Fed up of him wasting all his money ...

[blureede]

My partner and I live together.
He earns £1,900 a month and I earn £1,300
We live in a cheap area to rent -our rent is £330 a month for a 2 bed semi
Our bills only cost around £1200 a month (including food )
So we have £3,200 altogether
So after bills /food etc we should have £2,000
We go £600 each
I'm left with £700 a month and he is left with £1,200
A week after payday he is skint
He has In the past gambled online but says he only spends £50 a month now
He got paid the 29th and has nothing left
So here I am covering him again for nights out /anything
He says he lent his friend £250 till payday
I don't believe him
I honestly think he's gambled it
So here we are two weeks till payday and he has nothing again
He never learns
Every month he says he will change and stop wasting money and he never does

He is a user loser gambler and you are unbelievably silly to be with him.

Have you so little self respect and value for your life that this waster is all you think you deserve.

He's a gambler who will drag you into the gutter.

He knows you will step in and pay for him.

Cop yourself on and grow up before it's too late.

He is a gambler, I think its worse than cheating, drugs, alcoholism etc. They take their families down with them, it can take decades to financially recover once the addiction is in full control of them, the debt is family debt so divorce doesnt get rid of it. You can get away from this consequence free now, I would run.

Stop doing it.... He does it because he knows you're a mug....

Start off by you getting more share of the left over pot. You are subbing him anyway so why should he start off with more? Then when he 'borrows' off you, he's just getting back what he was getting.
Other than that i would consider leaving this doomed relationship

If money is disappearing without anything to show for it, it is generally being spent on something 'bad' e.g. gambling, drugs, paid-for sex......unless he is putting cash into another account he has not told you about.

Based on what you've said about the rent, you could afford that for yourself without his money, staying where you are.

My advice is to have a conversation with him where you tell him that you are unhappy with the way things are going and that you want to end the relationship with him. I'd give him 30 days to move out into somewhere else so that you can contact the landlord advising them that you're going to take on 100% of the rent yourself. He can find somewhere else to live.
Or
You find somewhere else to live if the rents are so low and you could afford it yourself and you end it and move your stuff out.

It's not a long term relationship.

Best of luck to you.

Tell him you aren't bailing him out unless you can look through his statements - you should get a very good idea very quickly of where it's going! I did this with my 24 year old- he soon reigned in the Ubers, deliveroos and only fans!!

If he earns £1900 pm and you earn £1300, you should pay proportionately for bills, so he puts in more than you, so you have equal spending money.

But this prince doesn't do that. He spends all his money then expects you to sub him.

He is bleeding you dry and lying about what he spends his money on.

I'd leave him.

It's stuff like dinner money for when he's at work and cat food /litter etc
Petrol for his car etc
So I will pay that out of my spare money

Why?

I'd probably buy the cat litter - no reason why they should have to suffer - but rats to the rest of it. Granted he'll be in a mess if he can't reach work, but how else will he learn?

It doesn't matter why he does what he does. You are only in charge of you.

You are gambling by proxy. You have an addiction to being a nice and thoughtful partner. You love spending money in order to avoid confrontation.

What are you going to do about it?

You are the problem here. You know exactly who he is, how irresponsible he is, yet you still keep bailing him out, allowing him to be a freeloader, and then complain about it. None of this has to happen, you are letting it happen. You are your biggest problem.

Look his gambling isn’t your fault. Whether he is with you or someone else … he will still gamble. It’s absolutely heartbreaking because I expect you love him very much. You have pinned your hopes on a nice loving relationship.

But I urge you to look at the reality, please.
Just for one month DO NOT give him any money. See the reaction you get. Will it still be loving?

When someone you love lies to you (and he is lying) it’s soul destroying. It completely strips you of your confidence and when you are in that place it’s very hard to get up.
But get up you must!
Have you got parents who you could go to. Maybe stay with them for a few weeks and see how he gets on. I’m sure he will fed the cat and I know he will eat.

Be strong. There is lots of support on here as I found out last year.
I wish you well x

Op are you coming back or too busy maybe giving him your money, so he can keep living it up as he pleases?