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Original poster

Proposal - looking for opinions

41 replies

Navigatingthroughlife · 01/03/2023 17:49

I know everyone’s different but I’m curious what everyone thinks. How long should you be with someone before a proposal?

OP posts:
pinkstripeycat · 02/03/2023 07:13

Oh we were late 20s

Thefailinghousewife · 02/03/2023 07:16

My husband proposed to me almost immediately (we used to work together so knew each other ages before a couple!) then properly proposed at 7 months. We married after 2 years. I’m in my 40s and we both just KNEW and were solid. I’d panic a bit if our 20 year old made the same decisions though, so I reckon it is an age thing.

Ginger1982 · 02/03/2023 08:25

We were early 30s and he proposed after we had been together almost two years.

trustfall · 02/03/2023 10:18

I was with DH for 5 years when he proposed. Married at 6.5 years together. Been married just over 3 years. Got engaged at 23 married at 25.

mindutopia · 02/03/2023 10:39

I think it depends on your relationship and where you are in life. Dh and I were together 2.5 years in our mid to late 20s. We got married after 3 years together. We knew very early on though that this was it for us and as it was a LDR, we really needed to move in the direction of marriage if we wanted to be together due to immigration being much more tricky if you aren't married. We've always had a really solid, happy relationship and it's stood the test of time, so obviously we got it right. Would I have planned to marry anyone else I'd previously dated after only 2.5 years? No, I would hope not because they were messy relationships.

zonky · 02/03/2023 10:56

There is no way of predicting whether any relationship will work out our not. People can and do change their minds, have their heads turned, get bored of each other etc. go with the flow (unless you have children in which case you need to try and minimise the risk to them and the upheaval of a new relationship).

MrsRandom123 · 02/03/2023 10:57

I was with my husband 2.5 years - we married 18 months later (so just over 4 years together) we were 24 & 29 & bought our house just after we got engaged. 3 kids & married 15 years now.

my sister met her boyfriend at 23 - didn’t get engaged for 8 years. That was in 2021 & the wedding isn’t until 2024. They bought their house last year, have no kids & are both 32 currently.

Everyone is different, my husband being a bit older had a good job & some savings & has built a good career (self employed) i graduated at 21 so was earning decent before it where as my sisters fiancee went to uni at 25 as a mature student so that impacted financially & couldn’t buy anywhere & my sister has changed jobs a few times. Their lives are completely different to mine & my husbands but neither one is bad or wrong or better.

I’d have married my husband after 6 months as i just knew. I think within 3 years is reasonable & don’t think i’d have been happy waiting more than 5 but it depends on age, jobs, stage of life, finances i think.

WandaWonder · 02/03/2023 10:58

6 months, no idea what is normal that is juat what happened to me

Hiddenvoice · 02/03/2023 10:58

I think it depends when you first meet. I was with dh from when we were quite young so got engaged after 7 years but my friends who were older when they met their partners got engaged after a year or two. I think it rarely comes out of the blue though and the couple have spoken properly about what they want for the future.

Whataretheodds · 02/03/2023 10:58

This is a bizarrely 1950s question.

Do you mean 'how long do you think you need to be with someone before you know whether or not you want to marry them?'

I think a surprise proposal, regardless of how long you've been together, is creepy. How do you know you're on the same page if you haven't talked about it?

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 02/03/2023 11:00

Navigatingthroughlife · 01/03/2023 17:49

I know everyone’s different but I’m curious what everyone thinks. How long should you be with someone before a proposal?

When you want to propose, & you believe the time is right for both of you.

There is no Approved Timeline.
Have you been with them long enough to have been through thick & thin, seen each other at best & worst?
Are you making shared & joyful plans for future travel, careers, cohabitation?

Do you want to marry him/her?
Then propose.

Rainbowqueeen · 02/03/2023 11:01

If you’re both over 25 when you start dating then 2 years.

savethatkitty · 02/03/2023 11:11

I know a girl who waited 10 years. Secretly, I thought he'd never propose. Turns out he was waiting until he was ready to have children. She was happy to wait....Everyone is different. Everyone has different ideas/expectations

Situaciones · 02/03/2023 15:00

A year

ItsaMetalBand · 02/03/2023 16:19

9 years before engagement for us. We started going out when we were both turning 30.

Original poster
Navigatingthroughlife · 02/03/2023 18:15

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 02/03/2023 11:00

When you want to propose, & you believe the time is right for both of you.

There is no Approved Timeline.
Have you been with them long enough to have been through thick & thin, seen each other at best & worst?
Are you making shared & joyful plans for future travel, careers, cohabitation?

Do you want to marry him/her?
Then propose.

Show quote history

Love this! Just for context I wasn’t asking for myself 😂 it was just a girly chat and was curious thank you guys!

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