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Original poster

Is this weird behaviour from my girlfriend?

32 replies

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 09:37

I have been with my GF for nearly 2 years and we live together.
We live in Newcastle and her family live in Liverpool.
She used to work in a pub in Liverpool 15 years ago and it was a small pub and she lived above it and was quite close to the landlady (mother figure )
Anyway she said last week "oh my friends dad has died-il have to go home to the funeral "
Now bare in mind this isn't actually a friend -it s a girl who used to get in the pub and her dad also used to drink in there and had a assigned seat.
She has never spoke to this friend in years,she's on her social media but that's as far as it goes.
Don't you think it's weird to take 2 days off work to go to a funeral of a man who drank in a pub you worked in 15 years ago ?
This guy has deffo died and I've seen texts between her and another friend saying we will have to go etc (bare in mind this other friend lives in same village )
I haven't said anything as I don't want to appear heartless but it's a bit ridiculous isn't it ?

OP posts:
Fmlgirl · 19/02/2023 09:41

No it’s not weird. Why do you even have a problem with this? What else are you giving her a hard time for? Can she do things on her own without you questioning it?

ZekeZeke · 19/02/2023 09:42

No different to attending the funeral of a neighbour from your hometown.
You sound unhinged and controlling.

Original poster
juliesphone · 19/02/2023 09:50

I found it weird travelling over 3 hours to a funeral of a man you don't speak too -who you used to serve in a pub 15 years ago
Fair enough if you live in the same city but not when you take days off

OP posts:
baileys6904 · 19/02/2023 10:03

You sound very controlling...

She wants to pay her respects. She probably wants to catch up with friends as well. Ultimately she could juts want to go there to buy some milk, it's nothing to do with you and certainly nothing you can permit or not

Getting massive red flags from you OP....

Weekenders · 19/02/2023 10:04

Scouse culture has significant Irish influences, and this would absolutely be expected behaviour in both Ireland and Liverpool.

You don't sound like you have you gf's best interests at heart, and seem creepy and controlling. Policing which funerals it's appropriate for an adult to attend is weirdo behaviour.

Original poster
juliesphone · 19/02/2023 10:30

She can do whatever she likes
My point is why would you travel over 3 hours to attend a funeral of someone she doesn't even know
That's my point
It's not a friend or relative
It's a random man from a pub
Hence me thinking there was more to it
She's free to do whatever she likes whenever she likes -as am I
Doesn't stop me thinking it's a bit odd

OP posts:
Notaboutthebass · 19/02/2023 10:37

I have a lot of people in my past from the pub that I've not seen for years. If one of them died that I used to talk to a lot, I would go to their funeral. Doesn't matter it was years ago, this man must have had an impact. It's normal.

Seaoftroubles · 19/02/2023 10:39

It's not odd OP. The only thing that's odd on here is your attitude!

ShakespearesBlister · 19/02/2023 10:41

But she doesn't know the man. I don't think I'd go to funerals for people I didn't know? Of course that would seem a bit odd.

Justmeandthedog1 · 19/02/2023 10:41

Yes. I’ve travelled to another country for the funeral of a person I’d not physically seen in years it’s called respect and support for the bereaved family. You might like to look those up.

Original poster
juliesphone · 19/02/2023 10:45

She doesn't know the man-that's my point
He used to drink in a pub she worked in
She knew his daughter -but they don't keep in touch at all.
She didn't even know she had kids now.
I'm all for showing respect to people/going to funerals etc
This could be a joe bloggs -he is that much of a stranger to her

OP posts:
Original poster
juliesphone · 19/02/2023 10:47

The icing on the cake was when her friend said he had died
"Oh god really-what was his name again ? Had he been ill"
That was the conversation on the phone to her friend.
That's why I find it odd

OP posts:
Naunet · 19/02/2023 10:48

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 10:47

The icing on the cake was when her friend said he had died
"Oh god really-what was his name again ? Had he been ill"
That was the conversation on the phone to her friend.
That's why I find it odd

So what though? Maybe it’s weird to some people, to others it’s not. Why does it matter?

Notaboutthebass · 19/02/2023 10:49

Yes, why not? Just accept that she's going. Why would you have a problem with it?

Original poster
juliesphone · 19/02/2023 10:51

I don't have a problem with it-it's barmy tho in my opinion.

OP posts:
Original poster
juliesphone · 19/02/2023 10:51

Her brothers grandma died in December-she didn't go to that funeral ...

OP posts:
Eleganz · 19/02/2023 10:51

Good opportunity to meet with family and I know that, depending on which community in Liverpool she is from, it can be quite normal for funerals be be larger community affairs.

Naunet · 19/02/2023 10:53

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 10:51

Her brothers grandma died in December-she didn't go to that funeral ...

So clearly you think she’s going there to cheat on you with someone, even though it sounds like she’s not seen this group of people in 15 years? Has she ever given you a reason to think she cheats on you?

Just4ThisThread · 19/02/2023 11:02

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 10:30

She can do whatever she likes
My point is why would you travel over 3 hours to attend a funeral of someone she doesn't even know
That's my point
It's not a friend or relative
It's a random man from a pub
Hence me thinking there was more to it
She's free to do whatever she likes whenever she likes -as am I
Doesn't stop me thinking it's a bit odd

What more do you think there is to it OP?

ZekeZeke · 19/02/2023 11:10

If you were a woman, poster's would usually say go with your gut instinct.
If you feel something just isn't right then maybe it isn't.
You think there is more to it-in what way?
Do you have any reason to think she has/is being unfaithful?

Original poster
juliesphone · 19/02/2023 11:10

I am a woman

OP posts:
Original poster
juliesphone · 19/02/2023 11:11

I really don't know what it is
Maybe it's because she hasn't got many friends here and wants to see her friends and using this funeral as a reason to go back
When she should just say she fancies going home
She has no emotional attachment to this man at al -

OP posts:
Notaboutthebass · 19/02/2023 11:11

You clearly have a problem with it if you're posting on Mumsnet.

Original poster
juliesphone · 19/02/2023 11:12

One of her friend is a massive ....head and she's got health issues -I'm worried that she will do stupid things being around him and all the effort we've taken to get her Heath back on track and something bad might happen to her
I know I sound stupid but I worry

OP posts:
Naunet · 19/02/2023 11:15

ZekeZeke · 19/02/2023 11:10

If you were a woman, poster's would usually say go with your gut instinct.
If you feel something just isn't right then maybe it isn't.
You think there is more to it-in what way?
Do you have any reason to think she has/is being unfaithful?

Jumping to conclusions there! OP never said she was a man.

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