He went silent after arranging 2nd date

[userab]

Just over a week ago I went on a first date, all went well, we got on, sat there for hours chatting and good time etc, next day he messaged saying he really enjoyed it and would like to go out again, I agreed snd we have been in contact since, not loads but you know checking in twice a week,

On Friday just gone he asked to meet on Sunday, I agreed snd we left it as we would meet Sunday evening and he offered to come over closer my way this time, I said I would look at some options and let him know.

Sunday comes round and I message over a choice of venue's between the two of us, he doesn't respond nor even reads the message, finally reads message at 7.30am this morning and hasn't responded

I really want to say something but don't want to come across like I'm annoyed but then the other part of me just wants to totally ignore it

What would you do, I'm guessing he blow the idea out now and obviously wasn't a good reason for not responding yesterday as surely if he did have a good reason he would of rushed to tell me

What on earth do you think is the point in asking someone why they didn't arrange a second date with you? It's completely obvious that he didn't want to have a second date and the reason is totally irrelevant.
I didn't say she should block - only if she feels she needs help not to contact him.

I would wait and see if he contacts you and offers an explanation. If so, decide if you think the explanation is reasonable and take it from there. If he doesn’t contact you again, you haven’t really invested anything in this, so just move on. Do not contact him first.

Honestly if a bloke I'd been on one date with left it until the day to suggest venue & time we meet. I'd assume he wasn't that interested and I would of already arranged to do something else that day.
I dont think there's any need to block the poor guy!
If you like him - send him a polite message saying sorry I've left it such short notice for Sunday and would he be interested in meeting another time - and I would be specific about location and time.
If you're not that bothered about him just dont message at all and leave it at that.

I would do nothing. The fact he read it this morning and hasn't replied rules out the (tiny) possibility that he was caught up in a huge emergency yesterday. He has obviously gone off the idea but lacks the manners to send a quick text to say he's calling it a day.

Cut your losses and move on.

We are on our phones all day, every day. If he wanted to check in, he would have made an effort.

And block ofc

Do nothing. It was one date.

Don't message him again!

I agree itight have been a bit last minute leaving it until the Sunday to message him but he didn't read it until today. He could have replied uestersay and said as he hadn't heard from you he was assuming it was off.

You'll just look desperate if you message him again.

I think maybe you left it a bit late with the details of the venues and maybe he thought you weren't interested. Maybe he made other plans because you took a while to firm up the details of the date.
But on the other hand, if he was that interested he could have contacted you to ask what was happening.
Don't think this one is going anywhere.

I wouldn't block as such, but I'd delete his number having not memorised it or written it down, then you know you'll never contact him again - it's too easy to unblock.

I would never block anyone (unless they were abusive) as I wouldn’t want their ego to know they’d got to me.

i would just carry on with life and in a few weeks when he comes back (they always come back) I’d take my time reading his message and I’d send an indifferent response but never meet him again.

I was just thinking the same. Been ok OLD as few weeks... If someone doesn't message me back within 24 hours i assume they're not interested, and move forward without a second thought. If ta man is interested, you'll have messages to and fro through the day.

What a wanker.

Don't dwell on it. This is normal

Sorry

I wish I had known of Mumsnet when I was dating for advice like this. It’s so bloody true!!

Don’t say anything OP. Let him crack on and so can you.

I was dating a guy once who disappeared for months on end and then popped back up again claiming he had had a heart attack whilst
playing tennis and was rehabilitating in the time he went off radar. Not sure if it were true or not, obviously awful if he did but I guess crazy things can happen?! 🤓

For what gain? He wouldn't tell the truth anyway and the fact he's gone radio silenet means his attention is else.

You should have sent him venues on Saturday, it's too last minute notice to be told the morning of the second date where you're going.

There’s merit in this PP view. Could he have come to the conclusion that as he’d not heard from you by Saturday night you had blown Him out?

This happened to me, guy disappeared. I didn´t find weird excuses for him and assumed he was keeping his options open and was meeting another woman. Then I met my now husband online and then first one reappears. I ignored him. Guess he also read between the lines and realised I also had my options open and was meeting someone else. Move on, OP. Ball´s in his court.

What a trooper! He loves his tennis all right 😷

Can you gives us more tips please? It's clear and concise. What are some green flags in dating? Asking for a friend obv 😋

If I'm arranging a date, I wouldn't Leave it until the day of the date to organise something, perhaps he wasn't keen for this reason and assumed you didn't sound very interested.

@Lastlongers @JenniferBooth have you been online dating recently? It's fucking brutal. Nobody but nobody would ask "why didn't you want to meet up"

OP I do think you left it too late to only be messaging to suggest places on the Sunday, the day of the date. I would feel like I was a last minute option if someone did that to me.

When I did OLD this happened all the time. I think men seemed to make too much of a second date. I had one guy who had all sorts of work commitments and would send me little update messages as though I was his girlfriend....never actually had the promised second date. I wouldn't block him but just see if he contacts you and in the meantime carry on OLD if you have the energy...

He's had a better offer. Block and move on

Assuming he didn't crawl back then?