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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to cope with my relationship anxiety

66 replies

Livelifelaughter · 28/03/2023 15:27

I have a an anxious attachment style. My bf is truly being slapped by life at the moment; he is in the process of divorce (separated for 3:years) and is crippled by the costs of entirely paying for the running of two households and putting a child through university, which is reaching a crisis point. The previous amicable relationship with his ex wife is breaking down and she won't agree a financial split.Coupled with this his business has taken a plummet. He is drinking more (not excessively but definitely more) . We don't live together and he is generally independent and needs his space. He isn't one to really spill his problems out but he does tell me. I feel selfish saying this but he just seems to be so flat and lacking in interest and rather going through the motions...we now see each other twice a week and he stays over once but he seems to be seeing friends more. He sometimes forgers to call and doesn't pick up if I call him; he will say he's passed out. It's really causing me so much anxiety but I can't raise it without feeling self absorbed. I appreciate that different people handle crises in different ways, when I was going through a black spot over a bereavement I would call him lots for advice - that's not him at all. Any ideas, I feel anxious and pushed away. It's even affecting my appetite and my sleep.

OP posts:
discobrain · 29/03/2023 12:16

I'd call if a day with him if I were you. It's not going to get any better, and it's certainly not doing you any good.

Livelifelaughter · 29/03/2023 14:45

I think my issue is that I love him, I feel uplifted when we are together and we have a really lovely time. There's an emotional intimacy between us. But I am finding this relationship difficult. I find myself constantly obsessing; if he doesn't call me I literally feel sick and panicky; this wasn't so much of a problem before but in the last few weeks it has been. What I also think is a factor is that I don't want to be in a situation where I am leaving him where every aspect of his life is turning shit, but as other posters have said I could ask him if he wants a break. I find on MN that many posters will advocate a break up, but when I speak to my friends they are more "work through it, give him a bit of slack" perhaps because they have seen me very happy in this relationship and literally glowing. I admit I am in turmoil now, I would like to see how things are once his wife has agreed the financial split which regardless of what others are saying on this post, is causing a huge amount of angst. I am in my 50s and this is the first significant relationship (although I have had shorter relationships) after my divorce. I prefer being in a relationship, I know many MN will find it weak but if you read the posts on MN about infidelity, abuse etc then his behaviour really seems nothing in comparison...

OP posts:
Thisisworsethananticpated · 29/03/2023 14:57

I had this in 2022
I’m actually seeing him later as he seems to want to reconcile 🙈 (or shag , let’s see )

what I’ve realised is that I’m not an anxious crazy woman (well i am a bit !)

but he simply wasn’t really meeting my needs and that manifested in total anxiety and what you said you have had

hes basically backing away and withdrawing
of course that makes you anxious !!!
you love him
but I think you need to be very brave and discuss this like an adult

it’s not leaving him when his life is shit
its him withdrawing and that makes you sad and no one wants to be sad and anxious

Livelifelaughter · 29/03/2023 15:11

Yes thank you "thisisworsetha anticipated". I really wish I was one of those confident people in relationships who could enjoy the good bits and not get overly involved.

I think you're right, well I know you are. How about something like " I really want to be here for you and support you, I can only do that if you let me and share your vulnerabilities and tell me what you need as best you can. I care about you a great deal, and when I feel that you are withdrawing or creating distance it just makes me feel sad, I feel our relationship has intimacy and connection and I think we can support each other but I need to know that is something that you can try to do as well ". To be fair I told him earlier in the week that if he didn't call me in the evening when we haven't communicated in the day it effects my sleep and makes me worry. And he was out last night with an old friend having dinner and sent me a few messages...

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 29/03/2023 15:15

but as other posters have said I could ask him if he wants a break

If he wants a break, he needs to ask. If he wants anything at all that he's not getting, he needs to ask. It's not for you to pre-empt any issues he might have, and resolve them for him. Your job is to say what you want, and only stay in relationships where you get it. Pretty much all of it, pretty much all of the time.

Mypatioisminging · 29/03/2023 15:27

Some of these answers are bonkers. He should not have got involved with you, the man’s been split for years for gods sake.

op, is the fundamental fear he’s losing interest as he is finding time for his mates?

Dodecaheidyin · 29/03/2023 15:41

I think my issue is that I love him, I feel uplifted when we are together and we have a really lovely time. There's an emotional intimacy between us. But I am finding this relationship difficult. I find myself constantly obsessing; if he doesn't call me I literally feel sick and panicky;

Listen to your body. This is not a healthy relationship. He may well tell you he doesn't want a break but it doesn't mean to say he's not trying to push you away. People can very often say what they think the other person wants to hear just to shut them up, get what they want, have an easy life.

Please be aware that all he tells you might not be true - the stuff with the ex wife etc, any of it.

If you carry on with this relationship it will not end well for you. Please stop thinking you need to consider him and his feelings when he is putting you through what you are feeling. Nine months is nothing. Stop obsessing about him and start thinking of and respecting yourself.

Livelifelaughter · 29/03/2023 15:44

Mypatioisminging · 29/03/2023 15:27

Some of these answers are bonkers. He should not have got involved with you, the man’s been split for years for gods sake.

op, is the fundamental fear he’s losing interest as he is finding time for his mates?

Don't you think that's often the case with MN ? - lots of people saying that if you are separated you shouldn't see anyone until a divorce, even though that can take years. Agree it's bonkers.

Actually, I think it's healthy he sees friends so it's not my issue. He isn't someone who sends messages throughout the day so that's not changed. In the last couple of weeks while there has been a lot of shit such as a regulatory investigation (something similar but I dont want to divulge too much)into his own business, his ex wife telling him that she wants more than the 55 per cent she is being offered in the divorce and eye watering interest rates, he sounds sad when we speak and didn't call me one evening and he is travelling today and I called him at the airport and he said he would call me back but didn't. Saying that last Friday he took an afternoon off to meet by best friend who lives abroad and spent all of Sunday with me.

OP posts:
Frogger8395 · 29/03/2023 17:29

I would not send that message to a man, and definitely not one who is creating space. It’s very intense and emotional. Many people do not like talk of vulnerability and intimacy. It’s too much. What response really do you think you are going to get back, considering he is frequently ignoring you?

Do you see what you are doing op, he has failed to call you back like he said he would and your response is to send him gushing messages offering endless emotional support. So you’re basically offering to support him while he ignores you.

Are you aware that anxious people are likely to end up with an avoidant? His behaviour lately is avoidant. He is literally avoiding you and you are responding in a way that is going to guarantee more distance.

The anxiety you feel is your bodies attachment system being activated. It doesn’t feel safe because it isn’t. It’s your cue to remove yourself from the situation. He’s not treating you right.

Livelifelaughter · 29/03/2023 17:41

Frogger8395 · 29/03/2023 17:29

I would not send that message to a man, and definitely not one who is creating space. It’s very intense and emotional. Many people do not like talk of vulnerability and intimacy. It’s too much. What response really do you think you are going to get back, considering he is frequently ignoring you?

Do you see what you are doing op, he has failed to call you back like he said he would and your response is to send him gushing messages offering endless emotional support. So you’re basically offering to support him while he ignores you.

Are you aware that anxious people are likely to end up with an avoidant? His behaviour lately is avoidant. He is literally avoiding you and you are responding in a way that is going to guarantee more distance.

The anxiety you feel is your bodies attachment system being activated. It doesn’t feel safe because it isn’t. It’s your cue to remove yourself from the situation. He’s not treating you right.

Thank you for your advice. My whole style is gushing, literally I cannot give a gift without a big bow on it!
Ok, he did call me back, he was stepping onto the plane before. I am aware that avoidant and anxious people seem to find each other. He actually said the same has happened in the past with him.
Just for the avoidance of doubt, I don't message other than to make arrangements or ask questions; I just am more of a talker rather than a messager - but I assume that your point still stands.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 29/03/2023 17:46

I don't message other than to make arrangements or ask questions; I just am more of a talker rather than a messager - but I assume that your point still stands

It's about how you feel, not how you message.

Livelifelaughter · 29/03/2023 17:48

Frogger8695 - just wondering if you had any articles or podcasts that you think might be helpful to me?

OP posts:
OriGanOver · 29/03/2023 18:25

It's really not bonkers to not want to be with someone who isn't divorced 😂. There are so many men in the world, why tie yourself up in knots being with someone who is going through that and feeling like how you feel now OP? Why an earth would you put yourself in that position! I don't get it! Men are not a scarcity. There are millions of them single/divorced already. Plus I do judge their character, they're still legally in a relationship.

Livelifelaughter · 29/03/2023 18:30

OriGanOver · 29/03/2023 18:25

It's really not bonkers to not want to be with someone who isn't divorced 😂. There are so many men in the world, why tie yourself up in knots being with someone who is going through that and feeling like how you feel now OP? Why an earth would you put yourself in that position! I don't get it! Men are not a scarcity. There are millions of them single/divorced already. Plus I do judge their character, they're still legally in a relationship.

It can literally take over a year to get a divorce and if you were caught between the old and new systems and opt for 2 years separation then you're looking at 3 years.
Have a look at the posts for OLD it's really not as easy as you might think.
I really wouldn't judge someone who is separated for a few years and wants to meet someone - I dated while I was a year and a half separated and it took a further 9 months for the divorce to go through and mine was fairly simple with no disagreement re assets...

OP posts:
OriGanOver · 29/03/2023 18:39

I don't view it that way.

When I got divorced I didn't date. I wouldn't have wanted someone to feel like how you feel now OP because I'm not selfish. Because I think relationships should have strong foundations because it's really unfair imo to put someone in your position. I think it's selfish and as selfish as having rebounds. Not fair to the other person. That's my values, it's not yours but look at the position you are in because of that.

My divorce took over a year. I was happy to concentrate on building a fab life for myself so I'd never be in a position where a man makes me feel like you do OP and I'd be clinging on to an idea of a man thinking he was my happiness - when he's not. If he was you wouldn't be posting on MN.

Livelifelaughter · 29/03/2023 18:41

OriGanOver · 29/03/2023 18:39

I don't view it that way.

When I got divorced I didn't date. I wouldn't have wanted someone to feel like how you feel now OP because I'm not selfish. Because I think relationships should have strong foundations because it's really unfair imo to put someone in your position. I think it's selfish and as selfish as having rebounds. Not fair to the other person. That's my values, it's not yours but look at the position you are in because of that.

My divorce took over a year. I was happy to concentrate on building a fab life for myself so I'd never be in a position where a man makes me feel like you do OP and I'd be clinging on to an idea of a man thinking he was my happiness - when he's not. If he was you wouldn't be posting on MN.

Of course it's all my fault for having rubbish morals and I get all that I deserve.

OP posts:
OriGanOver · 29/03/2023 18:47

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Livelifelaughter · 29/03/2023 19:37

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Thanks lovely.

So everyone who has dated while they are going through a divorce while separated is just asking for it.

OP posts:
OriGanOver · 29/03/2023 20:25

This reply has been deleted

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Frogger8395 · 29/03/2023 20:27

Thank you for your advice. My whole style is gushing, literally I cannot give a gift without a big bow on it!
Ok, he did call me back, he was stepping onto the plane before. I am aware that avoidant and anxious people seem to find each other. He actually said the same has happened in the past with him.
Just for the avoidance of doubt, I don't message other than to make arrangements or ask questions; I just am more of a talker rather than a messager - but I assume that your point still stands.

It is not the words themselves op, it’s the vibe behind them. It’s the desperation, the clinginess, the self abandonment and the obsessing. The fear. I’m not saying you actually act this out. You don’t need to. It will be there in your body language and expressions and words. And please don’t think I’m criticising you, I also have anxious attachment and it has caused me a lifetime of problems.

It’s not your fault. It’s your nervous system. The first thing to do is to stop self abandoning. We fear abandonment because we self abandon. Then when we are actually abandoned we are truly alone, we have no one, not even ourselves because we betrayed and abandoned ourselves. Secure people still have their own selves and can self sooth.

The second thing is to take your energy off him and put it on yourself. Stop giving him all your love and support and start giving it to yourself. Do lovely things for yourself. Treat yourself how you treat him. Hug yourself. Say lovely kind things to yourself. Try to meet some of your need for love yourself.

It’s my view that anxious attachment is just lack of self love, which is why we try so hard to get it off other people.

Livelifelaughter · 30/03/2023 01:33

Frogger8395 · 29/03/2023 20:27

Thank you for your advice. My whole style is gushing, literally I cannot give a gift without a big bow on it!
Ok, he did call me back, he was stepping onto the plane before. I am aware that avoidant and anxious people seem to find each other. He actually said the same has happened in the past with him.
Just for the avoidance of doubt, I don't message other than to make arrangements or ask questions; I just am more of a talker rather than a messager - but I assume that your point still stands.

It is not the words themselves op, it’s the vibe behind them. It’s the desperation, the clinginess, the self abandonment and the obsessing. The fear. I’m not saying you actually act this out. You don’t need to. It will be there in your body language and expressions and words. And please don’t think I’m criticising you, I also have anxious attachment and it has caused me a lifetime of problems.

It’s not your fault. It’s your nervous system. The first thing to do is to stop self abandoning. We fear abandonment because we self abandon. Then when we are actually abandoned we are truly alone, we have no one, not even ourselves because we betrayed and abandoned ourselves. Secure people still have their own selves and can self sooth.

The second thing is to take your energy off him and put it on yourself. Stop giving him all your love and support and start giving it to yourself. Do lovely things for yourself. Treat yourself how you treat him. Hug yourself. Say lovely kind things to yourself. Try to meet some of your need for love yourself.

It’s my view that anxious attachment is just lack of self love, which is why we try so hard to get it off other people.

Thank you Frogger, I really appreciate this and while try to follow your advice. Maybe journaling will help me.

OP posts:
Livelifelaughter · 30/03/2023 07:00

Update
We talked last night. He was in a terrible state, his life was crashing down; I won't go into details but it would be more than anyone could cope with, money, losing a business. We decided to end it. I have had many breakups but this honestly felt the worse. I feel physically sick. He cannot give the relationship what it needs. I love him.

OP posts:
Mypatioisminging · 30/03/2023 07:28

I’m sorry op; just take some time for yourself 💐

Thisisworsethananticpated · 30/03/2023 07:32

Livelifelaughter

im Sorry 😞
If that is his decision so be it

post divorce dating and mental health in men seems to have caused a storm here

wallow in the pain a bit
you WILL get through this but right now it’s hurting xxxx

MrsRickAstley · 30/03/2023 07:34

9 months ?!

It's supposed to be care free and fun. You want the good stuff only to start.

He shouldn't have started a relationship with so much going on. You need to acknowledge that you're in different places and now is not the right time for a relationship.