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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

His mother contacted me !!!!!!

38 replies

easypeeled · 20/02/2023 13:49

I broke up with my 50 year old partner recently.
I've posted about him before.
Regardless whether he was narcissistic or not, he was a selfish man who sloped off when I needed care and kindness. We did not live together.
He knew it all, talked at me, gave me parenting books as children should be seen and not heard of
Curse and was generally a shot father to his own kids and probably more interested in what I could bring to the table than what he could.
So I got rid of him.
He is tormenting me.
Flowers, emails, letters etc etc.
His last email ( he is now blocked) was all about how he is struggling and in a bad place.
This is largely because he has lost his murder with a purse and os still at home with his folks , on long term sick relish out a miserable life and basically lying in bed all day long.
Dr doesn't think he has depression but believes he's lost his mojo.
So ... his mother has contacted me telling me that she's sad we are over and hopes to see me again. That's she needed a chat as she is sad and that's she's worried about my ex partner, that he's not doing well at all. I've met her three times in total.
Part of me os worried. Part of me feels that this is manipulative .
Thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
easypeeled · 20/02/2023 13:54
  • murder= nurse 🤣🤣
OP posts:
Original poster
easypeeled · 20/02/2023 13:55

That was one big cluster of typos.. please excuse . Typed too quickly.

OP posts:
ShakespearesBlister · 20/02/2023 13:56

Definitely manipulative. Block both of them and move on. And please whatever you do, don't murder his purse! 🤣

Catoo · 20/02/2023 13:57

Ignore them both.
She wants rid of him too.
all my best wishes in finding someone fabulous soon! X

LilLilLi · 20/02/2023 13:58

Murder is never the answer OP 😉

Its manipulation, ignore and block. If she wants to help him she is free to do so. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

Jacqueline1985 · 20/02/2023 13:58

Sounds like a lucky escape. Block both and move on 💐

isthewashingdryyet · 20/02/2023 14:01

Block them both and move on, and refuse to accept any more deliveries, send them back. and tell the delivery person you think they are from your stalker if the delivery person won’t take them. It is true, he is stalking and harassing you.

Original poster
easypeeled · 20/02/2023 14:02

I'd murder his purse if it wasn't empty 😀

OP posts:
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 20/02/2023 14:22

She's not the slightest bit sad, she's annoyed that she thought she had finally got a chance to off-load the loser and now she's stuck with him again.

frozendaisy · 20/02/2023 14:36

Block run OP.

She is trying to offload him. Who can blame her? But she brought him up, I assume.

Not your problem.

Run!

80s · 20/02/2023 14:42

"I don't think it is in anyone's best interests for John's parents to get involved in his relationships. It was lovely to meet you last year, but that chapter of my life is over and I would not like to maintain any further contact. Best wishes, ..."

UncleHerbie · 20/02/2023 14:45

What @80s said. You’re well rid 💐

Newusername21 · 20/02/2023 14:47

@80s response above is perfect.
Sounds like you made the best decision.
How your eX deals with you ending the relationship is not your problem. Both he and his mother are trying to manipulate. Ignore them

beenwhereyouare · 20/02/2023 14:56

easypeeled · 20/02/2023 14:02

I'd murder his purse if it wasn't empty 😀

😂😂😂😂

LakeTiticaca · 20/02/2023 15:46

Ignore and block. Her 50 year old manchild is not your problem

JPG21 · 20/02/2023 15:58

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 20/02/2023 14:22

She's not the slightest bit sad, she's annoyed that she thought she had finally got a chance to off-load the loser and now she's stuck with him again.

THIS!

emptythelitterbox · 20/02/2023 16:00

80s response is perfect. Send and block her.

stripedsox · 20/02/2023 16:47

It's okay she'll mug him off on some other unsuspecting woman.
So glad you saw what he was really like.

Pinkbonbon · 20/02/2023 17:23

Another vote for using 80s message.

Ps, are you actually sure it's his mum messaging you? Could be him, pretending to be her.

It is common for narcissists to use other people to try and guilt and manipulate you though.

And either way, you've broke it off with him as he's a total monster so no one else's opinions matter, nor does what he nay or may not be going through. You're not his shrink, his nurse or...his girlfriend.

Screenshot any of his attempts at contact.
Of he funds another way to get in touch, tell him its harassment and any further contact will result in police involvement. And follow through with that if he does keep hastling you.

Refuse any gifts he tries to send.

2Rebecca · 22/02/2023 22:11

The relationship is over. There is no reason to talk to his mother. She can write to his GP if she's worried. All his moans are more self obsession and "poor me" stuff. It's not really about you. He needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and engage with life not hide in his bedroom.
Not your problem

Cleotolstoy · 22/02/2023 22:25

My ex dh got his mum to call his ex girlfriend after she broke up with him and plead with her to give him another chance. He was late 30s at this stage. These men seem to think they're great but have no self respect, it's an odd combination. It's completely unacceptable. You can wish him well but not want to have anything to do with him. I'd probably ignore her message. She's not actually interested in what you want at all.

WidthofaLine · 23/02/2023 03:39

They do that, involve their mother when trying to discard someone and involve their mother when trying to get back with someone.

Mommies boy !!!

StClare101 · 23/02/2023 04:17

I’d simply say “this is no longer any of my business. All the best”. Then block

2catsandhappy · 23/02/2023 04:24

I am fairly confident I recall your other posts about him. Grim reading. His mum must be retired by now and desperate for her own life.
You are doing her no favours by stringing her along. Cut the contact and stop giving her false hope.
You owe them nothing. Not even space in your head.

isthismylifenow · 23/02/2023 04:46

At first I thought murder with a purse was a phrase I didn't know. 😂 it even made sense in this context.

But yes, it's very manipulative if it is indeed his mother, but I'm wondering if it's him using his mum's phone. You are well shot of him OP, if this was his big plan for extra sympathy (either using his mum's phone or suggesting she messages you) it's failed miserably.

He gave you a parenting book....? Good lord, I hope you gave it back to him at high force .