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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

WARNING- I got trapped in eharmony contract

70 replies

OldFan · 08/03/2023 01:10

I'm sure this is a tale as old as time, but I thought I'd warn people again.

Read somewhere that eharmony was better for religious people as there are more on there.

I was looking at the site and they must've caught me at a vulnerable moment as I like to think I wouldn't usually do this.

It said 'deal ends in 12 hours' or something and so I signed up. The deal was only a reduced price for 3 months or something.

Unless you leave within a fortnight there is no way out of your contract, no cancellation fee etc. I'll be paying them £18 a month for the best part of two years!

Really archaic way to do business.

The site is pretty dead, too so it's not even like I'm getting anything much for the £18. I was loath to rejoin PoF but I did and at least something's happening on there.

Anyway, this really was out of character and I don't need telling off- the paying out will be enough of a telling off.

I just thought I'd warn people.

Maybe I'll try and somehow get out of it. Sad

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 08/03/2023 01:27

The site is pretty dead, too so it's not even like I'm getting anything much for the £18.

I'd have a good old argue then. They breached their contract with you because they didn't deliver etc. Make all their lives miserable until they cancel the contract.

I'm a customer service nightmare. TBF I also write nice compliment emails as well if people do a good job.

Slinkyminky22 · 08/03/2023 01:34

If it's not a direct debit (which you can cancel) can you complete a form online with your bank to "cancel a regular payment"?

I've had to do this before when I inadvertently signed up to some sort of subscription with my bank card. It wasn't too much hassle to fill in if I remember correctly, but it stops all further payments to a certain company.

Probably googling your bank name and cancel payment would help.

Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2023 03:36

I had this same thing happen to me. They were taking the payment directly from my bank account. Here is what I did…. There is an option to change your payment method ie. From bank account to PayPal. I changed the method to start paying by PayPal. I then logged onto my PayPal account and cancelled all future payments to eharmony from there. EHarmony are now unable to take payments via my PayPal account as I’ve cancelled the payments.

Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2023 03:38

Also they cannot take anymore payments directly from my bank account anymore as they do not have permission to do so. I have however been blocked from using eharmony as a free member due to not paying my membership lol

Zanatdy · 08/03/2023 06:22

That’s rubbish as what if you met someone within 1 month, you’re then paying for 18 months.

I am debating signing up to a dating sight in a month or so. I was single for over a decade after split with father of DC. He worked overseas until recently and so I was busy raising my kids / no babysitter. Now my kids are growing up / one at Uni. I’ve got a lot of time on my hands. Been dating an ex colleague last 3 months which made me realise I would like to be with someone, enjoy some dates etc. Not really working out with ex colleague as he’s got sole custody of young kids and is a crap texter / communicator. Think I need to date someone who has time on their hands too! But where to join etc?

JustKeepGoingThere · 08/03/2023 09:36

Have you at least cancelled the automatic renewal for after the 2 years are up!

If you really haven't be matched with anyone even vaguely suitable you could argue that you should be allowed to cancel under consumer law as they are breaking their side of the contract.
How long ago did you sign up? Have you used any of the premium services?

Original poster
OldFan · 08/03/2023 11:31

EHarmony are now unable to take payments via my PayPal account as I’ve cancelled the payments.

@Mumofnarnia When did you do it? Have they sent you any intimidating correspondence asking for the money or anything?

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 08/03/2023 11:37

Have they sent you any intimidating correspondence asking for the money or anything

Why does this matter?

PotatoHeadedSerialKiller · 08/03/2023 11:45

£18 a month sounds pretty expensive.

I wouldn't say that site is particularly good for religious contacts. I would have thought a specialist religious site would be more appropriate.

I have some problems with how difficult they make it to cancel auto-renewal, but that is common to a lot of subscription sites. You just have to make sure you cancel the auto-renewal.

Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2023 11:52

OldFan · 08/03/2023 11:31

EHarmony are now unable to take payments via my PayPal account as I’ve cancelled the payments.

@Mumofnarnia When did you do it? Have they sent you any intimidating correspondence asking for the money or anything?

No they haven’t. I did it about 3 months ago. There is nothing they can do about it to be honest, the worst they can do is delete your account. If you select to pay by PayPal, they can no longer take it directly from your bank account as they no longer have permission to do so. Then just cancel all future payments to them from your PayPal account.

Original poster
OldFan · 08/03/2023 11:52

@Watchkeys I don't want debt collectors after me or anything like that- I'm weird like that. Smile

OP posts:
Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2023 11:57

OldFan · 08/03/2023 11:52

@Watchkeys I don't want debt collectors after me or anything like that- I'm weird like that. Smile

What can they do though? You have tried to cancel a service you no longer wish to use and they have made it impossible for you to do so. It’s a dating site, they can’t force you to date people. It’s not like you’ve purchased a car or a sofa and not paid for it.

Grenola · 08/03/2023 12:04

Cancel via your bank, or cancel the card it is set up with. If they contain just say they didn’t make it clear the cancel policy.

Ibhave to keep an eye on my App Store account and online bank in case i sign up to stuff as I struggle with this stuff a lot

Original poster
OldFan · 08/03/2023 12:18

@Grenola The annoying thing is I'm normally quite good.

I have bipolar and if I'm not well it effects my spending and makes it different from my normal habits. So I'm going to try and call eharmony and say that as well, that I wasn't well when I pressed the button. Companies can be reasonable these days, I had somewhere let me off a payment this way. Because if they look like they're not treating people with poor health well, it reflects badly on them and can get around social media etc.

But this eharmony seem so archaic they probably won't do it. No harm in me asking though.

OP posts:
Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2023 12:23

Also tell them that you’ve met someone from another site and do not wish to keep paying a monthly fee to them and expecting people to do so is encouraging people to keep their account open and so encouraging infidelity. Also, I think it’s ridiculous that a dating site assumes it’s going to take you 2 years to find someone. You could find someone in the first 6 months

RunningFromInsanity · 08/03/2023 12:28

Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2023 11:57

What can they do though? You have tried to cancel a service you no longer wish to use and they have made it impossible for you to do so. It’s a dating site, they can’t force you to date people. It’s not like you’ve purchased a car or a sofa and not paid for it.

Show quote history

Of course they can go after the debt. If you sign a contract, you have to fulfil it.

If you buy a car on finance and just cancel the DD, do you think they would just forget it?
If you sign up to a year long gym membership and stop going after a month, you still have to pay for the year.

Original poster
OldFan · 08/03/2023 12:37

@Mumofnarnia Have you experienced firms trying to debt collect/send red letters before etc?

We paid for the facilities to send messages etc, not for guaranteed matches. They are still providing the service for us, whether we choose to use it, manage to pull through it, or not.

I agree that it seems a really dated way to do payments and probably is partly why they don't have many people on there.

OP posts:
Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2023 12:38

RunningFromInsanity · 08/03/2023 12:28

Of course they can go after the debt. If you sign a contract, you have to fulfil it.

If you buy a car on finance and just cancel the DD, do you think they would just forget it?
If you sign up to a year long gym membership and stop going after a month, you still have to pay for the year.

Show quote history

Buying a car is not the same as a subscription service. If you no longer wish to pay to be on a dating site ie. Because you’ve already found someone then you should not be expected to keep paying for the subscription. In my case Eharmony made it look like the subscription was for 3 months, they then kept taking the money out of my account after the 3 months had ended, there was an option to cancel my subscription which I opted for, but they still kept taking money despite my profile saying I’d already cancelled the subscription.

Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2023 12:47

RunningFromInsanity · 08/03/2023 12:28

Of course they can go after the debt. If you sign a contract, you have to fulfil it.

If you buy a car on finance and just cancel the DD, do you think they would just forget it?
If you sign up to a year long gym membership and stop going after a month, you still have to pay for the year.

Show quote history

Also, I would like to point out that they have not come after me or sent me any threatening correspondence. All that’s happened is that when I’ve logged into my account they’ve just blocked me from using it unless I finish paying the subscription. The only emails I have received from them are silly spam type ones and ones to tell me I have a new message.

Mumofnarnia · 08/03/2023 12:48

OldFan · 08/03/2023 12:37

@Mumofnarnia Have you experienced firms trying to debt collect/send red letters before etc?

We paid for the facilities to send messages etc, not for guaranteed matches. They are still providing the service for us, whether we choose to use it, manage to pull through it, or not.

I agree that it seems a really dated way to do payments and probably is partly why they don't have many people on there.

No haven’t received any threats from them at all. People shouldn’t have to continue paying for a subscription that isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

Original poster
OldFan · 08/03/2023 13:00

I've changed to paypal as you suggested, and cancelled the 2025 auto renewal, but I fear they haven't nagged you more because it's only been 3 months @Mumofnarnia . In another few months they might do more about it.

As a PP said, say if I sign up for a gym but don't think it's very good, it'd still be very hard to get out of that contract on that basis. As long as they're providing the basics they agreed to provide for the money, then my not thinking they're particularly good is neither here nor there.

But we live in hope :)

OP posts:
Original poster
OldFan · 08/03/2023 13:02

People shouldn’t have to continue paying for a subscription that isn’t all it’s cracked up to be

I know. Life isn't fair.

It's a cautionary tale I guess and will make me even more careful in future.

OP posts:
Original poster
OldFan · 31/03/2023 21:12

@Mumofnarnia Have you heard more from them at all?

They rejected my request for an exception, without them giving any reasons.

I blocked the payment through my bank and will take it from there. If need be I'll get some sort of solicitor's letter.

Eharmony emailed to say they couldn't take my payment, as soon as they'd tried.

OP posts:
GreekDogRescue · 31/03/2023 21:14

Just call your bank to cancel the direct debit. They will write and moan but eventually will give up

Original poster
OldFan · 31/03/2023 21:30

@GreekDogRescue Have you had dealings with them?

I've blocked the Visa payment but I assumed that companies don't give up. If a company don't get their money they'll eventually employ debt collectors etc. Or doesn't it always work that way?

OP posts:
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