What has my life become...

[Whathaveibecome1]

Partner has been angry with me because he made a comment about my family disliking him and it's all my fault. I reminded him that he needs to take some responsibility for cheating.
He went nuts about me bringing up the past, shouting at me that I was a "fucking twat" at night, outside the childrens rooms whilst they were sleeping. He has left and refuses to come back until I apologise for bringing up the past.
I said I only brought up the past as a response to what you had said but don't you feel you should apologise for swearing.

Amongst many messages telling me I'm depressed (I'm not) and I'm breaking therapy rules by mentioning the past (we left therapy 8 months ago when he declared he doesn't neeeld to change anything but I need therapy).

His response was "I called you a twat because calling you a bitch seems to cause offence"
Is it just me who finds this response ridiculous!

How are you this morning @Whathaveibecome1 ? Hope you managed to get some sleep.

If I understand correctly, he cheated, as a result your family don't like him so now he's annoyed your family don't like him because he cheated? Man! There's a whole bunch of entitlement right there.

I'm sorry you're having to face this! 😞

@Whathaveibecome1 I haven't read all the posts so not sure if someone has recommended this to you but please buy yourself Lundy Bancroft's book 'Why Does He Do that' - your partner is definitely abusive and Lundy explains in the book how they can use your children against you. What's been brilliant for me is reading and being able to now see and understand that the person you live with is an abuser - there is a name for it and that it's not your fault.

One of the biggest insights for me from the book is that I did couples counselling with my abusive partner several years ago and felt like the counsellor and my partner 'ganged up' on me at various points - it really damaged me but Lundy writes how couples therapy does not work with an abuser (explaining it in detail) and it's been a revelation for me x

THE FUCKING DOCTOR AGAIN?!!!!

Please can someone help with money advice...leaving abuser and stuck. http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4755562-please-can-someone-help-with-money-adviceleaving-abuser-and-stuck

Stop wasting your time posting and analysing his behaviour on hundreds of different threads and LET HIM GO!

You obviously aren't going to leave him, ever.

He's abusing your children, and at this point, so are you. Honestly, someone needs to intervene in this toxic shitshow that YOU have chosen for your and YOUR CHILDREN's lives!!

But you won't, you've already decided to stay with him because "money".

You need banning from posting or something, it's taking the piss out of other women who have tried for years now to help you.

Your sons are being abused. Own your part in that.

Emotional blackmail www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4721353-emotional-blackmail

Read this before you waste time commenting people, she doesn't want to leave him.

He's already back to being "your partner".

I have every sympathy for domestic abuse victims, I have been one myself, but you are the most disingenuous, dishonest poster I have encountered on here.

This man emotionally abuses both your children. And you reward him with sex. It's pathetic.

OP is obviously in turmoil this weekend just gone. I know I went through many incidents like she's described before I was able to leave. I was looking at houses 6 months before I left and still continued to put up with abuse in all that time. I'm sure my friends were frustrated with me thinking why didn't I just leave but it is hard. Hard when you don't know how your going to house yourself and your children, how your going to keep working. The only way I ended up being able to leave was by going back to my parents. So I'm not going to judge @Whathaveibecome1
I'll just continue to hope that she finds the strength to get out.
Never give more of yourself online than you can afford to not get back.