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Original poster

Does having a one-night stand ever work?

34 replies

MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:19

I am bored on a work trip and have noticed a very attractive woman who works here. I have been happily married for years and have never cheated in any way. I have absolutely no idea even how to approach a woman, having been straight up to this point. I do suspect DH wouldn't mind if I told him as it would be with a a woman.

Any advice?

OP posts:
AlmostaMamma · 19/02/2023 13:27

Work in what way, exactly?

I do suspect DH wouldn't mind if I told him as it would be with a a woman.

Ask him first.

Pinkbonbon · 19/02/2023 13:29

Maybe phone back home and ASK your husband first.

'Hey, do you mind if I try to get off with a woman while I'm away?'

Otherwise, it's still cheating.

How do you know she likes women anyway though op? I mean I dunno what the stats are but...1 in 10 chance? Add on her also a. Being attracted to you and b. Being up for a one night stand...with someone she meets at work... that's about 1 in 100 surely lol.

category12 · 19/02/2023 13:29

Ever work in what sense? People have one-night stands.

If you genuinely think your dh will be fine with you pursuing a woman and having a night with her, ask him first.

Original poster
MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:31

AlmostaMamma I didn't really mean work with DH. I meant more if what I want can actually happen. I am very nervous about what she would say if I explained that I was married and really just wanted a one night stand. I am quite innocent so don't know if I would come across as a weirdo..

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:31

How do you know she likes women anyway though op? I don't !

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:34

Being up for a one night stand...with someone she meets at work... that's about 1 in 100 surely lol. 😭 I am sure you are right.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 19/02/2023 13:37

You get permission from your husband. Then tbh you don't even need to say you are married as you're never gonna see her again.

Unless you want to call him up and get him to tell her it's OK xD which would be fucking weird.Who the fuck wants that drama from a one night stand!

Just square it with your husband.

AlmostaMamma · 19/02/2023 13:50

I am very nervous about what she would say if I explained that I was married and really just wanted a one night stand.

She will almost definitely tell you to piss off.

Original poster
MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:54

Pinkbonbon I have his OK although not for actually spending the night with her. Just for the equivalent of a teenage fumble in the back of a car, whatever the hell that is here!

Unless you want to call him up and get him to tell her it's OK xD which would be fucking weird.😁I am definitely not going to do that!

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:55

She will almost definitely tell you to piss off. Thanks. That's my confidence shot.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:56

Then tbh you don't even need to say you are married as you're never gonna see her again.

I guess I would then need to take my wedding ring off....

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:57

*Then tbh you don't even need to say you are married as you're never gonna see her again.

I guess I would then need to take my wedding ring off....*

Or wear gloves 😀

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 19/02/2023 14:16

Why not just go up and have a flirt then? Most interactions of a flirtatious nature don't end in one night stands. Why does it have to?

Go up and tell her you think she's beautiful. Worst case scenario, you've made her day.
Well...I suppose worst case scenario she thinks you are creepy lol, but I'm sure she'll still take the complement.

AlmostaMamma · 19/02/2023 14:24

MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:55

She will almost definitely tell you to piss off. Thanks. That's my confidence shot.

You want honest answers, no?

This woman is going about her business and, from the info you’ve given, has exhibited zero interest in you. If some random person, male or female, wandered up to me and informed me they were looking for a one night stand, my response would be pretty brutal. Particularly as it sounds like this person is working.

Woman at work: exists and is attractive
You: I want to have sex with you, my husband is cool with it.

Outside of porn, there are very few positive outcomes to that scenario.

category12 · 19/02/2023 14:37

AlmostaMamma · 19/02/2023 14:24

You want honest answers, no?

This woman is going about her business and, from the info you’ve given, has exhibited zero interest in you. If some random person, male or female, wandered up to me and informed me they were looking for a one night stand, my response would be pretty brutal. Particularly as it sounds like this person is working.

Woman at work: exists and is attractive
You: I want to have sex with you, my husband is cool with it.

Outside of porn, there are very few positive outcomes to that scenario.

Show quote history

Well presumably OP wouldn't go in like that - who would?!

Nothing wrong in having a flirt and seeing if the other person is receptive, and seeing if it goes anywhere. Pick-ups on holiday are not usually assumed to be the beginning of great love affairs.

Best not to hit on staff working there, as it puts them in a very awkward position.

AlmostaMamma · 19/02/2023 15:22

category12 · 19/02/2023 14:37

Well presumably OP wouldn't go in like that - who would?!

Nothing wrong in having a flirt and seeing if the other person is receptive, and seeing if it goes anywhere. Pick-ups on holiday are not usually assumed to be the beginning of great love affairs.

Best not to hit on staff working there, as it puts them in a very awkward position.

Show quote history

I am very nervous about what she would say if I explained that I was married and really just wanted a one night stand

That’s a direct quote. She’a thinking about approaching someone at their work and saying some version of the above. I see quite a lot wrong with it, personally.

category12 · 19/02/2023 15:28

@AlmostaMamma Yeah, I don't agree with hitting on someone if they're working - especially if you're a customer/guest at the hotel or something and they're an employee there paid in part to be nice to you.

I just didn't think OP was being literal about going up and asking for a one-night stand 😂Bit on the nose.

Choconut · 19/02/2023 15:28

There's no reason a one night stand can't work, if that's what both people want - except in your situation where it very probably won't as there are about a million things that could go wrong with it.

Dery · 19/02/2023 15:41

Maybe I’m a prig but I think there’s something strangely entitled about your thinking here. It amounts to: I’m bored so perhaps I can hit on this very attractive woman who right now is just doing her job and seek sex from her. It’s likely she already gets a tiresome amount of that kind of thing from men without you adding to it. If you want to play around sexually, find out where the local places to play are. Don’t just pick on a woman going about her own business.

yousexybugger · 19/02/2023 15:50

MrsPotterings · 19/02/2023 13:31

AlmostaMamma I didn't really mean work with DH. I meant more if what I want can actually happen. I am very nervous about what she would say if I explained that I was married and really just wanted a one night stand. I am quite innocent so don't know if I would come across as a weirdo..

You would come across as sleazy and entitled to ask her to entertain you on the side. She's at work. Leave her alone. If you're that bothered find out online whether locally theres a bar where women meet each other. You sound naive as anything though and I don't think you and your husband have thought this through enough for it not to wreck your marriage.

AlmostaMamma · 19/02/2023 16:23

Dery · 19/02/2023 15:41

Maybe I’m a prig but I think there’s something strangely entitled about your thinking here. It amounts to: I’m bored so perhaps I can hit on this very attractive woman who right now is just doing her job and seek sex from her. It’s likely she already gets a tiresome amount of that kind of thing from men without you adding to it. If you want to play around sexually, find out where the local places to play are. Don’t just pick on a woman going about her own business.

ALL of this. Expressed just what I was feeling, thank you.

Tuilpmouse · 19/02/2023 20:05

I'm trying to imagine the responses of a man wrote this 😂.

Seriously OP, however hot you might be, the chances of this working are very low indeed. The fact that you complain that one post knocked your self-confidence shoes that you're really deluded. I sense you've watched too much porn for your own good!

By all means go for it, but treat it like playing the lottery... because the chances she happens to want a ONS with you given you've not yet even spoken aren't much higher than winning the jackpot!

AgentJohnson · 20/02/2023 03:18

If you aren’t out to mislead anyone why the fuck would you take your wedding ring off? If you’re after no strings anonymous sex than surely your workplace isn’t the place for that. Some people won’t have a problem with being propositioned but being hit upon by some random married woman from work won’t, unsurprisingly, float everyone’s boat.

Original poster
MrsPotterings · 20/02/2023 07:36

Go up and tell her you think she's beautiful. Worst case scenario, you've made her day.

Thank you, this is great advice. I don't know why I got my knickers in such a twist. We ended up having a drink in the hotel bar and she was really lovely.

You sound naive as anything though and I don't think you and your husband have thought this through enough for it not to wreck your marriage.

Why would it wreck our marriage? I will never see her again and OH is happy for me to have some non-emotional fun (not with a man though!).

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsPotterings · 20/02/2023 07:37

If you aren’t out to mislead anyone why the fuck would you take your wedding ring off? This was just in reply to a comment about not telling her I was married. I don't know why people get so cross!

OP posts:
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