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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Accused of Cheating. Then Dumped By Text

59 replies

neverknowwhattoput · 26/02/2023 21:27

Hi everyone! I am new here and would love some advise as I am a bit heartbroken and need some support. And to be honest, I just need to get this out of my system.

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. We were seeing each other almost everyday and it was going great. He was talking about futures, marriage, kids, moving in with each other etc.... and I wanted it all with him and started to plan for it.

Fast forward to this month, I went on holiday with family (This was planned before we met and he was okay with it) But when I came back, he seemed off and distant. Then yesterday I get a text saying .... I've heard you had a great time on holiday with another guy. We are over. Don't contact me ever again.

I am so blindsided. I have never even looked at another guy since meeting him let alone cheated on him! I tried to tell him this and he just replied. Leave me alone. Then blocked me.

I'm heartbroken. I have no idea where he's got this idea from. He's been cheated on in the past and I've always made sure to reassure him I would never, ever do this. I've been hurt too and we've always had such an honest relationship.

I have no idea what to do. Not to toot my own horn, but I'm literally the most softest, kindness women you could ever meet. And he loved that about me. How could he think I would do this? Do you think there is something going on that I don't know about? I just don't understand how you can go from loving someone to cutting them off so abruptly.

OP posts:
Littleflowerseverywhere · 27/02/2023 16:33

Guys not right op. He’s got major major issues.his treatment of you is cunty. I’d assume he’s met someone else and just love bombed you and is now moving on, or he has extreme mental health issues round jealousy ], delusions and insecurity. Either way you’ve dodged a bullet

Littleflowerseverywhere · 27/02/2023 16:35

CatalinaV · 27/02/2023 13:50

I think you should wait for some days and after send him a message (maybe from another number) saying to him something like "Everything is in your imagination. You are behaving extremely unreasonable. Will be waiting for you response for the next 7 days. If you don't respond will have to move on"
Sometimes people have issues with separation (I mean the fact that you left for holidays) and overreact.

Please don’t do this, don’t contact him again, he’s not right. You need to stay away.

this is how you end up in an abusive controlling relationship and not allowed out the house. You see this behaviour. Get treated like shit and go back in begging for more like this poster is suggesting .

Spottycarousel · 27/02/2023 16:43

You dodged a bullet big time! He wanted an excuse to end it and the easiest thing was to blame you. Horrible man with deep rooted issues. It's upsetting but not your fault.

Spottycarousel · 27/02/2023 16:44

CatalinaV · 27/02/2023 13:50

I think you should wait for some days and after send him a message (maybe from another number) saying to him something like "Everything is in your imagination. You are behaving extremely unreasonable. Will be waiting for you response for the next 7 days. If you don't respond will have to move on"
Sometimes people have issues with separation (I mean the fact that you left for holidays) and overreact.

For God sake don't do this. You would be walking right into his hands (and power,). Let him go and move on.

NowAAT · 27/02/2023 16:57

Eyesopenwideawake · 26/02/2023 21:35

He's met someone else and is projecting the blame onto you. It really isn't you, it's him. Don't give him the satisfaction of even asking for an explanation of his shitty behaviour.

That's all it is really.

TangledUpInDreams · 27/02/2023 17:04

neverknowwhattoput · 27/02/2023 09:29

Thank you everyone. You are helping me massively. I really appreciate your words. ❤

I am currently in the anger stage at the moment. I am angry at him, and angry at myself for believing his bullcrap.

I am going to take this relationship as a massive lesson. Right now, I feel like I'll never want to, but if I do eventually date again, I will know some warning signs to look out for and I will not trust so quickly. I feel a bit naïve. I have never heard of this love bombing or future faking before, but will watch out for it in the future.

You’re strong enough NOT to chase him actually! And thank goodness for that. 5 months is no time at all - you hardly knew him. He’s shown you who he is. Believe him.

Onwards and upwards! Flowers

magma32 · 27/02/2023 17:24

Yetanothernamechangeagain · 26/02/2023 22:17

Be very wary if he does get back in touch. This could just be a ploy to control you

Was just about to say this. Be careful if he comes back OP.

SpringGreens23 · 27/02/2023 18:59

So many red flags. Love bombing (moving way too fast) followed by controlling paranoia and silent treatment.

If you were still together I'd be suggesting a Claire's Law application.

firstmummy2019 · 27/02/2023 20:22

Never contact this man again. He will contact you, mark my words. If not now, by the 3 month mark. His ego won't be able to stay away. He will try and reel you back in. The best revenge is apathy.

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