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Original poster

Remote control idiot. New hobby ideas please

40 replies

Catoo · 17/02/2023 23:17

I should probably break it off with OH but I’ll miss him and need some distracting new hobbies.

OH works hard and is always so tired. Tonight put on a film at his place, he’s asleep in 10 mins. Happens often. Wouldn’t mind but he keeps the remote control. I’m not allowed to have it. Even when he’s asleep. He tucks it next to him so if I try and get it he wakes up. I can’t adjust volume or flick around the programmes while he snores away. Tonight I had enough and went to get the remote, he woke up, blocked it with his arm and said ‘no’.

He also cheated a few weeks ago. Had sex outside somewhere on a night out.

Fair to say I need some distracting new interests to avoid a relapse. Maybe some wise words also…

Thanks for reading! :)

OP posts:
ZaphodDent · 17/02/2023 23:52

If he becomes more sharing of the remote control would you be willing to give it another try? (obviously he'd continue to cheat but you can't have everything).

Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 00:28

ZaphodDent · 17/02/2023 23:52

If he becomes more sharing of the remote control would you be willing to give it another try? (obviously he'd continue to cheat but you can't have everything).

Well maybe! You think I should have one more shot at negotiating about the remote? :)

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 18/02/2023 03:09

Fuck this OP.
Life is too short.

You can remote up on your mobile you know.

Too tired to watch a film but enough energy to cheat fuck outside?

Get your own place, own remote, he can cook and wash his own shit then, I presume you do all this for your controlling cheating prince?

BlastedPimples · 18/02/2023 06:25

He cheated and you're staying.

The remote is the least of your problems.

Smooshface · 18/02/2023 06:36

Can you not just leave when this happens? I think i would just go home.

BrightSaturn · 18/02/2023 09:06

I do think you should leave him because he sounds like a controlling and gross pos, but in the meantime just to fuck with him please order another remote and secretly change the channel every time he puts something on.

Seaoftroubles · 18/02/2023 09:25

This can't be real... Surely no one would set the bar that low!

Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 11:57

frozendaisy · 18/02/2023 03:09

Fuck this OP.
Life is too short.

You can remote up on your mobile you know.

Too tired to watch a film but enough energy to cheat fuck outside?

Get your own place, own remote, he can cook and wash his own shit then, I presume you do all this for your controlling cheating prince?

Thanks yes I do have my own place. He says his sofa and TV is better (!?) so we mostly hang out at his place.

You are correct it is too short. Also starting to wonder if he’s cheated a lot more than I know. He only told be about the outdoor incident because he caught something. Feeling quite foolish as I often drop him off to meet his friends on his nights out. They probably all know about it.

Don’t seem to be able to let him go as he’s the first man I’ve loved in many years.

OP posts:
category12 · 18/02/2023 12:06

If this is for real, just dump him already.

He's having unprotected sex with other people and he's an arsehole.

You can get over "love".

Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 12:18

category12 · 18/02/2023 12:06

If this is for real, just dump him already.

He's having unprotected sex with other people and he's an arsehole.

You can get over "love".

Sadly yes it is.
I am not sure why I tried to let it go. I think we were both so worried about the potential consequences that we kind of leant on each other to get through it. Sounds crap writing it down. But there were other things going on too that we were supporting each other with.

I need to find a backbone!
thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 12:21

BrightSaturn · 18/02/2023 09:06

I do think you should leave him because he sounds like a controlling and gross pos, but in the meantime just to fuck with him please order another remote and secretly change the channel every time he puts something on.

Ha ha thanks BrightSaturn. This made me lol which I need right now.
I have a similar remote for my TV. I’ll take it round next time I go, see if it works

hoping I won’t go though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 12:22

Seaoftroubles · 18/02/2023 09:25

This can't be real... Surely no one would set the bar that low!

:(

OP posts:
category12 · 18/02/2023 12:25

hoping I won’t go though.

It's your funeral (for your self-esteem). Or binfire.

Remote control idiot. New hobby ideas please
Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 12:25

Smooshface · 18/02/2023 06:36

Can you not just leave when this happens? I think i would just go home.

Yes last night when he said ‘no’ I got up and left. I said we needed to talk when he finishes work today. I’m not sure there’s too much to talk about. Maybe I should just text.

OP posts:
Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 12:27

category12 · 18/02/2023 12:25

hoping I won’t go though.

It's your funeral (for your self-esteem). Or binfire.

🤣 accurate thanks

OP posts:
Seaoftroubles · 18/02/2023 12:42

O.P, he sounds grim, please dump him and work on getting some boundaries!

Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 12:51

Seaoftroubles thanks.
I am now working out how best to do this. I might text him this afternoon. Rather than wait until he’s back from work.

OP posts:
growgrowinggrown · 18/02/2023 13:01

Christ you seem so resigned to this being your life, where is your self respect?

He cheated a few weeks ago and you're already curled up on his sofa having a snuggle as if it was nothing.

Give your head a wobble and snap out of it. Would you be happy with your friend /sister / daughter putting up with this bullshit? Find that fire in you and fuck him off.

Chiconbelge · 18/02/2023 13:03

He sounds horrible and there’s a whole world of great hobbies if you want them - but at the moment just staying at home and watching what you want to watch sounds better than wasting your precious time on him

Dery · 18/02/2023 13:14

The cheating was almost certainly not his first rodeo. The fact that he caught something means he’s happy to take risks with his and - more importantly - your sexual health. I think the word ‘love’ is often confused with sexual attraction/longing etc; it’s not at all obvious what there is to love about him. Anyway, you can continue to let him treat you like shit or you can decide you won’t.

altmember · 18/02/2023 13:17

Catoo · 18/02/2023 12:51

Seaoftroubles thanks.
I am now working out how best to do this. I might text him this afternoon. Rather than wait until he’s back from work.

I wouldn't even text, ghosting him completely is more than an appropriate way to deal with it.

Seaoftroubles · 18/02/2023 13:25

Catoo, glad to hear you plan to get rid. A short text should suffice ' Hi remote control idiot, as you obviously have no respect for me and think it's OK to cheat and have unprotected sex with random women l don't want to waste another second of my precious time in your company. Its over.'

ButterflyFlicker · 18/02/2023 13:40

"He keeps the remote control" when he is asleep

For that alone, I would end the relationship today !

Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 13:56

Seaoftroubles · 18/02/2023 13:25

Catoo, glad to hear you plan to get rid. A short text should suffice ' Hi remote control idiot, as you obviously have no respect for me and think it's OK to cheat and have unprotected sex with random women l don't want to waste another second of my precious time in your company. Its over.'

An excellent first draft thanks 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 14:00

ButterflyFlicker · 18/02/2023 13:40

"He keeps the remote control" when he is asleep

For that alone, I would end the relationship today !

….And in such a way that he wakes up if I try to reach it.

You are correct. Should have been a red flag the first time he fell asleep with it!

OP posts: