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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Is this weird behaviour from my girlfriend?

32 replies

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 09:37

I have been with my GF for nearly 2 years and we live together.
We live in Newcastle and her family live in Liverpool.
She used to work in a pub in Liverpool 15 years ago and it was a small pub and she lived above it and was quite close to the landlady (mother figure )
Anyway she said last week "oh my friends dad has died-il have to go home to the funeral "
Now bare in mind this isn't actually a friend -it s a girl who used to get in the pub and her dad also used to drink in there and had a assigned seat.
She has never spoke to this friend in years,she's on her social media but that's as far as it goes.
Don't you think it's weird to take 2 days off work to go to a funeral of a man who drank in a pub you worked in 15 years ago ?
This guy has deffo died and I've seen texts between her and another friend saying we will have to go etc (bare in mind this other friend lives in same village )
I haven't said anything as I don't want to appear heartless but it's a bit ridiculous isn't it ?

OP posts:

Naunet · 19/02/2023 11:16

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 11:12

One of her friend is a massive ....head and she's got health issues -I'm worried that she will do stupid things being around him and all the effort we've taken to get her Heath back on track and something bad might happen to her
I know I sound stupid but I worry

What do you mean by that? Drugs? Is that what your fear is? You need to be honest about what your concern is here rather than pretending it’s all just about it being weird. You clearly think she’s up to something else, so what is it you’re worried about?

Original poster

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 11:18

Yes it is -well in the back of my mind anyway
And using this funeral as a excuse to go back and have some sort of blow out with this friend.
I've never met him and he's probably a nice guy -but always off his face
Just not my type of person m

OP posts:

ZekeZeke · 19/02/2023 11:20

Naunet · 19/02/2023 11:15

Jumping to conclusions there! OP never said she was a man.

Show quote history

Apologies, I did make assumptions.

ZekeZeke · 19/02/2023 11:22

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 11:18

Suggest to her that you go along to support her and see what her response is.

Naunet · 19/02/2023 11:24

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 11:18

Has she shown any signs of wanting to take drugs again? How long has she been off them? Have you spoken to her about your concerns?

Ultimately, if she’s going to do it, she’s going to do it, there’s nothing you can do to stop her. Maybe this trip will be a bit of a blessing in disguise, it’s a test as to how committed she is to not taking drugs. If she does take them, then you decide where you go from there, if she doesn’t, you’ll know you have nothing to worry about. Will she tell you if she does or not?

GreyCarpet · 19/02/2023 12:45

Does it matter if its am excuse to have a blow out with her old friend?

There are people I used to he friends with in a similar capacity who I haven't seen for 20+ years. I'd take a chance to go on a bit of a blow out with them if it arose.

If she behaves in a way you don't like, ypu can end the relationship. What you can't do is stop her from going or give her a hard time about it.

If you don't trust her then you shouldn't be with her.

Nanny0gg · 19/02/2023 17:06

juliesphone · 19/02/2023 10:45

She doesn't know the man-that's my point
He used to drink in a pub she worked in
She knew his daughter -but they don't keep in touch at all.
She didn't even know she had kids now.
I'm all for showing respect to people/going to funerals etc
This could be a joe bloggs -he is that much of a stranger to her

So presumably she served him? So chatted to him? He clearly went in a lot. Therefore she wants to pay respects. And if it's anything like the funeral I went to recently, catch up with people not seen in a very long time. Which is nice.

Does it really affect you if she goes? No. So stop fussing about it

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