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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How often do you see your parents with the kids?

35 replies

Katlow · 24/02/2023 10:42

Just that really - how often do you see your parents with your DC.

I live 5 mins away from my mum and have a 2 year old, we see her once every 2 weeks hereabout, not through my lack of trying but because she's always busy. I'd love a closer family unit and I'm finding myself a little disappointed with the lack of contact she has with DS. I just want to gauge whether I'm expecting too much, starting to think that I might be.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 24/02/2023 10:43

I’m NC with my mum and she isn’t allowed around my dc. But MIL we see about once every 6-8 weeks. She lives about an hour away.

DWSDB · 24/02/2023 11:30

My mum and dad live five minutes away and they see my son on average around twice a week if say. They might collect him from school once and see us both once a week too. I know it’s different for different people x

BridieConvert · 24/02/2023 11:32

I am currently on maternity leave and eldest isn't in full time nursery yet so we go to see my mum & stepdad every Tuesday for lunch and spend the afternoon there. We live 20-30 mins away.
PILs live 5 mins away and we tend to see them once or twice a week, usually for tea. MIL is off on a Monday so comes round here to take baby for a couple of hours while I take the toddler to playgroup to spend time with her.

user1492757084 · 24/02/2023 11:33

We see each other every week but sometimes not for a fortnight. We are 1 hour and 15 minutes away.

LetThemEatTurnips · 24/02/2023 11:34

I used to go to my parents one Saturday each month when the kids were younger.

LetThemEatTurnips · 24/02/2023 11:34

Other bits on as hoc basis but that was my baseline.

Bodybags · 24/02/2023 11:36

Once maybe twice a year.
we live 5 minutes away but neither of my parents have any interest in my kids or me.

Once a year only because I feel obligated to invite my mother to Christmas dinner as no one else will.

callmesophia · 24/02/2023 11:36

Most days tbh. They live right next to my youngest children's school, so will often do school runs etc. Eldest child walks back from secondary school to their house. Then I will chill there with the kids for an hour or so, and go home. We're in comms a lot, often go for little spontaneous days out. Yesterday for example picked my dad up and we all visited a castle. It's a very similar story with my in laws, who live about 10 mins away. Go round on a Sunday for dinner. Spend afternoon walking round their village.

My family are 'our village'.

Santa24689claus · 24/02/2023 11:36

Usually see mine once every two weeks as well, but to be honest they're not really interested in my kids or me so not sure why I bother.

Paperexcelandpens · 24/02/2023 11:39

I live 10 minutes away from my parents and see them once every couple of months on average. I'm happy with that.

teapotfullofsquash · 24/02/2023 13:49

Hardly ever unless I bother. That's with both sides. And they both live in walking distance. Can't force what isn't wanted so I've given up trying

WeightoftheWorld · 24/02/2023 14:00

About once a week, occasionally more, often less because DM is immunocompromised and my kids are always ill. My DF works away sometimes too so see a bit less of him. Like you we live a few mins walk from my DPs.

Bunbuns3 · 24/02/2023 14:13

I think generally speaking, people have become more selfish and insular. I see my parents 1-2 times a week on average. They are a 10 minute drive away. My children are 1 and 5. I don't think they would really want to see us anymore than that, but would be available if I was stuck for anything.
My Dp's family don't want to see us atol. We have tried to make an effort but they have no interest, which is awful for my children. However my eldest daughter does have Godparents that live 3+ hours away, they visit regularly and they love having us too. Sometimes families fail and there is literally nothing you can do sadly.

Scarecrowrowboat · 24/02/2023 14:53

Twice a week usually. My mum is childcare a day a week and then we usually go out somewhere for a wander another day. She lives a 40 min drive away.

Copasetic · 24/02/2023 14:55

My mum died when I was 26 and with a 2 year old. We would see her nearly daily and I'm sure that would have continued. We live 5 minutes away.

Firsttimemum120 · 24/02/2023 15:05

my mum supports me with childcare so I see her anywhere between 2-4 times a week and sometimes 2/3 times the same day as we pop in when passing or I help her out with picking things up.

we have my grandad and that’s as far as a male figure goes. I don’t take her to see her other nan and neither of us have dads his dad never been around don’t know who he is and mine is dead.

back when I was young I’d never see my grandparents unless I was taken to them and that’s how alot of the older generation still are which I understand and agree with the thing that’s annoying is my place is baby proofed there’s isn’t 🤣😂

Iamafaithful · 24/02/2023 15:48

My mother lives a 20 minute drive away and hasn't seen my kids in over a year. She was invited at Christmas but didn't come. I've learnt that you can't make someone have a relationship with you if they're just not interested and I mostly accept it now.

LadyJ2023 · 24/02/2023 16:28

My parents and all my siblings all live within a ten minute drive of everyone so everyday someone's popping in or we are popping in or a quick phone call and defo my mum be here if she can and my dad if he not at work.Our 4 adore family and we them.

wishuponastar1988 · 24/02/2023 16:34

My mum sees my baby around once a month as we live 90 miles away. We speak everyday tho and do FaceTime. She see's my nephew and niece who live in the same town about twice a week and has my nephew for tea every 2 weeks and overnight once a month.

TwinkleToes84 · 24/02/2023 16:48

We see my parents once per week and DH parents two/three times per week generally. Wouldn't have it any other way

poppy865 · 24/02/2023 16:51

MIL every week numerous times a week - sometimes not all of us together though.

My mother once a year if that.

bluesky45 · 24/02/2023 17:07

Mine see my kids once a week, they pick up from school. Tbh, I don't see them much myself but everyone gets on well.

Zola1 · 24/02/2023 17:10

Partners mum lives abroad, we see her twice a year but that means 2 x 2-3 weeks of her living with us which can be a very intense way to get your MIL hours!
Mine is about 40 min away, I see her about every 2 weeks because we both work full time

hiredandsqueak · 24/02/2023 17:15

My dd and dgs aged 3 live five minutes away. In term time as he goes to pre school I see them most Saturdays. In school holidays I provide childcare so see him more often then. I do invite them for "family dinner" after pre school a couple of times each half term because dgs loves the chance for a get together with us all.

CeliaLia · 24/02/2023 17:17

DPs live a 2 hour flight away and DM comes to stay with us for 3-4 days every 6 to 8 weeks. We go stay with them for about a week to 10 days two maybe three times a year. We see a little less of DF due to his work but we face time every other day.

We are NC with DHs side of the family and haven't seen them in about 10 years - they live about 30mins away.