Is this a break-uppable offence?

[crystalmoon3746]

is this a deal breaking offence?

look in bfs phone at his conversation right his ex and he said to her:

>i’m gonna go to bed now because i’m too tired to function and i wouldn’t want to cross a line

she asked what he meant and he said

>old habits kicking in for example

they were together for a long time and we’ve only recently started. we are LDR i different continent and she only lives 2 hours away.

I wouldn't be happy with that at all but I guess only you can decide if its a dump able offense!
How often are they in contact?
It's quite suggestive of him phrasing it like that, kinda putting out the bait to see if she'll bite

Having a new relationship with someone on a different continent would be a no-go for me but yes having him making this sort of comment to an ex would then be red-line number 2.

Ues, only because she will now become in your mind the person he wishes he was with and you'll never feel secure and happy - you already don't if you're going through his phone. Get rid and get someone who wants you.

Same. Your call but I wouldn't accept it. Especially since he is the one instigating. Even if he is talking about something like raiding the fridge or watching rubbish on Netflix, he is phrasing it suggestively and quite intimately. Exes need to be either ancient history or totally platonic friends/ co parents not late night flirting partners.

What's led you to looking at his phone, is there more to this?

He has feelings for her still. End it

Who decides where your boundaries are? There are no rules.

Is it to you?

If you've just started seeing him and you're already checking his phone then yeah you should break up with him

Why are you checking his phone?

>why are you checking his phone

because i knew i’d find something like this

Yes, this.

Anything is a break-uppable offence if you want to break up with someone. You can even break up with someone if you want to without there being any offences at all!

Just to pick an example out of thin air, I would consider someone snooping through their partners phone to be a break-uppable offence

Why would you want to be with someone who you know is messaging someone else?

If you don't trust him to the point that you're checking his phone then the relationship is dead.

How can you check his phone when you are on a different continent?

If you live on different continents How are you checking his phone?
If you've met up in person I'm guessing that's an infrequent occasion?
If you're together infrequently - and he can't manage to stop messaging his ex for just that time - it's definitely time to end your relationship with him.
Long distance relationships - probably more than any other - need trust and you dont have that so again its time to end it with this guy.

What I want to know is why are you going through his phone? It's a new relationship and you're already shitting all over it.
If you don't trust him, just leave. You have no right to his privacy.

Then yes. He’s crossing a line. He was putting the feelers out to see how she’d respond. No one accidentally tries to flirt/sext just because they’re tired.

It’s a no brainer, OP. 💐
You’re in different continents, he’s 2 hours from his ex, he’s got urges (for her), too much angst. Not worth it. 🙁

Move on gracefully. You live hours away and don't trust him. It appears with good reason as he is sniffing around someone else. I don't see how this will get better, do you? Find someone closer by.

Nah, I wouldn't be having any of that. He def is still feeling her.

Don't waste any more of your precious time on a halfhearted arse.

Yes, he should absolutely break up with you

Regardless of if he's a cheating twat or not long distance relationships, especially on different continents, rarely work out. You'd be better off finding someone nearer.

You don’t trust him and he’s testing the water with her. Honestly it’s not worth the heartache