Why!

[QueenConsort]

Why would a man pretend to care for you and have feelings when they don't?

Why do they like the ego boost?

I just don't understand it, my feelings are real.

It's this kind of thing that makes me trust noone.

Men will stay with women they feel nothing for, for years if they're getting what they want.

You'll be ok in time. Crying is good.

Im going through similar, its shit xx

What is it that a happy relationship with him would offer you? What is it that you need from him, that, when he doesn't give it to you, makes you hurt so much? What is it that he gives you that you find it so hard to live without?

Try to be specific. This isn't about him and what he does, it's about you, and what emotions get triggered by him.

@Watchkeys this…

What is it that a happy relationship with him would offer you? What is it that you need from him, that, when he doesn't give it to you, makes you hurt so much? What is it that he gives you that you find it so hard to live without?

Try to be specific. This isn't about him and what he does, it's about you, and what emotions get triggered by him.

a hugely helpful piece of advice and has made me rethink how I have been about my last failed relationship.
i liked the comfortable feeling, the ease as had known him yrs..BUT aside from that what have I missed..just feeling like I got him wrong ..that’s disappointing and worries me for future ones

Hmmm... because they say what you want to hear - whilst lying about it!

The ones that do it for attention rather than sex are the worst of the worst imo. They'll really try to get you to fall in love with them because it's all about their ego. Utter scum.

Sorry you've gone through this op. But at least you'll hopefully be wise to the next chancer who tries the same act.

Thanks for replies, I'll have more time later to answer.

Yes bonbon it's not about sex, which in a way makes it all the worse.

Pretending that he cares about me, saying he does then his actions go completely against that narrative.

Because they're selfish, really don't believe the bs however much you want to, you know it's not true, get mad and enjoy turning him away!

It's so hard op
The last one put sooooo much time into it too
4.5 months of constant contact , hours and hours each day, for what ? I just don't get it . I could not be bothered to put that much effort into talking to someone I didn't like . It wouldn't boost my ego.

Now he doesn't speak to me

Cast me off like shit telling me he wasn't ready for a relationship . But was in one within weeks

Luckily he's kept out of my way since and I've only seen him once but I know I have to see him this week .

So many reasons.
It's easier.
It keeps their options open, we might be of use to them.
Boosts their ego to have women want them.
To these type of men women are just a game.
Some people are really fickle.

It's awful and yes it hurts when we inevitably fall for them.

Oh goodness QQ, same except he's done this to me for years! I don't understand it, it wouldn't boost my ego chatting with a guy I wasn't interested in so not sure why he does with me. He keeps me on the hook, he knows I'm in deep.

What is wrong with these people

Sorry he’s doing this to you OP.
Sounds like a Narc and he’s hoovering.

You went NC before you can do it again. It won’t take as long this time to feel stable again.

Block in every way possible. Grey Rock if accidentally see them around.

Make as many plans as you can to go out and see friends. They’ll help you put it in perspective. X

Almost exactly the same thing happened to me recently. Months of love bombing and pushing for sex. Spoiler alert: when I finally agreed to go to bed with him, he vanished immediately afterwards, never to be heard of again. Why do they do it????? Some men are so utterly vile. It would be so much easier if they said at the outset that they are just looking for a ONS, but then I suppose we would tell them to fuck off and they know that.
My heart goes out to you OP and all the other posters who have had similar experiences. Sending you all love and hugs 💕

Oh well thats fine then, he sounds awful. I should have known with my one. Had dated him before a few years ago, they don't change!

Because they are using you. Their life is better with you in there and they would want you go unless they don't need you any more.

Selfish and cruel.

Run for the hills once you spot it. Look after yourself Op