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Original poster

Sex life isn't what I need

54 replies

PawsAndReflection · 26/03/2023 00:34

I am in the best relationship of my life, we're five years in and he's amazing in so many respects; he does all our washing, cleaning, my family love him and he's affectionate and respectful. It's very balanced so no concerns about resentment on either side.

But the sex has been tailing off for a couple of years. He never seems to initiate it (unless I'm ovulating) and one of the main bugbears for me is he just never goes in for a snog! I absolutely LOVE kissing. Is this normal?

I'm super comfortable with my body and (without being a big head) I think I'm attractive. I love this man so much but as time goes on I don't want to be stuck in a relationship with someone who, physically, isn't giving me what I want.

I've spoken to him about this a lot, and it doesn't change, so my options are:

  1. put up with it
  2. cut it off and look for something else
  3. counselling

I just need some advice, is this normal?

OP posts:
SugarMelonWater · 27/03/2023 06:18

Dont have a baby or buy a house and speak seriously about why he is like this. I don't think he's happy.

QueenBee1234 · 27/03/2023 07:25

So he does all of the housework and you need sex....you like* *most men that post on here OP.
Perhaps do some laundry and clean the bathroom then he might have a bit more energy.

Wishona · 27/03/2023 08:08

Why do people connect housework and sex all the time? (I know it’s probably a mix of partner appearing lazy or the other tired) In my quest to work out my own issues, I once tried keeping the house spotless for a while. The house did look nice but it made no difference 😂
I also didn’t have a lower sex drive after birth or breastfeeding and I did all have feeds day and night. If anything it increased my sex drive as I wanted something for me as a person, not just me as a mum.

NoDatingForOldMen · 27/03/2023 09:38

minipie · 26/03/2023 19:57

You also state that he is receptive when you initiate so it’s not like he just won’t kiss you or have sex.

Yes, I think a lot of posters have missed this and are assuming this is a sexless marriage. It’s not… it’s just one where you have to do all the initiation.

I absolutely agree that always having to initiate isn’t great for the ego. But as compromises go, this is a lot smaller than no sex. Personally if he is great in other ways, and continues to be responsive when you initiate kissing or sex, I think I would live with this compromise.

It’s almost like a, gender reversal, there are threads on this forum sometimes from female partners who say they are not really bothered about sex anymore and never initiate, but do it to keep their partners happy, and that what this guy sounds a bit like

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