The past year has been a nightmare - in Spring 2022 Husband admitted that he had a cocaine addiction after I discovered (accidentally) that he had been lying to me about his income.
At the time, I hit the roof and told him to leave, but he won me back round with promises to change, telling me his addiction began during lockdown and depression regarding a health condition he has, but he would stop if it meant losing me and our 2 young daughters. I relented as I didn't want to break our family up.
Fastforward to Winter 2022 and he was clearly using again, late nights, sleeping all day, comedowns, money disappearing. He admitted to me that he was using 'occasionally' to take the edge off his seasonal depression, but his behaviour suggested it was more like twice a week at least.
His friend slipped up one day and mentioned that my Husband owed him more money than I thought (due to 'old' coke debt - I was aware of this debt but neither he or Husband would disclose the actual amount owed) I then learnt it was around £2k.
When I questioned his friend further (Husband wasnt present when I did this) he said Husband had recently paid £600 towards said debt from recent temporary work. I realised my Husband must have lied to me about his earnings again, as he told me that he had only earnt £350 from said work.
I confronted him, he denied this and swore "on my life, your life and our kids lives I only earnt £350 from that job" I asked him to show me his bank statement for proof and he became annoyed, saying he wasn't going to show me "on principle" and "do you really think I'd swear on your lives if I was lying?!"
I said that I appreciated he wouldn't feel great about me questioning him, but I needed to see proof in order to build my trust back up and it shouldnt be an issue if he had nothing to hide. He continued to say no and that he shouldn't have to. Followed by "if this is how it's going to be from now on I don't think I can deal with this" and gave me the silent treatment for 2 days.
I know addicts lie , but I just cannot get over the fact he would swear on our children's lives.
It seems so obvious written down that he's lying - but when im face to face with him, he's so sincere he could convince me that the sky was green!
I've become obsessed with wishing I could see the bank statement so I could know the truth for sure, that he's sank as low as to swear on our kids lives - he adores them. However, the fact he refuses to show me should be all the evidence I need...