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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Viagra in a marriage

29 replies

xnyl · 19/03/2023 19:15

Hi,

Long story short, DH returned from work pulled his phone out of his pocket and a blister strip of pulls flew out, he grabbed them so quick as toddler DC's instantly eyed them, I barely saw them. He instantly said they were ibuprofen as he had a sore shoulder. I asked what was up with his shoulder, he then told me they were viagra because he "was anxious again"

Trouble is, he was prescribed viagra in his first marriage over 12 years ago. He said he was anxious and suffered with ED due to it, then he said he used it because of his problems in his relationship with his ex wife.

He's never been prescribed it within our marriage (that I know of?) but his DF has it due to a medical condition so I'm assuming hes got it from him?

We've been together 9 years and have two toddler age DCs. We've always maintained a normal sex life. Obviously we aren't at it like rabbits like we were pre-DC but we have it around 4 times a week, on a slow week at least twice.

Feeling a bit shit, mostly because he denied what it was and wasn't going to tell me, then I feel shit within myself because my self esteem has taken a knock and I'm 1.5st heavier than I was pre-kids. I'm usually confident, I don't know why this is bothering me so much. Now I'm paranoid thinking he's unhappy with me like he was with his ex wife. Now I'm spiralling into a whole new world of paranoia Sad I'm also acting completely neutral and fine because I don't know how to approach it.

Bit of a crappy end to Mother's Day, but I don't know why I'm feeling so shit about it. It's not the actual viagra that bugs me, it's his body and his right to take what he wants I think it's the secrecy element to it. He's never mentioned feeling anxious to the point where it caused ED and he hasn't had any ED with me that I've known of.

Any advice? Please be gentle I have absolutely no problem with him or viagra I'm just confused and don't know how to approach it and feeling abit caught off guard.

OP posts:
supercali77 · 19/03/2023 20:21

I think you need to speak to him about it. As you say you don't know if he's used it in your marriage before. Where he's getting them from etc. The kind of things I think you can ask without judgement. He's told you he used it at the end of his last marriage but...he may have underplayed when he used it?

GreyCarpet · 19/03/2023 20:52

I agree with speaking to him.

It sounds as though you've just been destabilised a bit because it's something you weren't aware of, a change to what you knew and has thrown up a few questions.

Since getting together with my boyfriend 18 months ago, I have begun to experience some menopausal symptoms. The only one that is really noticeable to my boyfriend is that I sometimes need a bit of extra lubrication during sex. He did refer to it once because he was worried he was getting something wrong and I needed something more/different to what he was doing. I told him and that was that. He just needed a bit of reassurance that I wasn't thinking 'ffs, this isn't working for me' and I was still happy with things and I guess you just want similar.

xnyl · 20/03/2023 06:46

He said he's becoming anxious and the last two occasions we DTD he felt nervous he wouldn't be able to rise to the occasion.

Then he's said he didn't tell me because he knew I'd see it as a reflection of how he feels about me, which I said I'd rather he just told me rather than see them flying across my living room and being lied to.

It bothers me that he was going to take them secretly, because if I'd of found them or seen him take them tbh I would find that quite disheartening. I'd rather he just told me.

It's our 9 year anniversary today, so this has been a bit of a shit start.

OP posts:
daisydot22 · 20/03/2023 06:52

It's not a big deal. He is obviously suffering from some difficulties and has taken steps to make sure it doesn't affect your sex life too much. It must be really embarrassing for a man to admit this. I get the need for communication but he's allowed to have his personal hang ups and doesn't need to tell you every single thing about his life/body/feelings.

I'm sure it's no reflection on you whatsoever. I really wouldn't try and guilt trip him over this. Think how you might feel if you were outed for taking something to improve your performance and then lectured on it. It's not the way to go.,

CleaningOutMyCloset · 20/03/2023 06:52

My dh uses them, but it's a real kicker to his ego and he was very reluctant and still is. He's also pretty embarrassed to need them, and doesn't really discuss it with me in any great length. He also used them with his ex.

I think age, kids, stressful jobs can add up to a problem, it's not any reflection on you op. I think he blindsided you somewhat, probably lied because he was embarrassed, which made it worse and didn't discuss beforehand that he uses them

Dery · 20/03/2023 07:02

“It's not a big deal. He is obviously suffering from some difficulties and has taken steps to make sure it doesn't affect your sex life too much. It must be really embarrassing for a man to admit this. I get the need for communication but he's allowed to have his personal hang ups and doesn't need to tell you every single thing about his life/body/feelings.

I'm sure it's no reflection on you whatsoever. I really wouldn't try and guilt trip him over this. Think how you might feel if you were outed for taking something to improve your performance and then lectured on it. It's not the way to go.,”

This with bells on. Allow him the space to deal with this. Don’t give him a hard time.

Dery · 20/03/2023 07:05

As I got dryer during menopause, I took to quietly using lubricant and it was very helpful. I’d have felt quite resentful if DH had made a thing of it and wanted a heavy discussion.

Suetcrust · 20/03/2023 07:13

I think Viagra can be bought over the counter at a pharmacy. For sure it’s advertised on telly.
It sounds like your intimate life is solid and mutual which is lovely.
As others have said , female or male, sometimes we might need a bit of help but don’t want to share that information too much. A gentle conversation might ease your mind.

xnyl · 20/03/2023 07:41

I haven't gave him a hard time, just left it there. I just feel a bit blindsided because I thought everything was fine but it obviously isn't.

OP posts:
xnyl · 20/03/2023 07:43

@Dery we didn't have a heavy discussion, I'd left it there. I was just a bit blindsided. I have no issue with viagra or the fact he's using it I just had no idea he needed it and wasn't expecting it

OP posts:
xnyl · 20/03/2023 07:44

@Suetcrust I didn't know that. He got them from his DF who is prescribed them due to a medical condition

OP posts:
Tuilpmouse · 20/03/2023 08:02

I understand where you are coming from OP, but your attitude is precisely the reason he isn't going to volunteer about Viagra.

I'm afraid your reaction and response will only fuel his need to use Viagra! The more sensitive and understanding you are, the more any issues will go away.

There are two things in particular you need to be mindful of with Viagra:

  1. The fact he is getting means he WANTS to have sex with you. If he didn't desire you, he'd simply stop having sex.

  2. Viagra is not a magic pill that makes men hard irrespective of sexual desire. He needs to be turned on in order for Viagra to work. Viagra doesn't fake arousal, rather it helps ensure that the "physical "plumbing" aligns with the sexual desire.

Realising these two facts should help allay your anxiety.

Opentooffers · 20/03/2023 08:06

Perhaps he could do with you bringing up the subject. Avoid outwardly seeming reactionary, although internally your feeling in turmoil, neutral is good.
How old is he? Did he have young DC with his exW at the time? There are lots of reasons he could feel like he needs them, not all connected with you and most likely about him as its happened before.
I'm not entirely buying his explanations of why he used them with his ex, he's set himself up for a a situation where you'd wonder more based on what he's said, which was unwise.
Basically it sounds like he's already blamed previous need of it as problems in his first marriage, which of course is going to make you worry all the more should it happen again. Really, that was probably just deflecting from the his body or mind letting him down, because of his own feelings of embarrassment around it. He's blamed an external circumstance rather than accepting that it's a thing to do with him. Most young men can manage regardless of other circumstances within their relationship at the time. He might genuinely think it was related to external factors, when really, he was just plain wrong.
Men put such pressure on themselves with it, that once its happened, its never forgotten about and so more likely to re-occur.
If he hasn't actually had ED to your knowledge, it looks like he gets a fear of it before it's actually happened based on an irrational fear, unless its happened lately to him while pleasuring himself. He takes it when he feel the fear building before there is any proof of it, which is more of an emotional attachment.
There is a chance that he's taken it on and off throughout his life whenever he feels anxious that it might happen just based on the memory of it having happened to him once, and that would be nothing to do with you at all.

Elsanore · 20/03/2023 08:14

xnyl · 20/03/2023 07:44

@Suetcrust I didn't know that. He got them from his DF who is prescribed them due to a medical condition

Maybe it's adding to his embarrassment and making it a bigger deal that he thinks he has to get them from his DH in a bit of a sneaky way.

In England (and elsewhere probably) it's easy to get them prescribed by going online from an "online pharmacy" (bit of a workaround for them being supposedly prescription only) and collect from any local pharmacy discreetly. There's also a cheaper generic version that are exactly the same as Viagara but cost loads less!

It might help to remove the sneaky element and make it just a normal purchase.

Elsanore · 20/03/2023 08:15

His DF not his DH!! Sorry!

Suetcrust · 20/03/2023 08:52

xnyl:
He can get them for example from Superdrug:
onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/viag-ppc.html
His local pharmacy too I expect.
I think they are advertised on telly as “Numan” … not sure.

In reality they are a drug to help heart conditions, to get blood to the peripheries.
Does his dad have a heart condition?

xnyl · 20/03/2023 08:56

@Opentooffers no kids to ex, he says he was anxious and needed them for intercourse. Their marriage ended on extremely bad terms so it does make me slightly paranoid.

OP posts:
xnyl · 20/03/2023 09:03

@Tuilpmouse thanks for your reply, but I haven't responded particularly out of character I've stayed neutral in how I approached it. It was internally that I was feeling taken aback. I haven't made him feel uncomfortable (that I know of)

OP posts:
DuringDuran · 20/03/2023 09:08

Would you feel as uncomfortable if he had hidden aspirin or ibuprofen because of aching or sore throat?

xnyl · 20/03/2023 09:55

@DuringDuran if he lied about it yes.

OP posts:
fdgdfgdfgdfg · 20/03/2023 11:09

Hi OP,

I've had periods of erectile dysfunction twice in the past, once for over a year.

For me, it was during periods of high stress in other areas of my life, and had absolutely nothing to do with how attractive I found my partner.

You may not have noticed it happening while having sex because he's not going fully soft. Sometimes I'd speed up to get to the finish line because I knew it was happening, or I'd switch it up and do something not involving my penis for a bit. Or it may be happening while he's having a wank rather than with you.

The problem with ED, especially when it's not being caused by anything physical, is that it's insidious. It happens a couple of times, and then every time you have sex, you start to worry it's going to happen, or think "Phew, I'm not going soft this time", and then it does. It's a self fulfilling prophecy, and it's a really difficult cycle to get out of.

And it's a horrible feeling. It makes you worry that this part of your body is failing you, that you can't do this thing that you're meant to be able to do as a man. You stress that your partner is going to think it's about them, that your erection or lack of it is going to make them feel upset or inadequate.

Like your husband, I too got hold of some viagra. I wasn't even intending to use it when I got it. It was just there as a backup, I think I was hoping that it's mere presence would provide a little mental fortitude. It didn't work. And then it didn't work when I actually used it. Turns out viagra is great for the physical causes of ED, not so much the mental ones.

The first relationship it happened in, it ended the relationship. I was dealing with hugely shit family drama, along with a crappy job that I hated. I was in my early 20s, didn't know how to deal with it like an adult. And my partner didn't help, she made it all about her. Six months in we split up, and the ED persisted through a few one night stands until one girl just shrugged and said "Go down on me instead then". (To be honest, I think she thought I'd drunk to much). She didn't care, and that removed all the pressure. We had a lot of fun that night without involving my penis, and the next morning we had a lot of fun with my penis, safe in the knowledge what we could go back to last nights plan should I fail, which I didn't.

The second time it happened was in my current relationship. This time I was ready for it. Again, it was during a period of huge stress. My mum was dying, and I was being made redundant. First couple of times I styled it out, but once it became clear this wasn't going away I sat DP down and explained what was going on, that it wasn't because of her, explained the details of what had happened the first time round. DP was great, we did other stuff for a couple of months. After about 2 months it became more intermittent, and then went away completely after another couple of months.

What I've basically written an essay to say is, this is really not about you. I get that it'll be knocking your confidence, and that you're upset about it, but showing that is probably the least helpful thing you can do right now.

If your husband wants to talk about it, then talk about it, but if not, don't go on about it too much. He'll already be making a huge thing about it in his head.

From a practical point of view, it's time to get more creative in bed. Don't be afraid to let it get a bit one sided for a while. Just because his penis isn't working, it doesn't mean he doesn't want to pleasure you. Men are all about their penis, so have no idea what they like when that's taken out of the equation. So find out together. And don't feel his penis has to be a touch free zone. Stroke it, play with it, just don't go furiously tugging on or sucking on a flaccid penis, it's not going to have the desired effect.

Anyfeckinusername · 20/03/2023 13:20

Great post @fdgdfgdfgdfg, I like the honestly.

Lovemusic33 · 20/03/2023 13:23

I don’t see it as a huge issue, many men use them for many reasons (not just anxiety), if it helps then why not? Yes it would have been nice if he had talked to you about it but it’s not a huge deal that he didn’t, he didn’t want it made into a big issue.

xnyl · 20/03/2023 13:28

Can I add, though I posted it here - I didn't overreact to him, or make it a big issue. I haven't embarrassed him, we spoke about it. I didn't like the lying element to it and I felt abit bewildered because I genuinely had no idea it was an issue.

I haven't overreacted or made it into a heavy discussion or issue. I came here to see how I should approach it, I haven't turned anything into "all about me" or anything.

He spoke about it, though he didn't say much he said enough and I didn't push it or carry on with it.

I was just confused and slightly hurt because I thought everything was fine and I got paranoid that it wasn't - it is fine, he's had a struggle and he's found a way to fix it that works for him.

I wasn't expecting them to fly across my living room and the whole thing caught me off guard. Some of these replies have been really helpful in understanding it from other points of views.

OP posts:
DogInATent · 20/03/2023 13:36

It's no big deal, and stop making it about you. You sound like you're as supportive as he'd expected you to be,

They're not prescription-only, so there's no need to invent fanciful notions about getting from his father. You can buy them over the counter or online.