I don't think my boyfriend fancies me/finds me sexually attractive

[WetTowelsOnTheFloor]

Just that. I have no doubt that he loves me and enjoys spending time with me but I don't think he is particularly sexually attracted to me.

I've tried speaking to him about it a couple of times and he denies it saying that he does, he loves me and I'm everything he's ever wanted.

But I just don't believe him.

The most recent example is last night. We had a busy weekend and both had early starts this morning and decided we'd have an early night last night saying we'd go to bed at 10. We decided during the day to have an 'early night 😉' and go to bed at 9.

I went up at 9 and he went for a shower before bed. He was in the shower for ages. Far longer than he normally is. He then came up and was completely disinterested in anything. He got his phone put and checked fb, checked the football scores and started playing scrabble. An hour and a half later, he said he was going to sleep now, kissed, told me he loved me and rolled over with his back to me.

We had sex on Friday night and sunday morning and he didn't finish either time. I assume he had a wank in the shower and that's why it took him so long.

This morning, he's been very quiet with me. Something wasn't quite right. He gave me a kiss left for work and said he'd seen Wednesday but there was something 'missing'.

I just don't hink I'm enough for him but talking to him clearly isn't working because he just offers reassurances 😕

ED is totally typical at his age and naturally it's incredibly difficult to talk about, men's sense of self can get really wrapped up in it. The problem is, erections rise and fall naturally during sex, as men get older they rise and fall more, some men end up getting very anxious about it falling and find that they can't get out of the anxiety and before you know it they've lost their erection and can't finish. I think you need to talk to him about it. If he's open to it. Also, there's a website called mojo as an alternative to viagra etc, started by a couple of young men who had the issue.

Once again, the woman here absolutely determined to take all the blame / responsibility for an issue.

Not really. My husband recognised he had a problem and got it sorted. I didn’t have to do anything.

I had an ex who could never finish. Turned out he was a porn addict.

His no spring chicken now is he. Maybe sex just isn't a priority to him at this stage in life.

Getting treatment for erection problems is ridiculously easy. He doesn't even need to see a GP! An online consult will do the job and he can pick up the tablets the same day in many cases! If a man has issues, he has no excuse not to take action which will, unless he has serious underlying issues, generally be effective!

Why on earth are you wasting your time here????
Your more like "companions" than "partners"
Fine if that's what you want but I get the impression you want more

I'd just say you don't think it's working and end it

Well for one I don't think you are both communicating properly, both on best behaviour by the sounds of it, where you can't discuss important issues.

He probably has Ed, but being ten years younger you may feel it's because of you, you are 10 years younger and that can be quite a jump in understanding the health and sexual health problems of those older. Not a problem if you live together day in day out but you still seem to be dating and not really talking about your insecurities and fears on both sides.

Eighteen months is not that long especially as you don't live together but you really need to open up, both of you like adults to discuss this.

The Ed can be overcome but your difficulty in communicating to me is the real problem, and maybe your lack of understanding of older men, his problem is his refusal to realise he's an aging man, it's hard to come to terms with your body not functioning as it once did.

But really it's impossible for us to know for sure, maybe there's something you just can't put your finger on, those instincts are usually there for a reason. You mention that you're worried you're not living up to the hype,

Why do you think this ?

Why in the world are you putting up with a man that would rather tug his meat alone (probably to other women) than have sex with the woman that loves him? Any woman reading this in a similar situation, please fucking leave. You deserve a man that doesn't choose to partake in the oppression of your gender and who respects, loves, and fancies you the way a partner actually should. Take it from someone who has bee in this situation multiple times...they don't ever change and it only gets worse the longer it goes on. Just fucking run.