DH birthday and a very long journey

[Mammadibambini]

It’s my partners birthday next week and our friend has chosen the same date for her wedding. Partner isn’t very happy about it. The wedding is in the north of England and we will need to spend a long time in the car to get there 4 hours approx. Do you have any ideas for how to make his birthday special given that we will drive for 8 hours over the weekend and spend all the time celebrating my friends wedding?

Exactly they’re not his friends and he won’t know many people and the people he knows he doesn’t know well.

Could you stop somewhere nice for lunch on the way there or way back as a surprise? Or leave early on Sunday and get back for a surprise Sunday lunch. Maybe get breakfast in the room and/or take up a bottle of wine for when you get there? Can you get there early and have dinner or drinks? Do you have time on Saturday morning to go somewhere for breakfast? Make a fun playlist for the drive and take your favourite sweets/snacks/packed lunch things for the journey. A few small things might make the 8 hours in the car more fun for you both. Have a lovely weekend!

Just seen your update… perhaps enjoy the weekend with friends… birthday cake as part of breakfast on the Saturday and a family lunch on the way home. Request a babysitter for the following Saturday and have a night out/away your two selves?

It’s important to celebrate the milestones and festivities in life. Or else what are you living for?

Exactly. And a wedding of close friends is a massive milestone for them and should be a bigger festivity than another birthday.

Your DP can celebrate every year, and can pick any weekend he wants. Your friend will (hopefully) only get married once and sounds like she's had a really stressful time with rearranging it multiple times due to covid.

Your DH sounds very "me me me"

Ditto! DC and partner were leaving big city A and relocating to London my birthday weekend. Drove up Saturday, meal with partner’s parents, night in a hotel, swim and hotel breakfast before journey back on my birthday. Perfect!
OP do more of the driving than you would normally, take and buy snacks, playlist or his choice of radio. It’ll be fine.

I have to say your DH is sounding like he's 5 but if you really want to pamper to this moody man and make him feel special then you just need to put a different slant on it.

Call it his birthday weekend with a wedding in the middle.

Upgrade your hotel and make it special. A Spa hotel perhaps? Drive down earlier, have a lovely meal on the Friday night, book a Spa Treatment.

The wedding is only for a few hours - you could always slope off early and do something different if he really can't bear it.

For an adult’s birthday, a present and a meal out is pretty standard.

Pack the present to take with you.

Look for a really good place en route to have a Sunday lunch and make reservations. Then drove the rest of the way home so he can have a drink with his meal.

Celebrate it another weekend. There's no reason to be tied to the actual date.

I'm taking DP for his birthday meal next week, his birthday was in November. (His work was hectic then... then December was packed with other parties... then I was travelling for work... and the place I wanted to book was full throughout February.) I also had my birthday meal a couple of months late. I enjoyed it just as much because it's the treat and the company that matter, not the date.

Given you will have a baby with you, I think the best bet is to find another date, even if a month or two off, and give him an “official” birthday then.

I’ve been to a wedding on my birthday, I liked it. Nice meal, dancing with friends great times.

Sorry but what on earth? Your partner is in a huff that on his birthday weekend he has to go to your friends wedding? That is actually one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. It's the idea he thinks it acceptable to moan about....as a big growed up man with a baby. 4 hours drive is hardly a big deal. Sounds to me more like he just doesn't want to go to your friends wedding and/or spend all weekend with you and the baby. Surely to gawd a big grown up man isn't actually upset that he's having to share his birthday weekend with another celebration.

Would help to know what you would have done if the wedding hadn’t been on, that gives an idea of the scale of the birthday celebration you’d usually be having and may help with suggestions.

i turned 39 when my daughter was about ten weeks old. We went to a cafe and my husband took her in the pram and I sat drinking my brew. That was an excellent birthday!

Why not just ditch the wedding and show your man his birthdays way more important 😁

Sorry but a friends wedding wouldn't come before my partners birthday! I wouldn't bother with the wedding and just say we have birthday plans but have a great day. It's only a wedding

Well it is very difficult not to comment on your partner being such a big baby!

And I do celebrate birthdays, I just wouldn’t be such a dick about it if a wedding fell on my birthday. I’d actually think it would be a bit of fun.

LOL this is Mumsnet. Of course people are going to comment rude things about your partner. You’re better off messaging your friends and asking them or posting your question on somewhere like FB

Give him a bacon butty, cup of tea, card and pressie in the morning. Then off you go to your friend’s wedding, listening to music and chatting on the way. Sounds like a perfect day to me.

Aw, come on the poor man needs to come first!

Mostly I think birthdays are for children. I would suspect this man of relishing a big old moan about his special day. Not very attractive.

I think it's lovely to be at a 'do' on my birthday. Noone else needs to know or mention it, but it's something a bit different.

It sounds like your friend has been through the mill with her wedding and I hope that your DH will throw himself in to enjoying it. Also your GM bday - 100 - is a big deal!

If I were your DH, I'd enjoy having something different to do / a nice meal en route / a hotel stay. If he hates all of that, then just celebrate his birthday on another week end and do what he likes doing.

Sorry but he sounds like a child. Don’t get adults that act like their actual birthday is sacred. He’ll be at a wedding, sounds ideal to me but I love them.