Weirdest/Most Grim OLD experience

[RiverRobin]

I don’t know why I do this to myself, I’m back OLD (early 40s, children, divorced) looking for friendship/sex/nothing too serious. Only rejoined yesterday, started chatting to what I thought was a reasonable option, after a while he asks ‘would you be shy to fart in front of me’, bit weird but I reply ‘yes, not something I would expect from somebody’. Next thing I know, long fantasy sent from him about is desire to have someone fart on him, how he loves the sound/feel. I just want a pleasant, normal exchange leading to a possible meeting! Instead I end up feeling sick.

I once had a guy said "how do you like your eggs in the morning? Fertilised?"

If he's based in London I know him too

Reddress2023

i avoid the ENM ones
and agree
if your so happily coupled with ‘willow’ why are you on the app literally hourly !!??
Do you never spend any time just hanging with your poly wifey ??

Oh we were supposed to be surprised?🤣

I won’t be using OLD again. Met a very nice person, funny we are both into music wanted to catch up at every opportunity then asking for money started a month in. Then I find out he is seeing someone else else he asks for money. Never met such a loser but he didn’t come across that way.

I am sure there’s some good ones but I will not take the chance. I don’t want me time or energy wasted again.

It wasn’t something I’d ever done previously, so I was a little apprehensive at first? The first time it happened I was rather tipsy (which helped) and… it was kinda fun?

@Rachael95 The things you're saying? Aren't Questions?

😆 nor are they true, I suspect.

If you asked, what he did, what car he drove and where he lived I can see why he thought you were interested in his money.

This was from probably 20 years ago (as thankfully no OLD in a long time) at the very beginning of the idea of OLD. I met a guy who was vegan. When we finally decided to meet for a first date, I parked near his house, met him at the door (didn't go in, though in retrospect, I probably wouldn't do this now), and he wanted to show me his rice steamer. Apparently, his diet mostly consisted of rice in various forms. We walked to a restaurant nearby. He ordered the vegetable fried rice. To top it off, he claimed to have forgotten his wallet, so I had to pay for his bloody rice. We did not have a second date, because in addition to eating too much rice, he was also dull as hell.

On a more horrible note, I also met another guy around the same time. We arranged to go to the cinema (which is a weird first date anyway, but I didn't entirely appreciate that at the time). We met in the car park, got to talking, he completely creeped me out. There was just something completely psychopathic about him that I couldn't quite put my finger on. He was just off. I made excuses that my mum had rang me and needed me to come home and I jumped in my car and sped off. A few years later, I was working in a role that involved child safeguarding. We had a child who we were concerned about in relation to a particular adult. I had no proof in terms of DBS, etc. that this adult posed a threat as all checks had come back clean, but I knew where the adult lived, so I was doing a google search of their name/street and name/neighbourhood to see if anything untoward came up about them. Instead, I found a news article about this guy I'd been on a date with years earlier (he lived on the same street) and he had been arrested for a violent rape about 6 months after we'd met. I feel like I had a very lucky escape and I'm glad I trusted my instincts.

Fwiw, I never found anything about the adult I was concerned with, but I was able to make the case that there should be no contact between them and the child in question due to another reason and my organisation and the parents agreed. About a year later, I opened up the paper and saw he had been arrested for grooming a child online. So I felt very chuffed with myself that we did the right thing.

Absolute rubbish! I knew what he did, and where he lived. I mentioned asking about his car as he seemed to be into them when we’d been on holiday.

My questions would’ve been standard dating questions.

Not the worst first date but the worst first weekend away was in London. I had been seeing a guy for a month and he invited me to go away for the weekend. On the first evening he had magically forgotten his wallet.

Sounds like I've been "lucky". I've had someone whose breath stunk and who only talked about their ex and asked me what I should do about them... I suggested they went back to them as they clearly weren't over them.

Also had someone who seemed okay at first, a lot of fun, but when I mentioned my young daughter they said some things that were pretty fucking sick. I said "you shouldn't make jokes like that as I don't find them funny" and they said "who says I'm joking?". Thankfully this was before we met. I should have reported them, but I was more concerned with blocking them and erasing anything that had anything to do with them.

I also had someone who pretended they had cancer. That was pretty bloody low and it suckered me in as I never thought anyone would stoop to that level. They also turned out to be married with kids.

Oh and I had someone else who I eventually discovered was still living with their (apparently very jealous partner) and who seemed to want me to be a bit on the side.

Aside from that I've had way too many people who sent messages that made them sound like they were 13 year olds ( "I fink u r grate. lol")

However, I also met my current partner through OLD. To be fair that was at the point where we had both decided to quit the whole thing and said "do you just want to chat?". That was 16 years ago and we've been happily married the last 14.

"Rachael" has the hairiest of hands methinks.

This desire for a third-person perspective with his own wife seems to me indicative of a possible porn addiction.

maybe, I know he watches porn, but not that regular I would have called it an addiction. It keeps things interesting for sure 😊

@Northernparent68

If you asked, what he did, what car he drove and where he lived I can see why he thought you were interested in his money.

Batshit crazy you think you can't even ask what job someone does on a date...

Nah that's just a cuck fantasy. Not particularly unusual or recherche.
DH, likes a tinned syrup sponge put on his back while I smack his arse. 💁🏼‍♀️

of course, tulipmouse, you can ask what someone does for a living, but to ask that as well as where they live and about their car is a bit suspicious

I had a guy confess on a first date that he had done time in prison and had very recently been released! He was living in especially built flats for ex prisoners.I can't remember what he said he was in for - fraud or something- but I felt quite freaked out especially when he laughed and said 'Don't worry its not murder'. He was a weird guy anyway and I was pretty young. I got the bus in the wrong direction then backtracked later. Never saw him again thankfully.

Ok. male perspective here.

Over the last nine months I’ve had the pleasure of meeting the following:

1. My first date from OLD last year seemed lovely and very sweet. She announced on the first date she’d only been single a week and her husband of 30 years had been having an affair for the last 3 years. She wanted revenge and I was the chosen man. I didn’t but she definitely needed a bit of time.

1. Second dater. Fab night out. Came back to mine as we’d been chatting a while. Revealed she was “technically still married” when she got back to mine. Also - she had a daughter that she’d never mentioned (not a problem to me but she hadn’t mentioned once).

Third. On the day of matching. “Can I just come over and do some heavy petting with you?”

Forth. “I’m not ready for dating as it’s too soon, I’m just putting the feelers out”.

etc. …

it’s bloody hard work. And many are either not ready to date, wasting time or just playing games. Thousands of matches but nothing has come of it.

I’m single, fit/healthy, tall, got my shit together and I’d class myself as a decent well brought up bloke in my 40s. Im looking to date and hopefully settle down with someone. It’s probably the most soul
destroying experience I’ve ever done and I’m over it. It’s a waste of time, money and life.

can we just go back to meeting in a bar?

*fourth

Re asking about car/job etc. most women and that question quite early in.

i’d say about 80% ask questions about your wealth and income. It’s standard.

Men are so fucking weird.

That’s too broad a statement based on my experience.

I’d say every gender has their own idiosyncrasies.

I’ve met weird, desperate, abusive and horrid. A couple of nice ones too.