Do i tell his wife he's cheated for 9 years

youmustbemad · 27/03/2023 17:12

You are going to get crucified for this. Having an attack of conscience 9 years in only after he fails to leave his wife for you sounds vindictive rather than genuine concern about the wife.

Asterales · 27/03/2023 17:22

Hahaha! So you've been fine with his cheating for 9 years, but now you're not getting your own way, suddenly his wife deserves to know?? Come off it. Just cut ties with him and move on.

jenny38 · 27/03/2023 17:24

I think you have posted this to get permission to do exactly that. You took a gamble, left your partner, only to find this married man didn't feel the same. Next time go for someone unattached, much higher probability you will find a decent relationship.

Axahooxa · 27/03/2023 17:24

No.

you walk away.

Pseudonamed · 27/03/2023 17:25

Honestly I would tell her. What he has done to her is vile. You are no better for knowing of course but you are not her husband.

LadyEloise1 · 27/03/2023 17:25

I would want to know.

Summer2424 · 27/03/2023 17:26

Hi @Whyme1983 i think don't tell his wife. Cut him off and find someone with no baggage x

SmallAngryPenguinWoman · 27/03/2023 17:26

Hard hat time OP 👷‍♀️

My advice is to walk away, and work on your own self worth before starting a new relationship (with someone who is unattached).

KalvinPhillipsBoots · 27/03/2023 17:26

Not your job to tell her, you are complicit in it.

GreyTS · 27/03/2023 17:27

Nah, I'm sure she has had her suspicions, he's chosen her (not sure that's the win anyone would want tbh) but scoop up what's left of your dignity and get over the bitterness, from a personal perspective you'll gain nothing from dragging her into it

CalloohCallayFrabjousDay · 27/03/2023 17:27

You can't be that malicious to tell her, but fucking her husband is fine? Okay then.

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/03/2023 17:27

Whyme1983 · 27/03/2023 17:06

I left my husband for someone that then didn't end up doing the same. We was each other's first love and we keep crossing paths every couple of years and things always end up where they started but the timing is always wrong for either one of us. After 9 years i feel his wife deserves to know but I can't be that malicious.

Don't be such a twat. You reap what you sow. You do indeed sound malicious.

Justforlaffs · 27/03/2023 17:29

So are you still seeing him?

Personally if I were the wife I would want to know. If you are still seeing him - you really need to find some self esteem and stop running round after someone who will never be available to you. He would’ve left his wife by now if he was going to.

Once she finds out (and hopefully kicks him out) he will probably want you - he’ll need someone else to cook his dinner and iron his underpants.

Upsidedownagain · 27/03/2023 17:30

Why should you? You have been behaving as unethically as he has. You're not on the moral high ground and she would probably hate you more than him as a result. Leave him and let him decide if he has a conscience.

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 27/03/2023 17:30

What gives you the right to destroy her world? Is it sour grapes because you didn’t win? Did the ‘pick me’ dance not work?

rockingbird · 27/03/2023 17:31

Fuck me .. 9 years on now he doesn't want you, your thinking it's time to tell the wife. I believe in karma and you my dear will get yours ten fold and deserve every ounce! This is the sort of female that wrecks marriages and has no morals..not to mention what you've done to your own partner / family. Be thankful I'm not that wife!

IWineAndDontDine · 27/03/2023 17:38

rockingbird · 27/03/2023 17:31

Fuck me .. 9 years on now he doesn't want you, your thinking it's time to tell the wife. I believe in karma and you my dear will get yours ten fold and deserve every ounce! This is the sort of female that wrecks marriages and has no morals..not to mention what you've done to your own partner / family. Be thankful I'm not that wife!

She's definitely done wrong, but she didn't wreck his marriage. She's not a seductive mistress tempting a poor vulnerable man. He could not think with his dick, you know, like a grown up. He wrecked his own marriage.

KatherineJaneway · 27/03/2023 17:41

After 9 years i feel his wife deserves to know but I can't be that malicious.

After 9 years it cannot be that you want to tell her for her wellbeing but more likely to punish him for not leaving his wife for you. So you'd be telling her for your benefit, not hers.

You've been having it off with her husband for 9 years behind her back, I'd say that is rather malicious.

AgnesX · 27/03/2023 17:41

You've been hanging around for 9 years???

Wow.

mathanxiety · 27/03/2023 17:44

Yes, tell her.

She should have a choice about her marriage, going forward. Without information, how can she make a choice?

TwinsAndTiramisu · 27/03/2023 17:45

"Turns out I'm not that special and been used as a side shag for a decade. Hasn't bothered me that I've been seedily screwing someone's husband or cheating on my own. I've ruined my own marriage for a pointless affair, and he didn't even want me, which doesn't play along with my first love narrative, and I don't want to accept how wrong I've got this for so long and how much of a fool I've made of myself... So now I'm going to tell his wife, because he has to pay for not wanting me in the end"

There. Fixed it for you.

Don't be even more of an arse than you already have been and leave his wife alone.

custardbear · 27/03/2023 17:46

Grammar alert - journo trying too hard?!
If it's true then you need to take a long took in a mirror, he's been using you! You clearly mean less than his wife or he'd have left her years ago or had the sense to tell you not to leave your husband for a fling going nowhere.

Grow up, learn a (many many) lessons and keep quiet. You're malicious because you've been used but it's not your business!

Matildapower · 27/03/2023 17:50

Trolly mctroll face

WeeOrcadian · 27/03/2023 17:51

Jesus.

Good luck OP.

If you aren't a troll.

You're going to get your arse handed to you. And you deserve it.

rockingbird · 27/03/2023 17:55

@IWineAndDontDine oh yes he's a cunt to. No doubt about it..