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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Remote control idiot. New hobby ideas please

40 replies

Catoo · 17/02/2023 23:17

I should probably break it off with OH but I’ll miss him and need some distracting new hobbies.

OH works hard and is always so tired. Tonight put on a film at his place, he’s asleep in 10 mins. Happens often. Wouldn’t mind but he keeps the remote control. I’m not allowed to have it. Even when he’s asleep. He tucks it next to him so if I try and get it he wakes up. I can’t adjust volume or flick around the programmes while he snores away. Tonight I had enough and went to get the remote, he woke up, blocked it with his arm and said ‘no’.

He also cheated a few weeks ago. Had sex outside somewhere on a night out.

Fair to say I need some distracting new interests to avoid a relapse. Maybe some wise words also…

Thanks for reading! :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 14:02

altmember · 18/02/2023 13:17

I wouldn't even text, ghosting him completely is more than an appropriate way to deal with it.

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Yes this sounds good tbh. I don’t know what to say anyway. And he needs no explanation really. It’s obvious

OP posts:
CrystalCoco · 18/02/2023 14:03

When you have 'the chat' this evening to tell him he's dumped, take the remote control with you when you leave.

Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 14:36

CrystalCoco · 18/02/2023 14:03

When you have 'the chat' this evening to tell him he's dumped, take the remote control with you when you leave.

Ha! I love this idea…. 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 14:38

BrightSaturn · 18/02/2023 09:06

I do think you should leave him because he sounds like a controlling and gross pos, but in the meantime just to fuck with him please order another remote and secretly change the channel every time he puts something on.

🤣🤣 another great suggestion! Should have done this ages ago !

OP posts:
Original poster
Catoo · 18/02/2023 14:40

Catoo · 18/02/2023 14:38

🤣🤣 another great suggestion! Should have done this ages ago !

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Two replies sorry! Didn’t think the first posted but I see it did. Losing it today

OP posts:
Original poster
Catoo · 19/02/2023 21:23

Well an update on this is neither of us has texted. Going to try and stay strong and keep it that way. Thanks to everyone who gave advice. Hard to hear some of it but it’s helped my resolve. I’ll re-read some of the above if I feel like caving! X

OP posts:
SeulementUneFois · 19/02/2023 22:15

Best of luck OP!
I know how hard it is...
There are many exciting and lively hobbies but in the meantime why not download Duolingo. Or Coursera.
And spend (waste ) some time on them.

Zanatdy · 20/02/2023 06:11

dump this loser, no-one deserves to be treated with such disrespect

Original poster
Catoo · 20/02/2023 13:29

SeulementUneFois · 19/02/2023 22:15

Best of luck OP!
I know how hard it is...
There are many exciting and lively hobbies but in the meantime why not download Duolingo. Or Coursera.
And spend (waste ) some time on them.

Thanks yes it is difficult. He sent a message at midnight last night. Didn’t say anything useful. I haven’t replied because even that’s insulting right at the end of the weekend. Maybe thinking I’d be so happy to hear from him I’d forget the last conversation. I have a really important day today as well and half wondering if he wanted to somehow derail that by starting a chat so late?

Actually I started learning Italian on Duolingo a couple of years ago I had forgotten! Maybe a good time to revisit and maybe book a trip ! X

OP posts:
Original poster
Catoo · 20/02/2023 13:31

Zanatdy · 20/02/2023 06:11

dump this loser, no-one deserves to be treated with such disrespect

Yes I’m currently just not communicating at all to avoid being dragged into any conversations. So this is day three of no contact from me. Small steps. Thanks x

OP posts:
fluffylampbear · 20/02/2023 13:45

WTF is this post all about? Controlling the remote control!? Cheating? What a twat. Sorry OP, you need to leave.

Original poster
Catoo · 20/02/2023 14:14

fluffylampbear · 20/02/2023 13:45

WTF is this post all about? Controlling the remote control!? Cheating? What a twat. Sorry OP, you need to leave.

I know sorry! I wasn’t going to make it about the cheating but I guess it kind of is. I think I just needed some outside perspective and some strong words I can reread each time I’m tempted back in.

I love the stupid twat. But I’ll get over it I guess! Thanks x

OP posts:
SeulementUneFois · 20/02/2023 20:34

OP
If you need some motivation I'm on Duolingo learning Italian....verrrry slowly

Seaoftroubles · 20/02/2023 23:11

Good luck OP, well done for not replying, just stick to no contact one day at a time. You can do it!

CandidClarisse · 20/02/2023 23:16

I'd take the remote and throw it at his head personally

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