One year in... no I love you.

[Overthinkingperhaps]

So I'm in a new ish relationship
A year. And it is going amazingly well.
No arguments (yet)
No pressure.
Everything is wonderful.
And we very much act like we love eachother but neither us have said it.
It started off as very much a casual thing and for the first 3 months or so it was.
It has changed though and feels very meaningful.

We had both recently separated when we met.
And were friends for a few months before after meeting on a works night out.
He's from another company who has a small amount of input to the company I work for.

We both have children. 4 teens between us and we haven't introduced the children into it and don't actually intend to, for now anyway.

We spend a couple of evenings a week together sometimes more sometimes less. Have been away for weekends and have a holiday booked for June. Just us.

I really love him. It has become more apparent recently for me as I miss him as soon as he's gone.
But I'm so apprehensive to tell him.
I feel like a teenager again 🤣

I'm worried it will either A) not be reciprocated or/and B) will scare him off.
And I really don't want to scare him off
But after a year surely we should have said it to eachother and I'm starting to worry that it could be a problem.

Should I be worried?
Should I be brave and if I need to be brave. How do I say it
What do I do if he doesn't say it back?

I see this as him saying it without saying it! He’s been testing the waters with his past statements I think. You’re very LOVEly, say it in a LOVing way etc etc.

He's definitely in love with you. Just bite the bullet! 😂

I think he's teasing you with the "I like you quite a bit." (In a joky way, not a nasty way).

Didn't you recently say "it's lucky I like you?"

So I think he's trying to be cute.

I'd go back with something like "I'm somewhat fond of you too 😀 ".

When he sends a text like "I like you quite a bit" just reply and say well actually I think I might be a little bit in love with you and see how he reacts.

Again thank you for all the replies.
I imagine I'm quite irritating to read

He's away but he's being very sweet.
Has said twice this weekend.
I miss you. And then a" and I don't mean the sex"

And I had a. I wish we were on the sofa watching games of thrones.
We have just got into it. And our nights together consist of binge watching it.

I'm really that exciting. Hahahaha.

I'm just going to tell him.
I thought I might tell him I've ended up liking him a lot more than I intended perhaps?

Hi op, I'm also seeing an ex colleague for the last year and a half and it's wonderful. We also started out as a casual thing but with lots of respect and a bit more than just casual perhaps.

He told me maybe six weeks ago that he loved me but I didn't say it back I told him about two weeks ago.

Good luck 😃

He does sound like he wants to say it but is unsure of your feelings. Exactly like you!

I remember a couple of times my bf said things like "This is why......" sort of trailing off, and he'd also say things about how much he liked me etc.

God, it was so hard knowing how much I liked (loved!) him and being terrified that he didn't feel the same. So much overthinking!

How did you get on @Overthinkingperhaps ? Hope it is still going well.

Say to him, If you say it first, I'll say it back.
Actions speak louder than words though, so if those show you're His priority then that's all you need to know.

This thread is so cute 🥰 Good luck, OP, I think he'll be saying it back.

Just tell him! if it is the way you feel. You’ve been seeing eachother for a year so either he is serious about you or not, but either way you are serious about him and it has been an appropriate amount of time.

" it is fine, it is a good job I like you quite a bit ❤️❤️"

I said I was passably fond of mine.

Actions mean more than words though, and I think he's well on board with you. Why make it out to be such a big deal, just saying words?

I've been in this situation twice.

First time my gut feeling told me (which was based on his actions) he wasn't in love with me.

I forced it, and he said it but I never really felt like he meant it. We broke up.

Second one I knew he loved me but just hadn't said it. Again based on his actions. I was really relaxed about it, didn't push it then out of the blue on holiday he said it. After almost a year. Still together.

My advice is if everything is good forget it and let it happen. Or take the risk and say it first ...

I had the same....turned out to be a massive commitment phobe who I think actually loved me but saw articulating it as too much.

The agonising those three little words cause in the early months of so many otherwise good relationship is a shame. We've built the words up too much, and we massively over-analyse what it means.... people can't agree on what "love" is anyway! If we simply just defined it as "really like in a romantic way", lots of relationships would be a lot happier.

Please tell me you got to it..! 😂

I think you can ease into it talk about how happy you are in the relationship how wonderful you think they are how happy you met them etc how excited for future ... test the waters this way

Hi op. I've just read your thread and got curious (nosey).......has either of you said it yet?

I knew a guy who struggled with the word. Not the emotion, just the word. The only people he would use it with were his kids. Not his wife, not his parents or siblings, just his kids.