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Original poster

Help me!! He is a snorer.....!!!!

33 replies

jelly79 · 20/03/2023 20:55

Anyone got any good advice for sleeping in the same bed as a snorer.

To be fair he is doing what he can, wears nose strips and Something in his mouth which do make a difference

Has tried nose clips and a snoring pillow which were useless

But recently every night we sleep together one of us ends up changing beds (we don't live together so this is not ideal!!)

Anyone tried any good ear plugs / earphones.

I'll try anything! (He isn't particularly that loud, I am a light sleeper!)

OP posts:
CC4712 · 20/03/2023 21:04

Sorry, but the only thing to help would for him to be seen by the sleep clinic/respiratory/ENT team to check if its sleep apnoea or a congenital anatomy issue causing the snoring.

DH snored for years! I tried multiple ear plugs. Boots, multi pack, soft foam ones were good. Didn't block everything, but reduced it enough to sleep. After YEARS, DH now has a CPAP machine and its absolutely silent! He now has the energy to exercise and has lost 20kgs since getting it! He is hoping to not need it soon.

I'm assuming OP that its a recent relationship? TBH- if snoring strips/pillows etc aren't doing anything (and they rarely do a thing!), then he needs professional help.

Original poster
jelly79 · 20/03/2023 21:08

Thank you for your reply! We have been together 18 months but it's getting worse and regularly don't make the whole night In the one bed.

He has been to the doctors who recommended a spray but may e I should suggest him going back!

I'll read about sleep apnea too!

OP posts:
Bunnyhascovidnoteggs · 20/03/2023 21:10

A swift jab from your foot to his leg works. Won't say kick as mn won't endorse violence...
Pretend to be asleep when he stirs. He will soon associate snore =sore (leg)..

JanesSadLittleLife · 20/03/2023 21:19

My DHs snoring is up to 70db (I checked), and I have these Loop earplugs.

Comfortable, don't block the noise completely but enough to get some sleep.

Quiet - Ear Plugs for Sleep – Super Soft, Reusable Hearing Protection in Flexible Silicone for Noise Reduction & Flights - 8 Ear Tips in XS/S/M/L – 27dB Noise Cancelling - Mint amzn.eu/d/6aP7gLC Loop Quiet

DustyLee123 · 20/03/2023 21:22

Separate rooms is the only way.

LactoseTheIntolerant · 20/03/2023 21:24

Snore calm ear plugs are really good. My dh used to be a dreadful snorer, it was so loud you could hear it through walls! But he gave up alcohol completely (about 4 years ago) and lost some weight and now barely snores at all or if he does it's much quieter and combined with the ear plugs doesn't disturb me. I don't know whether your dp snores after drinking, but I cannot believe the difference giving up has made to my dhs snoring.

Thefriendlyone · 20/03/2023 21:24

I got ear plugs, just a tub off Amazon but good quality ones. Makes all the difference

fivetriangulartrees · 20/03/2023 21:28

@CC4712 How did you convince your DH to get the CPAP machine?

On our first night together, my DP promised to deal with his appalling snoring but several years, two children and many extra kg later I'm still trying to convince him.

To the OP's point, soft foam earplugs are better than nothing but take some getting used to. You might need to try several types before you find ones you can tolerate, that block out enough but not so much that you feel weird and disconnected.

Original poster
jelly79 · 20/03/2023 21:40

fivetriangulartrees · 20/03/2023 21:28

@CC4712 How did you convince your DH to get the CPAP machine?

On our first night together, my DP promised to deal with his appalling snoring but several years, two children and many extra kg later I'm still trying to convince him.

To the OP's point, soft foam earplugs are better than nothing but take some getting used to. You might need to try several types before you find ones you can tolerate, that block out enough but not so much that you feel weird and disconnected.

I would take feeling disconnected right now! And weird!

OP posts:
Original poster
jelly79 · 20/03/2023 21:42

DustyLee123 · 20/03/2023 21:22

Separate rooms is the only way.

I couldn't bare that being the only solution :( so early on in the relationship too

OP posts:
Original poster
jelly79 · 20/03/2023 21:43

LactoseTheIntolerant · 20/03/2023 21:24

Snore calm ear plugs are really good. My dh used to be a dreadful snorer, it was so loud you could hear it through walls! But he gave up alcohol completely (about 4 years ago) and lost some weight and now barely snores at all or if he does it's much quieter and combined with the ear plugs doesn't disturb me. I don't know whether your dp snores after drinking, but I cannot believe the difference giving up has made to my dhs snoring.

Checking these out now!

I have always felt he snores less when drinking but I think it's because I have drank too and maybe in a deeper sleep

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 20/03/2023 21:50

Does he have a smart watch? I think you can get apps that give you a tap so you (apparently) turn over. Worth a go.,

Saturnsmoon · 20/03/2023 21:50

Op you have my sympathy…I’m currently on the sofa after waking up at 4.30 (not in UK) due to my husband’s snoring. He’s only started in the last year or so and honestly I think it’s down to weight gain (although definitely worse when he drinks). I usually just slept through but I am now pregnant and sleeping much more lightly. I was using earplugs but they have given me an ear infection so I need to find another solution because it’s becoming a nightly occurrence and really affecting my ability to function.

PermanentTemporary · 20/03/2023 21:50

I didn't share a bed with dp for a long time because I snore. Could you just try reframing it as something positive? Gorgeous sex, cuddles, them proper deep sleep in a separate bed? Tbh we are moving in together soon and as soon as my son has finished uni I am going to have a bedroom that is All Mine.

CC4712 · 20/03/2023 22:13

@fivetriangulartrees How did you convince your DH to get the CPAP machine?

It wasn't as simple as that! It was 10yrs before he agreed to get help! I took videos to show that he had massive pauses in breathing and would wake himself up. I showed him medical evidence of my concerns re his blood pressure/potential heart issues due to sleep apnoea. DH has past trauma with Dr's, and would absolutely not see a GP unless I made him.

I tried the epworth score with him, despite his own account and score being lower than what I could see for myself! www.asthmaandlung.org.uk/conditions/obstructive-sleep-apnoea-osa/epworth-sleepiness-scale

Eventually, his GP offered online appointments, so I signed up (with his permission) added in ALL the details I'd seen and lived with for years. Long story, short, he was finally referred to respiratory medicine and had a home test to check. He didn't need to go to a sleep study site, it was all done at home.

Yet more waiting, and finally they said that he had severe obstructive sleep apnoea and was waking himself every second! I think it finally sunk in that something might help. He chose a machine where you can add water, so his mouth stays moist. Its absolutely silent! I expected a hum or something, but I'm amazed!

I'm now in the process of weaning myself off the earplugs. After 15yrs of using them, I now find I wake without them. Best thing ever though for me and DH. He has lost weight, doesn't sleep in the day, more energy and lost 20kgs. I now wished I'd pushed harder years ago.

motheringfail · 20/03/2023 22:53

Flight socks! My DH snores horribly, to the point where we stopped sharing a bed.
My mother read an article about how wearing flight socks can help. After trying everything else I didn't hold out much hope but they've definitely made a difference! A mild snore here and there but the full on warthog snore is no more!

Maze76 · 20/03/2023 23:17

I am a snorer & I it’s definitely impacted on my past relationships. I’ve researched various options and I’m arranging to have have my tonsils removed.
However the other options worth exploring are the Sommenwell oral appliance and laser treatment.
Good luck

Caramelsmadfuzzytail · 21/03/2023 00:39

My cat snores. I have soft silicone ear plugs and wrap my head up in a feather pillow. I can still hear her but she doesn't keep me awake.

DrivingAllDay · 21/03/2023 00:44

My husband used to snore but once he retired he stopped. He was often exhausted when he was working. Since retiring, getting fitter and loosing a little weight he has almost completely stopped. It's amazing.

He snores if he has a few glasses of wine or if he has a cold but otherwise doesn't.

fivetriangulartrees · 21/03/2023 10:58

CC4712 · 20/03/2023 22:13

@fivetriangulartrees How did you convince your DH to get the CPAP machine?

It wasn't as simple as that! It was 10yrs before he agreed to get help! I took videos to show that he had massive pauses in breathing and would wake himself up. I showed him medical evidence of my concerns re his blood pressure/potential heart issues due to sleep apnoea. DH has past trauma with Dr's, and would absolutely not see a GP unless I made him.

I tried the epworth score with him, despite his own account and score being lower than what I could see for myself! www.asthmaandlung.org.uk/conditions/obstructive-sleep-apnoea-osa/epworth-sleepiness-scale

Eventually, his GP offered online appointments, so I signed up (with his permission) added in ALL the details I'd seen and lived with for years. Long story, short, he was finally referred to respiratory medicine and had a home test to check. He didn't need to go to a sleep study site, it was all done at home.

Yet more waiting, and finally they said that he had severe obstructive sleep apnoea and was waking himself every second! I think it finally sunk in that something might help. He chose a machine where you can add water, so his mouth stays moist. Its absolutely silent! I expected a hum or something, but I'm amazed!

I'm now in the process of weaning myself off the earplugs. After 15yrs of using them, I now find I wake without them. Best thing ever though for me and DH. He has lost weight, doesn't sleep in the day, more energy and lost 20kgs. I now wished I'd pushed harder years ago.

This is such a positive story, even if it took a decade to get there! I wasn't aware of the Epworth score - I'll take a look at that. Thanks.

Original poster
jelly79 · 21/03/2023 21:58

Luredbyapomegranate · 20/03/2023 21:50

Does he have a smart watch? I think you can get apps that give you a tap so you (apparently) turn over. Worth a go.,

Thank you! We have found an app to try! Great suggestion

OP posts:
Original poster
jelly79 · 21/03/2023 21:59

Saturnsmoon · 20/03/2023 21:50

Op you have my sympathy…I’m currently on the sofa after waking up at 4.30 (not in UK) due to my husband’s snoring. He’s only started in the last year or so and honestly I think it’s down to weight gain (although definitely worse when he drinks). I usually just slept through but I am now pregnant and sleeping much more lightly. I was using earplugs but they have given me an ear infection so I need to find another solution because it’s becoming a nightly occurrence and really affecting my ability to function.

Oh that must be so hard :( wishing you lots of undisturbed sleep x

OP posts:
Original poster
jelly79 · 21/03/2023 22:19

DrivingAllDay · 21/03/2023 00:44

My husband used to snore but once he retired he stopped. He was often exhausted when he was working. Since retiring, getting fitter and loosing a little weight he has almost completely stopped. It's amazing.

He snores if he has a few glasses of wine or if he has a cold but otherwise doesn't.

He works shifts and I often think is over tired!

OP posts:
Justkeepingplatesspinning · 21/03/2023 22:24

I snore. I've tried all sorts of things but sleeping almost upright on high pillows has really helped. That's been more effective than stopping drinking, losing weight etc.

RLEOM · 22/03/2023 20:08

My daughter's dad would snore and had sleep apnea. I just made sure I was the first to go to sleep. It was manageable.

My partner however... his snoring is so loud, we have to sleep in separate rooms. His sleep apnea is so extreme, he physically shakes/convulses throughout the night, like extreme laboured breathing, like his body is desperate for air or something. It's like watching someone die.

I'm going to sound awful but I don't know if separate rooms is something I want in the long-run, also the expense of holidays as we need separate rooms.