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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

WARNING- I got trapped in eharmony contract

70 replies

OldFan · 08/03/2023 01:10

I'm sure this is a tale as old as time, but I thought I'd warn people again.

Read somewhere that eharmony was better for religious people as there are more on there.

I was looking at the site and they must've caught me at a vulnerable moment as I like to think I wouldn't usually do this.

It said 'deal ends in 12 hours' or something and so I signed up. The deal was only a reduced price for 3 months or something.

Unless you leave within a fortnight there is no way out of your contract, no cancellation fee etc. I'll be paying them £18 a month for the best part of two years!

Really archaic way to do business.

The site is pretty dead, too so it's not even like I'm getting anything much for the £18. I was loath to rejoin PoF but I did and at least something's happening on there.

Anyway, this really was out of character and I don't need telling off- the paying out will be enough of a telling off.

I just thought I'd warn people.

Maybe I'll try and somehow get out of it. Sad

OP posts:
Mycatisfatafatcat · 31/03/2023 21:33

Only a company that has no confidence in its product would do this. Just cancel it, they’re hardly going to take you to court.

Spottycarousel · 31/03/2023 21:49

I had a similar situation with a dating site years ago, can't remember which one it was.

I phoned my bank and explained I wasn't made clear what I was signing up for. My bank were incredibly helpful and cancelled all payments so the site wasn't able to take any more.

It is highly unlikely eharmony will bother chasing you. If they do just ignore them. I really can't see them prosecuting as 18 pound a month for a dating site is ludicrous anyway and they are taking the piss. If you're concerned a solicitor's letter explaining you didn't know what the terms were as it wasn't clear should do the trick.

Hopefully they will give up.

Original poster
OldFan · 31/03/2023 21:59

phoned my bank and explained I wasn't made clear what I was signing up for. My bank were incredibly helpful and cancelled all payments so the site wasn't able to take any more.

@Spottycarousel Didn't the company nag you?

I really can't see them prosecuting as 18 pound a month for a dating site is ludicrous anyway and they are taking the piss.

£18 for nearly 2 years for a total of over £400. Angry I did pay £30 or something for CatholicMatch but they didn't try and trap me in in the same way.

I'm glad you all think I don't have to worry too much.

OP posts:
Spottycarousel · 31/03/2023 22:11

OldFan · 31/03/2023 21:59

phoned my bank and explained I wasn't made clear what I was signing up for. My bank were incredibly helpful and cancelled all payments so the site wasn't able to take any more.

@Spottycarousel Didn't the company nag you?

I really can't see them prosecuting as 18 pound a month for a dating site is ludicrous anyway and they are taking the piss.

£18 for nearly 2 years for a total of over £400. Angry I did pay £30 or something for CatholicMatch but they didn't try and trap me in in the same way.

I'm glad you all think I don't have to worry too much.

No I never heard from the company after the payments were cancelled.

Hopefully it will be the same for you.

Mixkle · 31/03/2023 22:19

When did you sign up? In England there’s an automatic two week ‘cooling off period’ when you can cancel for internet purchases, I think. The contract can’t prevent that.

Original poster
OldFan · 01/04/2023 12:11

Yep, unfortunately it was 3 weeks before I realized this was definitely a mistake. Sad

I've heard it claimed that the few people that message you at first on eharmony are bots, not real people.

OP posts:
Spottycarousel · 01/04/2023 13:08

If you get hassle from them (hopefully you won't) maybe emphasise again the Bipolar and say you were extremely unwell and vulnerable at the time and you simply don't have the money to be tied into that sort of contract (which is morally wrong anyway - like others said, what if you met someone within a month??). If it continues saying the same to a solicitor and asking for a supporting letter is a good idea.

I honestly can't see eharmony taking you to court over this. If they try to scare you with letters just ignore them. You'd only need to be concerned if they involve a debt collector or mention court. Fingers crossed they don't do this.

Original poster
OldFan · 01/04/2023 13:34

If they employ a debt collector do I need to worry about that (probably a silly question.)

I don't see how they wouldn't as otherwise they would get a reputation that people could just ignore their demands.

But I live in hope.

OP posts:
EastAngle · 01/04/2023 15:27

Some good advice on this thread. I wouldn’t pay to use a dating site, in my experience the same men are on all the sites (90% unattractive and looking for sex). You can message for free on the big ones. Hope you get this sorted.

Watchkeys · 01/04/2023 15:58

They would have to pay a debt collector more to visit you than you owe them. Do you honestly think they're sending people out to collect unpaid fees, to protect their reputation? Do you honestly think they're taking people to court?

Spottycarousel · 01/04/2023 16:10

I just did a quick bit of research online. It seems that eHarmony does contact a debt collection agency and they will email or write to you. The good news is that people have generally advised to ignore their letters or say that the eharmony is operating against consumer rights. One person did this and never heard anything again. I'll post the link.

gerbilcrocus · 01/04/2023 18:47

If eHarmony tried to take someone to court to enforce this, they may as well close their business as the bad publicity would be utterly ruinous.

Watchkeys · 01/04/2023 18:50

gerbilcrocus · 01/04/2023 18:47

If eHarmony tried to take someone to court to enforce this, they may as well close their business as the bad publicity would be utterly ruinous.

Exactly. Has anybody ever heard of anybody being taken to court by them?

gerbilcrocus · 01/04/2023 18:51

And requiring someone to sign up for a 2 year contract for a dating site is ridiculously stupid business model.... Some idiot probably thought that tying people in was a sure fire way of making money from them for am extended period, when all it will do is tank the business. It's so boneheaded that I'd argue that it's being run by people trying to scam people.

They're effectively saying that they don't expect you to find anyone over that period!

Original poster
OldFan · 01/04/2023 19:45

And requiring someone to sign up for a 2 year contract for a dating site is ridiculously stupid business model

@gerbilcrocus They do 6 months, 12 or 24. But it's still an antiquated way of doing it. They lured me in with some sort of deal. I never would normally fall for something like that, that's partly why I don't think I was well.

My normal outgoings are really low and I've been very happy with how I'd got everything going. Sad Hey ho, you live and learn.

OP posts:
Original poster
OldFan · 01/04/2023 19:46

@Spottycarousel Thanks, will have a look.

Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
OldFan · 06/04/2023 01:34

Hi troops I deleted my account on eharm but I found a potential way out if anyone happens across this thread and needs it.

By registering for a eharmony account, you agree and represent that you will not misuse the Service and comply with our conduct requirements. In particular, you will not use the Service: to to distribute any immoral, obscene, pornographic or radical political content or photos; or to distribute any defamatory, offensive or otherwise illegal content or information; or to threaten or harass other members, or to infringe any third party rights (including personal rights); or to upload any data which contains a virus (such as infected software); or to upload data which contains a software or other content which is protected by copyright, unless you own the rights in that content or have otherwise obtained the necessary consents; or in such a manner that your use will adversely affect the availability of offers to other members; or to intercept any e-mails / messages or to attempt to intercept them; or to send any e-mails / messages to members or use the video chat feature for any purpose other than to communicate, and in particular you will not use the Service to promote or to offer goods or services to other members except where this is expressly permitted by eharmony; or to send any chain letters; or to send any messages that serve a commercial purpose; and/or to provide in your personal description and free-of-charge contact requests any names, addresses, phone or fax numbers, e-mail addresses, etc. if this information is not explicitly requested. 7.9 If you do not comply with the conduct requirements explained in this Clause 7, or if you fail to materially comply with any other of the Subscription Terms, we may take the following actions: we may ask you to stop your non-compliant activities (or otherwise send you a warning that your activities do not comply with our conduct requirements); we may delete any content which you have submitted via the Service in breach of any of our conduct requirements; we may suspend the provision of the Service to you (in whole or in part) until the issue is resolved (for example, while we investigate your activities); or (if it is clear to us that you are seriously misusing the Service) we may

terminate the provision of the Service to you.

If we decide to terminate your subscription because you have misused the Service, we will refund to you any payment that you have already made to us for any unused portion of the Premium Membership that we have not provided. However, we may still also deduct from this refund or charge you a reasonable amount as compensation for any costs we incur as a result of your non-compliance with these terms. If you have purchased your Premium Membership through Apple / Google, any refund will be made in accordance with Apple's / Google’s own terms as further described in Clause 2.4.
---
So if you've been daft enough to sign up for 2 years (over 400 quid) like me, it's probably worth acting awful so you get the service terminated for you. The most ethical way to do it would be that if you have any friends with an eharm account, let them know it's coming and why, and send them any of the banned correspondence above. The friend(s) could report you so you eventually get thrown off. People could even do it reciprocally for each other. Grin

OP posts:
JMSA · 06/04/2023 05:20

They can't have much faith in their product if they sign you up for that long!

thegrain · 06/04/2023 05:44

OldFan · 06/04/2023 01:34

Hi troops I deleted my account on eharm but I found a potential way out if anyone happens across this thread and needs it.

By registering for a eharmony account, you agree and represent that you will not misuse the Service and comply with our conduct requirements. In particular, you will not use the Service: to to distribute any immoral, obscene, pornographic or radical political content or photos; or to distribute any defamatory, offensive or otherwise illegal content or information; or to threaten or harass other members, or to infringe any third party rights (including personal rights); or to upload any data which contains a virus (such as infected software); or to upload data which contains a software or other content which is protected by copyright, unless you own the rights in that content or have otherwise obtained the necessary consents; or in such a manner that your use will adversely affect the availability of offers to other members; or to intercept any e-mails / messages or to attempt to intercept them; or to send any e-mails / messages to members or use the video chat feature for any purpose other than to communicate, and in particular you will not use the Service to promote or to offer goods or services to other members except where this is expressly permitted by eharmony; or to send any chain letters; or to send any messages that serve a commercial purpose; and/or to provide in your personal description and free-of-charge contact requests any names, addresses, phone or fax numbers, e-mail addresses, etc. if this information is not explicitly requested. 7.9 If you do not comply with the conduct requirements explained in this Clause 7, or if you fail to materially comply with any other of the Subscription Terms, we may take the following actions: we may ask you to stop your non-compliant activities (or otherwise send you a warning that your activities do not comply with our conduct requirements); we may delete any content which you have submitted via the Service in breach of any of our conduct requirements; we may suspend the provision of the Service to you (in whole or in part) until the issue is resolved (for example, while we investigate your activities); or (if it is clear to us that you are seriously misusing the Service) we may

terminate the provision of the Service to you.

If we decide to terminate your subscription because you have misused the Service, we will refund to you any payment that you have already made to us for any unused portion of the Premium Membership that we have not provided. However, we may still also deduct from this refund or charge you a reasonable amount as compensation for any costs we incur as a result of your non-compliance with these terms. If you have purchased your Premium Membership through Apple / Google, any refund will be made in accordance with Apple's / Google’s own terms as further described in Clause 2.4.
---
So if you've been daft enough to sign up for 2 years (over 400 quid) like me, it's probably worth acting awful so you get the service terminated for you. The most ethical way to do it would be that if you have any friends with an eharm account, let them know it's coming and why, and send them any of the banned correspondence above. The friend(s) could report you so you eventually get thrown off. People could even do it reciprocally for each other. Grin

Oh! Maybe that's why some of the people on there are awful? They are trying to get their money back!

Aquarius1234 · 25/04/2023 00:16

Bumping this.
I'm having to pay £22.80 every month till the end of the year!
Have cancelled the auto renew. But still couldn't believe you aren't allowed to cancel whenever you want apart from the first 14 days of signing up!!
I tried the PayPal thing but didn't work.

Aquarius1234 · 25/04/2023 00:18

I only signed up as a way of meeting just a few new friends. Thought there might be normal ish people on there.
Not at all.. was shocked at the costs. I literally thought I would just pay for a month.

Original poster
OldFan · 25/04/2023 01:24

So sorry others of you have had this experience Sad

They also do that tricky thing where the advertise it as one cost which lures you in. Then when you click on it it says there are 'admin costs' which bump it up an extra £3 a month and stuff like that.

It's all made me even more cautious of signing up to or buying stuff.

My consultant has written me quite a good letter, if they give me more hastle I'll submit it. I called to said I had additional evidence to submit but of course no one got back to me. 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
OldFan · 25/04/2023 01:27

Supposedly that you get a few people contact you at first is mostly bots,too.

So they just say hi or upvote your profile etc. Then you think there are more people active on the side than there really are, and don't cancel in the first fortnight, then are trapped.

OP posts:
Original poster
OldFan · 25/04/2023 01:28

*site

OP posts: