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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Relationship ending, on group holiday

54 replies

NeedAHand88 · 03/03/2023 03:34

I'm on a holiday with friends (all couples, in a villa). My 5 year relationship is ending and I need to somehow hold it together for 2 more days. I'm devastated. Nothing major has happened, he's selfish and a bit of a dick, I put up with too much and explode when I can't take it anymore. He puts on such a great front, everyone absolutely loves him and I'll probably lose all my friendship circle now (they were all my friends to begin with so it will hurt).

He does nothing at home, contributes to no bills, i fund our whole lifestyle and generally carry all the burdens. He's carefree and cheerful and everyone loves him. I'm the working bitch who doesn't have as much time and energy for people.

We should have ended this like 2 years ago but life stuff got in the way so it's a long time coming.

Due to age and health issues I realistically won't have a chance at a family anymore. I live on a small island so no immediate dating opportunities. I'd essentially need to move back to mainland UK to be able to start dating again, not that I even want to right now.

I just need a hand hold. I'm so lonely right now.

OP posts:

5128gap · 03/03/2023 18:13

Dudum · 03/03/2023 08:38

"You could always end it, go home early and pack his shit up. The friends, still in holiday mood will cluck around him and one will offer him a bed. Might be the quickest way to get rid of him."

Wtf? You write some absolute tripe @gamerchick but this is ridiculous. Women "cluck" now do they? And regardless of their upset friend and their partner they just keep clucking until they've slept with the nearest single bloke.

I read this to mean all the friends, male and female will fuss (cluck) and sympathise with him if the OP 'abandons' him and offer him a bed at theirs after the holiday is over so there's no faff about him having nowhere to go..?

NotStayingIn · 03/03/2023 18:51

I do completely agree that you need to break up with him, but if I was one of your friends, I do think I would slightly wonder why it would have to happen on this holiday.

I know that sounds awful! But if you say you've been feeling you've needed to do this for 2 years, why would my holiday be the time you decide to do it?

I'm more leaning towards what someone else said, kick back with a wine and book, do things you want to do, and dump him as soon as you get home.

DPotter · 03/03/2023 19:25

@Farastrawberry
You need to start your own thread so you can receive comments appropriate for you

Mari9999 · 04/03/2023 01:05

People who are in your orbit may be willing to be supportive, but they do not always want to know the particulars of your relationship.

For people who want to support you , it is sufficient to say that " we are breaking up." If they care about you they know that separation and or divorce are difficult to navigate and they will be there. They may not care who paid what, who did what, etc. They are there because you are going through a difficult time. If they like him, they may be equally willing to help him through this difficult time. They may not appreciate either of you disclosing details that they may legitimately feel are none of their business. Find a therapist to disclose the intimate details of your breakup , and use your friends as a source of positive energy and spring boards to help you move on to your new life.

Your true friends won't care why its happening; and
they will be focused on helping you get back on your feet. They will have little interest in revisiting all of his transgressions. If they know that he is an affable but lazy user, they won't need a catalog of his many faults to confirm what they have long known.

Even your closest friends may not want to hear a recitation of his sins, but they may be willing to take positive steps to help you get your life sorted.

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