Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Proposal - looking for opinions

41 replies

Navigatingthroughlife · 01/03/2023 17:49

I know everyone’s different but I’m curious what everyone thinks. How long should you be with someone before a proposal?

OP posts:
Blondbombsite · 01/03/2023 17:52

I think it varies greatly based on how old you were when you met, if you already have children etc.

Generally if you’ve met after early 20s, neither have been married or have children before then I’d say no sooner than a year and not longer than 5. Just a very rough rule of thumb though.

Dzogchen · 01/03/2023 17:54

Nearly 21 years, exactly.

MrLbz · 01/03/2023 17:57

I don’t think proposals just come out of the blue. You need to discuss and align on your future plans.

cassiatwenty · 01/03/2023 17:58

3 years

SpringleDingle · 01/03/2023 18:03

Hopefully indefinitely as I don’t want to get married again!

InstagramBitchWife · 01/03/2023 18:04

8 years here.

cassiatwenty · 01/03/2023 18:05

InstagramBitchWife · 01/03/2023 18:04

8 years here.

I love your username 👍😎

Original poster
Navigatingthroughlife · 01/03/2023 19:23

Thanks guys I’m definitely curious as to what people think as myself and one of my mates were discussing it earlier and we said the same depends when you met etc for example meeting late teens would expect a much longer wait than late twenty’s earlier thirties etc!

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 01/03/2023 19:28

My friend was with her now husband 6 months before he proposed, married by 18 months together. Been 12yrs now and very happy and 2 kids later. I think it really varies

floodbez1878 · 01/03/2023 19:34

Totally varies. I met my husband at 33, he was 27, he proposed after 10 months, married 8 months later and very happily married for 7 years with kids now.
My sister met her husband at 16, proposed after 10 years, married a year later and married for 13 years.
We got the impression people thought we were rushing it but we are rock solid!

Northlights22 · 01/03/2023 21:00

my then boyfriend proposed after 9 months of dating.
i met my now husband when I was 35 and he as 43. At this point in life you tend to know what you want and need.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 01/03/2023 21:47

7 years, house, baby, dog, no proposal 😃

febbabies2023 · 01/03/2023 22:22

God I'm nearly at 9 years without a proposal 😂😂

2 kids, a cat, a mortgage together, not too sure what he's waiting for tbh! 👀😂

Hbh17 · 01/03/2023 22:24

For relatives of mine, it was 25 years.

Hbh17 · 01/03/2023 22:24

For relatives of mine, it was 25 years.

Johnisafckface · 01/03/2023 23:56

I think it depends. But to me after 2-3 years is good timing.

Slimjimtobe · 02/03/2023 00:00

We were just over a year (both were 30)
married a few months after as we didn’t live together due to working in two hours apart

it suited us and we are married over 12 years

but I would say the norm is two but then what is the norm these days - I am surprised so many still get married and have the big white day when they are already married in a sense with kids etc

OldFan · 02/03/2023 00:23

I think 18 months is about the right length of time to find out enough about someone to decide you could risk marrying them.

quietnightmare · 02/03/2023 00:25

She is the factor for me

If I met my future husband at 15 I'd be happy waiting easily 10 years

But

If I me my future husband at 35 and no kids yet I'd want a proposal around the 2 year mark

quietnightmare · 02/03/2023 00:26

She is the factor for me. *

quietnightmare · 02/03/2023 00:26

AGE AGE AGE NOT SHE

xfan · 02/03/2023 07:05

Most relationships end, a proposal is hardly a sign of longevity.

Original poster
Navigatingthroughlife · 02/03/2023 07:05

quietnightmare · 02/03/2023 00:26

AGE AGE AGE NOT SHE

😂😂 completely agree! I love hearing everyone’s stories so thanks guys!

OP posts:
Binfluencer · 02/03/2023 07:09

You can ask him whenever you like OP, but I really wouldn't bother, marriage is a mugs game for women

pinkstripeycat · 02/03/2023 07:10

Definitely depends on the people.
We’d been dating 5 weeks when DH proposed. He was in the army so I only saw him at weekends. Married a year later (left to him it would have been 4 months later). Married 23 years.
DSis actually married 6 months after meeting her DH. Both their 2nd marriages and they’ve been married 16 years