My boyfriend is making me suicidal, where can I get help?

[TSS2013]

I’ve been with my boyfriend a year and a half , he is always calling me fat and lazy but I am just so depressed with how he treats me I have no energy, I’ve recently just had a bad leg injury at the gym and he is really angry and gets annoyed with me because I can’t walk fast or go to the gym for 4 weeks to lose weight , I’m a size 10 in clothes so I wouldn’t say I’m fat but it’s really starting to affect my mental health, I have a young child from a previous relationship and him and my son are close but he is always shouting at me infront of him calling me horrible names like fat, I’ve asked him so many times to stop and he promises he will but never does , he threatens to leave me or sleep with other girls and always says I don’t care about him or give him enough attention , I’m genuinely lost all I do is run around after him and feel like I’m walking on egg shells he’s never actually hit me , except for an incident when we first got together but I’m so scared of him , he always threatens to hurt my friends and family every time we argue and always says I’m a horrible person and he wants to be rid of me, but never leaves I feel like I’ve lost myself and I can’t do anything without being scared how he reacts, even going shopping if they don’t have the food he wants I have a panic attack, I’m constantly crying but don’t know how to leave because of how scared and trauma bonded I am, I’ve tried going through the police but it didn’t help, I’m quite isolated from my friends because he keeps track of all my social media’s and puts spy ware in my home so I don’t speak to my friends to keep them safe from him, I can’t speak to my own sister to tell her what’s happening because I’m scared he will do something to my family. I don’t know how to leave but I just want safety and happiness for me and my son , he has made an appointment with a mental health nurse because we suspect he has bipolar I told him I didn’t want him around my son until he has been to his appointment and got help but he got angry and left me , the problem is he doesn’t leave he always comes back or guilt trips me into thinking it’s all my fault , I don’t know what to do or where to turn to when the police hasn’t worked well for me but I’m really scared and can’t keep living like this , every day I keep thinking of killing myself so I can get away from it. Does anyone please have any advice of how I can safely leave.

Call Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247. They are open 24 hours a day. They will help you make a plan.

Women’s refuge. I am so sorry you’re going through this.

Sorry autocorrect! women's refuge

You can report him and request a Clare’s law report. Does he live with you?

Can your child’s father help at all? What do you mean by spy ware in your house?

Get your son and yourself away from him please. He isn't worth it but your son is worth everything and more. You'll get yourself back to being you again. Sorry you're going through this tough time right now..

This can't be fucking real.

I’m presuming you’re shocked as oppose to thinking the post is made up?

Whose house is it? If yours, change the locks when he's out and dump his stuff outside.

Call the police for advice. He's an abusive bastard, guilty of verbal abuse, Coercive control, spying on you.

You're not trauma bonded to him. You've only been with him a year and a half. You CAN get away and reclaim your life.

Why on earth would you stay with him after one episode of violence or shouting??

You and your dc deserve much more.

If you think he has put spyware on your phone, leave it at home or switch it off. Take it to Apple so they can have a look.

Go and see family or friends and ask for their help. Tell people what us happening. Shine a light on it.

It's only been a year and a half, he shouldn't be living with you so soon as you have a DC who needs to feel safe in their home. If it is your property can you get the police to escort him out and make sure he doesn't have a key.

Get away the loser as fast as you can.

He's a complete wast of organs.

If you don't feel able to call from home, lots of places offer a safe space. Chemists and banks (boots, morrisons, hsbc, co-op). If you go into any and ask to use the safe space they will take you to a private room where you can make calls safely.

Womens aid, they'll assist you to move.
If its your property call the police and have them move him.
Get locks changed and call them every time he tries to make contact.

2nd this

You all make leaving sound so simple. Do you think if this man is truly as bad as OP says, he's just going to say 'fair cop' and quietly leave the house, never to return, if the police ask him to? Do some of you never read papers or watch the news about fatal DV attacks? Leaving a violent partner is the most dangerous time.
Also, those moralising about 18 months being too soon to live with somebody are just totally ridiculous and unrealistic and completely missing the point.
OP, if you are in immediate danger please somehow make contact with police. If you feel you can take a day or two to make plans, enlist help of WA, as some have suggested here, or find a reason to get yourself and DC to GP or A&E, feign illness or injury if you have to, and then alert the staff to the abuse you are suffering. There are people out there who will help you, even if the police you've had contact with before were useless, they are not all like that. You and your child need to get out, whether it's your home or his. You can hopefully go back in time, once it's safe to do so

We're so sorry to hear you're going through this, OP.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged to us we like to link to our web-guides, which we hope may be helpful. If you'd like to, please do feel free to take a look at our Domestic Violence page.

We also usually add a link to our www.mumsnet.com/webguide/mental-health Mental Health resources]]. You can also go to the www.samaritans.org/ Samaritans website]]
or email them on [email protected].

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.