What valuable lessons have you learned throughout your relationship that you feel contributes to it's success now

[TimeForMe]

I have learned:

To accept our differences

Not rely on him to make me feel happy and fulfilled, thats my responsibility

To have my own interests and take time for myself, at the same time recognising that DP needs his space too.

Any more for any more?

TO RELAX!

DONT PUSH TO HARD!

DONT SWEAT IT!

If dh was answering he'd say 'that she is the boss'.

I am not always right

He is a man, not psychic and not a miracle worker

I have learned that you need to keep working at things.

Not to sweat the small stuff

Enjoy each others company, but enjoy the silences

I have to say DH and I will have been married 13 years next month and I love him more all the time, he amazes me with his patients, capacity to love, willingness to adapt (with two baby's) and overall ability to make me smile.

As I type he is singing head sholders knees and toes with our 20 month old and our 2.11 year old in his suit and he is laughing as much as they are

He is definaly the man for me

Don't get in the way when dp is in the middle of a vacuum cleaning frenzy!

Know when to keep your mouth shut - and when to walk away from an argument.

Don't attempt any sudden moves on the TV remote.

Occasionally let him win at Scrabble (only occasionally).

Try to make time for "couple time" even if it's only a snuggle on the sofa over hot choc, at least once a week.

What a lovely post TMH

Let him win at Scrabble?

To make time for each other - Kids can take so much of your time & energy - You definitely need adult time to talk or just be together.

To respect him, treat him better than you would your best friend

Listen

Know when to walk away and give some space and when they need to talk

Have special time with each other and without each other

Trust

Don't argue over the small stuff, peace is a very precious thing.

Go out together, just the two of you, however broke/busy you are.

Sex is a treat not a chore - sometimes you need to do it to remember that.

Freedom is vital, take yours, and don't impinge on his - if you both want to do something one day, get a babysitter, dont squabble over whose turn it is to go out.

The kids will go one day, but he's your future, treasure him - a widow once whispered in my ear "don't waste a minute of being with him", and I have taken it to heart.

I've learnt to rinse stuff before it goes in the dishwasher and dh has learnt not to make a funny squeaky noise when he yawns.
(We've only been married two years - expect we have more to learn.)

Respect and communication are the two most important things in our rl.

Communication - listening as well as talking.

NO jealousy
More Trust

Less hangups on my part about not being what I think he wants / needs

Laughing when we have a row instead of sulking or being mardy

That there's no point nagging about little things like leaving shoes lying around, they won't change and it's just not important.

That sometimes if life gets in the way and we feel a little distant and jolly good shag will bring us back together.

In 16.5 years, I have learnt:

(a) never to offer to drive anywhere, ever, unless dh is too pissed to comment;

(b) to keep knives, forks and spoons separate in the cutlery container of the dishwasher [anal dh emoticon];

(c) to sleep through snoring at 900 decibels;

(d) not to correct his Italian - it's not beautiful, but it's effective, and correcting him is just rude (as is laughing - laughing is only allowed when he inadvertently mixes up the words for 'bunny rabbit' and 'bollocks');

(e) that rude comments re. excessive facial hair are likely to result in a 6-month shaving strike;

(f) that, despite neither of us being particularly blessed in the looks department, somehow our genes combine to produce stunningly gorgeous offspring;

(g) that whatever happens, the things we share are much more important than the things that divide us (see above, re. comments on driving, dishwasher-related anal-ism, excess facial hair, bad Italian and snoring), and that's why we're still happy!

Stop arguing about the small stuff - life too short - laugh it off

Make time for each other - compliment/praise/encourage/debrief

Give time and space or simply ask if you need some

Sex: the more you have it the more you want it - so make time for that as well

Give your oh "treats" that they will like, not that you would like (eg I prefer the £5 present that he's really thought about, he prefers the flashy £50 gadget. Neither of us really appreciates being given the other sort)

Never to take your partner for granted

Communication and understanding is the key to a successful relationship

To compromise

sometimes there's just shit times (particularly with babies and sleepless nights), you just have to hold fast and ride the storm. It will end!

Knowing when to let him rant and not say anything (ie knowing what's REALLY behind it)

Treat him how you would like to be treated.

LISTEN

Know how to use humour.

Remember the times he surprises and delights you as well as the times he pissed you off.

That it's perfectly OK not to be in a relationship. Being single is better than being in a bad relationship, any day.