I just found out my partner and father of our two children is cheating on me. Our youngest is a month old, he’s just gone back to work after paternity leave.
As if that wasn’t bad enough I’ve just found out on the days he took our 2 year old out to do special daddy daughter activities during his leave he took her to various pubs for ‘lunch’ with a woman that he’s cheating on me with.
we have find my iPhone on but neither of us check it to the point we both forgot it was on, and I haven’t mentioned it simply because I now know he will lie to me about where he is with our daughter whilst ignoring me and keeping her out until gone 10pm (after saying he was in a cab back 3 hours earlier).
I remembered we share locations when after an hour passed from him saying he was booking a cab and then stopped responding to me and reading my messages (this was when he was only about 30 minutes away according to what he had told me)… so I looked he was half an hour away, but in a pub not where he said ge was.
I called him to ask what was happening and asked where he wee again by message, after 5 called being ignored he replied ‘I told you where I was, I’m booking a cab now’
at this point it was almost our daughters bedtime, he said he’d be back to put her to bed
another hour passed
and he said he was waiting for a cab but nobody was picking up and they kept cancelling. We share an Uber account usually and I opened it to see if it was going to take long, he hadn’t tried to book a cab at all.
another hour, it’s way past our two year olds bedtime at this point.
When I angrily demanded an answer to how long he’d be and said it was irresponsibile to be out so late with her, and offered to try and book a cab for him with another app suddenly Uber flashed up with searching, then stopped again. He said one picked up and that it was using another app that wasn’t Uber (again one we both use but not often). I know his old Uber login so I checked that, I don’t know what made me do it. But there was indeed a cab booked, picking them up in 1 minute and dropping them home by 10.24. with another drop off, an address of a woman he works with, this woman is one that I have been told he was very inappropriately close with to the point his colleague asked me if we’d split up.
I asked where he’d been when he got home and why he didn’t get the bus or train, as that would’ve gotten him back in 45 minutes, vs the 27 in a cab.
he repeated the place he’d told me he had been, I asked if he went anywhere else he said no, or seen anyone etc and asked me angrily if I don’t trust him with HIS daughter and implied I was saying he’s a shit dad.
He stank of drink and looked out of it, he’d had our 2 year old in a pub for over 4 hours. She was exhausted and had a filthy nappy and HADNT had dinner.
Every time he’s taken her out there’s always been delays on him coming home never this bad so I didn’t think about it. But he’d been home late from work for the same reasons and having to ‘stay late’ last minute.
When he went back to work he was supposed to get off early on the first 2 days to help me with bedtime (all agreed with his boss in writing), he told me he was stuck an extra hour & then trains and buses etc were delayed. 3 hours later he’s finally ‘almost back’
From 25 minutes after he finished work he had been sat in the pub down the end of our road insisting he was at work, and when I suggested he was lying he raged at me about how he was WORKING and I’d just have to deal with it.
I don’t want to tell him I know he lied because of sharing his location because I don’t want him to turn it off, as I need to know where our two year old is when she’s with him and he can’t be trusted to tell me the truth about that or get her home on time or even at a reasonable time.
I know he’s cheating.
I know he’s had our daughter around her.
I am almost 5 weeks postpartum & I am broken… i am disgusted.
I don’t want to let him take our daughter out and I don’t want him near me, but I have no family close and friends work full time with young kids of their own so have no other help. I am healing slowly from a traumatic brith so not ready to do it on my own fully yet, everytime I’ve dealt with both of them for extended periods of time it has caused pain and made my bleeding worse, so I don’t want to risk that being a problem just yet. I want to be healed enough to do it without him when I confront him.