Husband quit job and now burning through our savings

[Cherry85]

My husband quit his job last year after a health scare and to focus on looking after his ill parent.the agreement was he would take three months off max to focus on his health and spend time with his dad....he is still off 6 months later, heavier and unhealthily than ever and spends all day on tik tok.

Last year his dad gave us a very considerable amount of money as a wedding gift.....I have just found out over 80% of it is gone already (it should have only been around 10% on our bills etc that he was covering). I am starting to really panic about money, we have a DS and I work part time.... but I'm starting g to wonder at what point you step in and protect yourself.

Our relationship has gone down the pan due to his depression but I keep hoping he will snap out of it soon..... but I am worried about the state we will be in financially by then.

I don't even know what I'd be entitled to financially as only been married a year.

I guess I feel if he had been focusing on getting healthier and actually committed to the things he was planning to do to help himself then the finances would be manageable - but at the moment there is very little signal of any effort.

You are in the early days of your marriage but if you are going to continue and make a go of it you really need to get this money issue sorted.
I was the same in my marriage, my husband's well off parents often gifted him money and it was always seen as 'his' so I had no say in how it was spent. And I always accepted that thinking 'well, they are his parents' but we were married, it was both of ours!
You are married, everything belongs to both of you unless you signed some kind of pre nup.
Don't be like me and feel some weird sense of guilt around it, marriage is an equal partnership and things are shared 50/50. Accept that as a fact and speak to your husband about this money and how you should be consulted about how it is spent. If he didn't want to share things with you he shouldn't have married you.

Transfer the rest of the money to your personal account and get a solicitor.

I agree re depression. People don't just snap out of it. Even if they have a period where they seem ok it is temporary if they are not really addressing the issues. Has he considered speaking to a health care professional? Could you work more and your husband take on child rearing duties,?

But what you you both living off for your day to day spends?

You work pt so have assumed it won't cover everything.

If you didn't think he was spending the gift money, what did you think was covering your bills?

Obviously this does not cover the extreme drop in the savings but you need to have some financial accountability for what your household has been relying on for expenditure.