What valuable lessons have you learned throughout your relationship that you feel contributes to it's success now

[TimeForMe]

I have learned:

To accept our differences

Not rely on him to make me feel happy and fulfilled, thats my responsibility

To have my own interests and take time for myself, at the same time recognising that DP needs his space too.

Any more for any more?

after 25 years together:

that you get better results pulling together

that a joke and a smile will get better results than any amount of ranting

that you don't have to speak your thoughts all the time- it is very easy to do damage that cannot be undone

Cory, very wise, i need to think alittle more before i speak!
Think i'm still learning this stuff after 6 years of marraige and 2 DCs, youngest 5 months so still adapting to the change!

We do not sulk.

We talk things out (granted its usually me starting the conversation)

I have learned to accept our differences to.

Oh, and I am always right...that makes it easier for both of us!

Make compromises for each other.

Don't expect him to know how you feel,you need to tell a man these things.

To ride the difficult times knowing that you'll get through it and there will be others to follow but that's life .

Make time to spend together.

Speak to him as you would like to be spoken to.I am shocked at how some people speak to their partners.Either nagging them or treating them like a child.

We've been together 24 yrs now,married for 20.

Nver to give up.

I had yrs of grief from MIL and it would have made her very happy if we'd split so I made sure we didn't.
There have been many many rough patches but now I know we're in this forever because if we(I) can survive her treatment we can survive anything.

Good idea for a thread.

To talk rather than shout, agree with ggirl.

To show appreciation as often as I can.

Basically to do as I would be done by.

Oh and to understand that the start of most relationships are marked by head rushes, tremendous excitement & incredible and frequent sex. This does not mean that a) once a relationship has been going for a while that just because these things aren't as momentous as they once were there is necessarily something wrong and b) it's no excuse for cheating or leaving.

To have a laugh together every day, even over something little
To save the rows for really important things - don't bicker over everyday things
To develop own interests and friendships as individuals as well as a couple
To realise that after 25 years anything can become boring, and that you have responsibility to not become boring!
To remember that when the kids have grown up and flown the nest it'll be just the two of you again. make sure you'll still want to spend time together.

i learned he was a tosser - i succesfully avoid him now

lifes too short to moan at dp about leaving a cup on the floor or not puttng a plate in the sink because no matter how many times i nag him, he will never remember to put it where it is supposed to go and it just causes an argument. its not worth it

We laugh so much at things.

Im so in love at the moment, I feel so loved also.

Went through a rut a couple of years ago and could quite easily have just walked out.

10 years together this year and it really feels as if it can only get better.

If I'd like him to do something to help, I have only to ask. But I do have to ask. He won't notice that it needs to be done. Asking is better than doing it myself whilst silently fuming, especially as he then won't notice that I've done it.

And another excellent rule - I am not allowed to moan at him about anything he's done/not done if I've ever done it/not done it myself.

tiredemma what a lovely post. It's good to be reminded that any relationship, however amazing it is to begin with, can fall into a rut. I'm glad you pulled yourselves out of it and are so happy

I second that tiredemma, it is a lovely post

kindness and diplomacy

To say "yes, dear" and then do what you would have done anyway.

To just ignore dh if he's being mardy rather than try and work out why which only ends up in a row because it's normally something I've done.

Never leave him with builders.......

Never leave him with plumbers.......

Never ask him to wait in for a delivery.....

Leave instructions with no more than about 4 stages...........

If I want anything doing..........ask him at bed time

To compromise and never to ask him to do more than one thing at once.

oh yes..........you dont have to succeed in every battle to win the war ..........

The less sex you have the more you irritate each other, the more you have the more you want and the more you want each other.

... the hard bit is finding the urge to have sex if you have not had it for ages and he is irritating the hell out of you

Just because his opinion differs from mine, it doesn't mean he is wrong

Okay, so his taste in clothes is not great but, if he wants to look a prat then he has a perfect right to do so!

to let go of somethings if there not worth the row
to compromise
to sleep through snoring
to make time for each other[child free time]