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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Boyfriend broke sofa during an argument

65 replies

Blashed · 22/03/2023 15:23

Hi.
Me and my partner had a bit of rough night last night with arguments Today i contacted him to seek some resolution over the phone. During the discussion he became argumentative, shouting and began punching his sofa. i didn't realise till he told me he had just broken his sofa and following that he continued to punch it yelling and then cut the phone off.

Last time he did this he punched his steering wheel during an argument and sent me a photo of his fist to show me how much he "lost it".

Is this a normal way to release anger?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 22/03/2023 15:24

You know it’s not.

MuddyFeet01 · 22/03/2023 15:24

No, very worrying.

Naunet · 22/03/2023 15:25

No, it’s not normal, he should be able to regulate himself like an adult. Do you want to be in a relationship where a man expresses anger via violence?

Shakirasma · 22/03/2023 15:27

You know it's not, or you wouldn't be asking on here.
Which is a good thing btw, you recognise it's not normal and now you need to decide what you're going to do about this relationship.

Blueberrycreampie · 22/03/2023 15:27

Well the good news is, he's just your boyfriend and you don't live together. Easier to finish it with him, so that's what you need to do. You don't need this kind of shit do you?

vodkaredbullgirl · 22/03/2023 15:27

Not normal, red flags could be you next time.

TrombonesAreNotBones · 22/03/2023 15:29

No sweetheart, that is not normal. He is trying (and probably succeeding) to intimidate you, in a 'this will be you next' kind of way.

You need to get rid of him. He is no good.

Hoppinggreen · 22/03/2023 15:29

Not normal and sending you a photo of his fist is weird and a bit scary

3peassuit · 22/03/2023 15:29

He has a temper, a steering wheel, a sofa and maybe next time a human being.

ilovemydogmore · 22/03/2023 15:30

I would steer very clear of anyone who could not regulate their emotions.

Naunet · 22/03/2023 15:32

Hoppinggreen · 22/03/2023 15:29

Not normal and sending you a photo of his fist is weird and a bit scary

Yeah, it’s like a warning

Beaniesmumsie · 22/03/2023 15:38

No it’s not normal, he’s sent you a picture because he’s proud of his strength. I would break it off, don’t want you to be next next time he’s frustrated about something.

TomatoSandwiches · 22/03/2023 15:41

No it's not and sending you a picture of his fist scraped up is manipulative and threatening, get rid asap.

discobrain · 22/03/2023 15:42

Run AWAAAAAAAAAAY.

Mamette · 22/03/2023 15:43

Beaniesmumsie · 22/03/2023 15:38

No it’s not normal, he’s sent you a picture because he’s proud of his strength. I would break it off, don’t want you to be next next time he’s frustrated about something.

It’s also so you can see what you “made him” do.

It’s your fault he did this you see. You make him crazy.

Not.

Run away.

PurpleReindeer2 · 22/03/2023 15:45

He has massive anger management issues. Next time he could punch you when he loses it. Get the hell out of this dangerous relationship asap. Your future will only get better. Your future safe will really thank you.

FrancescaContini · 22/03/2023 15:47

I think he’s proud of what he can do with his fist and wants you to know about it so if I were you I’d never see him again.

LondonPretty · 22/03/2023 15:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 22/03/2023 15:50

Not normal and not normal to send you a photo of his clenched fist
I'd get rid before I was on the receiving end of it
Finish it

Topseyt123 · 22/03/2023 15:52

He's dangerous. You need to dump him. It could well be you he punches and breaks next.

I'm serious.

Lovingmynewbicycle · 22/03/2023 15:54

OMG do you need to ask...

Seriously, can you find a way to strengthen your self-respect and your boundaries

IncompleteSenten · 22/03/2023 15:55

No it's not.
Punching things often escalates to punching people.

I wouldn't hang about to find out.

CrinklyLoveStick · 22/03/2023 15:55

Are you
mad? Of course it’s not bloody normal. Run.

barbrahunter · 22/03/2023 16:03

He's revolting. You need to end this relationship for your own safety.

Thoughtful2355 · 22/03/2023 16:07

god run. One day it may be your face with him showing you how you have injured him by having made him do it