itself straight back on if I charge it straight away, but if I've left it a little while it often doesn't switch itself on and I have to manually do it. It also doesn't update WhatsApp and emails automatically having being switched off, I have to go into the app and then the messages come through. It's quite old (a 6 I think), or maybe its way out as everyone else here seems to do it automatically!

Monty27 · 06/04/2023 01:04

sladys · 03/04/2023 08:23

@RichardHeed I do know what I need to do, and have no doubt I will be doing it. Strangely, after trying (and failing) to make it work I feel more confident and calmer in my decision. I've done all I can and it hasn't worked.
Time to walk away with my head held high knowing I've done all I can for my dc

I absolutely agree and respect you for that. You deserve so much better. Love is about happy and you aren't. Keep strong too as he will try to reel you back in time after time 💪

New posts on this thread. Refresh page