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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH won’t let me pay for school trip!!

62 replies

Reallyhadenoughh · 07/03/2023 08:54

I’m honestly sick of this man telling me what to do and not what to do he won’t just let me do what I want it always has to be an argument.

Ds is going a trip to the local church today and then the zoo are also visiting next week. The total amount is £5 I was supposed to hand it in last week but to be honest I’ve just been too busy and I never have cash on me. So I was planning to go to the cash point before school. He’s going mad at me telling me that I never listen to him.

WHY THE HELL CANT I PAY IT IF I WANT TO?

His argument is that there is no point now I’ve missed the deadline. This has just turned into a huge row before the school run kids are late and I’ve ended up just staying at home.

Another thing he’s having a go at me for where I’ve hung my coat on the coat rail. Nothing I ever do is good enough I’ve just had enough of it all!

OP posts:
diddl · 07/03/2023 14:43

ArcticSkewer · 07/03/2023 14:08

or maybe last week was her turn, this week is his

Show quote history

Well as I said-I don't know.

Perhaps Op will come back & clarify.

nc1013 · 07/03/2023 15:01

Barannca · 07/03/2023 13:53

I am quite confused by this. Don't all schools use an online system for paying rather than take cash?
But apart from that did he stop you paying it or did you just decide not to after the row ?
Whatever it doesn't sound a healthy atmosphere for your children before their school day

I wish. My Dds school insist on cash. This week they wanted £2.95 in exact change

BadNomad · 07/03/2023 15:01

I read it as he (or someone else) does the school so she was going to run out to get cash before they had to leave, but because of the argument it was too late to do that so she didn't go in the end.

CurlewKate · 07/03/2023 15:47

Wow- so many women excusing this man and saying it's the OP's fault. How depressing.

Naunet · 07/03/2023 17:55

The people excusing him because OP should have paid last week, what’s your excuse for him having a go at her over where her coat was on the rack? Does that sound like a reasonable man?

piedbeauty · 07/03/2023 20:51

Well, you should have paid the money in time. I'd do that. Focus on that. Does he have a point?

WindowGazers · 07/03/2023 22:07

Naunet · 07/03/2023 17:55

The people excusing him because OP should have paid last week, what’s your excuse for him having a go at her over where her coat was on the rack? Does that sound like a reasonable man?

Exactly. I'm single but I'm trying to picture this scenario with the men in my life. My dad, my brothers, my uncles. Every single one I imagine would say 'don't worry about it, just pay now and see what they say'. Certainly can't imagine them berating anyone for hanging their coat up the wrong way.

CombatBarbie · 08/03/2023 09:44

WindowGazers · 07/03/2023 22:07

Exactly. I'm single but I'm trying to picture this scenario with the men in my life. My dad, my brothers, my uncles. Every single one I imagine would say 'don't worry about it, just pay now and see what they say'. Certainly can't imagine them berating anyone for hanging their coat up the wrong way.

Show quote history

But if its behaviours that constantly happen, you can't see how that could cause cross words? If the child now can't go on the trip because of her lack of organisation is that OK for the child to miss out?

Kittlbua · 08/03/2023 11:52

piedbeauty · 07/03/2023 20:51

Well, you should have paid the money in time. I'd do that. Focus on that. Does he have a point?

Right....
and what about the coat rack?

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 08/03/2023 13:05

Another thing he’s having a go at me for where I’ve hung my coat on the coat rail. Nothing I ever do is good enough I’ve just had enough of it all!

& do you challenge this fuckwittery, or allow it to dominate your life & the home atmosphere?

Have you ever tried telling him to wind his neck in, because his boring Victorian Dad act is boring you to sobs?

Mari9999 · 09/03/2023 00:58

Not one person yet has explained how this man could actually stop this woman from paying.

caringcarer · 09/03/2023 01:37

Kennykenkencat · 07/03/2023 09:21

Don’t tell him anything and just go ahead and do what you want

The only way to do what you want is to do what you want and ignore your Dh

Will your ds miss out on the trip?

Exactly this. Just do what you want and never mention anything to him. He can't moan about what he does not know about. In the longer term he sounds abusive and is trying to stifle you. I'd be getting rid.

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