Can a relationship survive an affair?

[Elvira2000]

Simple as that. I caught dh red handed. He's far from perfect, but I do love him. I know he loves me. He is a good dad and finanical situation means splitting would be a huge (unmanageble) option. I don't want to break dd (11) heart.

Reasons over why i want to try to try again. But is it realistic? I know that the reason was sexual. He has a higher sex drive than me. I have ignored this and/or withdrawn sex when he has been an arse for years. I knew it was not sustainable or fair.

I feel partly responsible. (Although he is a grown man - i get that). I also feel very sexually unconfident now. How can he go from the high-octane sex of a new woman (first in 20 years) to a 10 minute run of the mill with me? Also how can I trust him again? We have a dog who needs a lot of walking. Perfect for a quickie, as i discovered. Also we live abroad and me and dd travel back to the uk. In fact that was when it started.

I am at the beginning stage of figuring the future out. (Also childishly signed up to tinder, drinking too much wine and ringing in sick while holding it together for dd - family trip to Ikea today...deserve a bloody medal).

Can relationships survive affairs?

Please don't do it to yourself. Don't waste any more of your life.

He will do it again. And again. And again. I promise.

op, theres thread after thread on here about women who forgave only to find out he did it again and again.

Well, you want different things, don't you? He wants lots of sex and you don't. How are you going to square that circle?

You still won't be well matched, even if you decide you want to forgive him.

And could you really forgive him? And move on, and never worry about it again? Could you go back to trusting him?

I think you'd spend all the time you're apart wondering who he's with and what he's doing.

I think it depends on the reason. If it’s he has a higher sex drive, then unless one of your sex drives changes then the issue hasn’t been resolved. There is still going to be an on going issue in your relationship. I would suggest counseling for both of you individually as well as together.

Tried making it work with my ex. Could never trust him again and ended it. I'm so much happier but glad I tried. What's to say then when things get rough he won't do it again? Many do. It's not worth torturing yourself for. Your choice. No amount of housework covers for a liar and a cheat which is what he actually is. The grown up person would have had a discussion with you about a way forward not completely disrespect you and fall into another woman's vagina.