Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

OLD - Fed up, is this the 'norm'?

61 replies

Hatingdating · 31/03/2023 19:07

Went on a date a couple of nights ago. Seemed to go ok but he wanted to leave about 10pm as he said he had an early start the following day, fair enough. We'd been in the pub a couple of hours. Date was alright, we're in a similar line of work so lots to talk about, spoke about family too, no awkward silences. He also complimented my appearance, all good. Both early 30s.

An hour after the date, I had a message via the app from him saying it was lovely to meet me and that he'd be up for doing it again if I was.

The next morning I replied, said it was nice to meet him too and that i'd check my rota when I got back to work to see when i'm free.

Since then, i've had nothing. Yet I know he has been on the app as his location has changed.

Feel a little rejected by the lack of response and no message at all yesterday.

I've had this before, where a man says after a date he enjoyed it and would like to meet again but it never gets to that second date. Is this the norm? Why do they do this? Suggest meeting again if they don't intend too?

OP posts:
ChristmasFluff · 02/04/2023 13:48

I'm totally against double-texting, and even I think you should have done it, because 'check my rota' is a brush off otherwise.

donttellmehesalive · 02/04/2023 14:25

I think you are being really weird. Poor guy. He tells you he'd like another date and you say you'll check your rota next week when you get back to work? That absolutely sounds like a polite brush off. I tell friends I don't want to meet that I'll 'check the calendar.' He's taken the hint and cleared off. For all he knows, another message from him would be unwelcome and seen as pestering. He can't read your mind.

donttellmehesalive · 02/04/2023 14:27

You know he likes you so the double text thing doesn't really apply. Just ask if he'd like to meet up again this week before you go back to work. The worst thing that can happen is he doesn't reply. Oh no, you sent two texts in a row to a virtual stranger.

SunflowerTed · 02/04/2023 14:46

Hatingdating · 31/03/2023 20:44

I get what people are saying, but if I send another message, i'm now double texting. I guess i'd expect he might have asked about the plans i've had the last few days, as we discussed it on the date.

I just feel like he isn't showing interest. I agreed to meet again, said i'd check my rota when I got back to work. I think I expected a bit of chat would happen in between me being off and going back to work.

Sorry but you are playing games to see how keen he is. Not good

McSlowburn · 02/04/2023 16:10

Amadeaa · 31/03/2023 19:33

Ok I see about the rota….but still, I think he might read this as you not being interested. If I asked a guy for a second date and he’d reply with ‘need to check my rota’ followed by radio silence, I wouldn’t message again, I’d assume he is not interested.

This!

TheDuchessOfMN · 02/04/2023 16:21

He sent you a text an hour after the date, and you didn’t reply until the next morning, saying that you’d check your rota.

If I were him, I’d consider that a gentle brush off.

JupiterFortified · 02/04/2023 16:24

You sound like hard work OP to be honest: he’s done nothing wrong.

Joey69 · 02/04/2023 16:29

TheDuchessOfMN · 02/04/2023 16:21

He sent you a text an hour after the date, and you didn’t reply until the next morning, saying that you’d check your rota.

If I were him, I’d consider that a gentle brush off.

Yep 100% this

Macaroni46 · 02/04/2023 16:40

So if I'm right, you're on leave this week but have told him you'll meet up with him after you've checked your work rota which implies not until after you've gone back to work?
Why can't you meet up with him while you're on annual leave?
Very confusing and yes, you've given him the brush off by delaying your reply until the next morning and by what you've said.

Callmenat · 02/04/2023 17:01

Why are you so het up on double texting? Are uou fifteen or something?! Very odd.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 03/04/2023 01:30

What’s to lose here if you like him
it’s not double texting
maybe he’s insecure too

give it a go IF you like him

New posts on this thread. Refresh page