DH birthday and a very long journey

[Mammadibambini]

It’s my partners birthday next week and our friend has chosen the same date for her wedding. Partner isn’t very happy about it. The wedding is in the north of England and we will need to spend a long time in the car to get there 4 hours approx. Do you have any ideas for how to make his birthday special given that we will drive for 8 hours over the weekend and spend all the time celebrating my friends wedding?

I wouldn't be that impressed if my DH was that uptight about his birthday, unless it ended in a 0. Can you stay over and make a weekend of it, so have a lovely birthday brunch the following day before you drive home?

Assuming your partners a grown adult can't he just celebrate a day early or a day late?

We will drive up Friday and have the wedding Saturday and then drive back sunday. He works long hours and weeks so he doesn’t actually have any other days for his birthday celebration and this weekend is my grans 100th. He’s had a bit of a Shit year so I think he was just looking forward to celebrating a bit.

Could you do something extra special for him privately to make it one to remember?

A good playlist or podcast for the car? Stop off somewhere nice for brunch en route? You do all the driving so he can drink relax?

Your husband sounds like he's five years old. Tell him to stay home so he doesn't ruin the wedding for you.

It's next week, have you only just been invited to the wedding?

No, the wedding has been rearranged 5 times.

I would appreciate if posters would keep any nasty comments about my partner to themselves and refrain from commenting if they don’t have anything helpful to say.

I was going to say this - surely this hasn't only just arisen?

I'm assuming he's self employed and therefore any time off he takes is lost earnings. In his place I might also be a bit grumpy at having to take up to 3 days unpaid leave to go to a fucking wedding 4hrs away.

I'd probably have suggested that you go alone so he could save his time off and then celebrate his birthday the following week. Would that work logistically?

Yeah exactly. I offered for him not to come but I think he feels duty bound to. Plus the wedding was supposed to be in March 2020 and has been moved a lot and they rearranged in September 2022 for the last time.

Probably shouldn't have posted them, people always like to comment on the partner!
Can you arrange a separate celebration for him another weekend that's all about him?

It's 4 hours. Is he some kind of man child? He needs to get a grip.

You could celebrate the birthday on the Sunday perhaps? Brunch? Or leave early and go for a meal when you get home? Failing that in the week.
Could you not have a joint celebration for your Gran’s 100th?

Best present would be to do all the driving so he can have a sleep!

I would Find a nice place to visit either in the place you're going to or en route home. And book a table somewhere nice as a surprise?

That actually sounds like a brilliant birthday weekend to me.

4 hour road trip with DP, good snacks and music in the car, quality time to chat with partner and have a laugh. Lovely meal and overnight stay in a hotel on Friday.

Celebrating a friends wedding on the Saturday, few drinks, another lovely meal, bit of dancing and another overnight stay in a hotel.

Long lie and cooked breakfast on the Sunday. Leisurely drive home with DP, stopping for nice lunch/meal en route.

What part exactly is the issue?

I could understand this post if it was about a 6 year old, but if it was my DP I would have long since told him to either put his face straight, or make his own preferred plans and stay behind.

Your friend hasn't "chosen' your DPs birthday for her wedding, they just happen to be on the same day, it's not personal. Lots of grown ups have to do all sorts of things on their birthday, a weekend away and a wedding isn't the worst thing I can imagine.

A mature adult is bothered about their own birthday?! That's just ridiculous and I've no sympathy. If he thinks he needs to be made a fuss of, then just move the "celebration" to the following weekend.
I am planning to volunteer on my birthday this year, and not a single person I'll be working with will have any clue that it's my "special day".

Ha yes! Although he dislikes it when I drive. I think we’ll share the driving. I’m not so confident at driving.

he drives a lot all week often 4 hours and is on a bit of a brutal job atm. He left at 4:30 today and won’t be back til late.

Is it a big birthday?

What was he hoping to do?

Tbh I think it’s sad that these posters don’t seem to make a fuss of theirs or their partners birthdays. It’s important to celebrate the milestones and festivities in life. Or else what are you living for?

thanks to everyone else for the ideas and suggestions!

What are your plans the friday night when you arrive ? Could you go somewhere just the 2 of you for a nice meal ?

Yeah i'm with this, sounds like a good laugh really. However if he is jsut a plus one to a wedding he doesnt care about then might not seem as fun.

We have a small baby so it’s tricky. We are also staying in a cottage with my friends.

If it was my birthday I would be happy with driving up after work on the Friday and having room service and an ‘early’ night. Perhaps book a room upgrade as a surprise and have a bottle of something waiting.

Birthday breakfast in bed with gifts.
Celebrate the wedding on the Saturday afternoon/evening.

Leave straight after breakfast on the Sunday and stop off at a place of interest/book a nice lunch 2/3hrs into your journey.

As a grown up these things happen and I’m assuming it’s not a BIG birthday like your Grans 100th (big congrats!) or 40th etc.