I'll start this off by saying I find communication with him really tricky sometimes, especially when it comes to money and the house. I'm trying really hard to be clear and kind in what I say but it seems to either piss him off or falls of deaf ears.
This has been going on for about a month, probably longer if I'm honest. He's doing next to nothing. When he does do stuff it's like the most basic half assed effort. He cuts corners everywhere and it just feels like it's easier to do it myself than walk around picking up after a grown man. I sometimes wonder if that's the objective - do such a shit job thar I don't ask him to do it again.
He also says the teenagers should be doing more and whilst I agree I know he's only saying that to deflect attention from him doing nothing.
He has a huge list of half finished DIY projects that are beginning to piss me off massively. Our loo won't flush without a wrench at the mo. I've offered to get someone in to fix it but no.....he's apparently got it covered. Just fucking fix it or let me pay someone 😤
I picked him up on it a few weeks back because I walked into an absolute shit tip on my return from work. I don't get home till 6.30 and then have to sort dinner for our 3 kids and get the youngest to bed ASAP. Instead I had to spend an hour cleaning up before I could even start dinner. Baby was screaming because he was hungry and tired and I was exhausted.
I tried to approach it in the nicest way possible and he was upset with me. He basically said he would never pick me up on why the house was so messy on his return home from work. I tried to be understanding of his feelings, however there's a difference that when he returns home from work around 10.30pm, he doesn't have to cook dinner, get a small child to bed and help older kids with homework. He then spent the rest of the evening and the next day being really meh and flat but when I asked him what was wrong said nothing.
Saturday evening I went out and left him with the kids. I put dinner in the slow cooker in the morning so he didn't have to worry about food and left the kitchen all clean. When I got home the whole of downstairs was a mess. Dishes all left on the side. Toys everywhere, Beer cans strewn everywhere. And when he was finished he took himself off to bed. It spoilt my evening and just made me feel really disrespected. When I said about the mess he said he'd do it in the morning, except I knew he wouldn't so I just cleaned it up Before I went to bed rather than add it to tomorrow's to do list! I should add I'm not fastidious about the house being clean. We have a very lived in home and it never looks immaculate but I'm beginning to realise that is in part due to the fact that I am working 3 days a week and doing all the housework!
I've asked him if he's OK mentally and he says yes. Ironically we're really good and open when it comes to talking about our wonky brains so I think he'd tell me if something was wrong.
He's still in bed now as I type this.....he commented this morning about how much better the baby slept last night but he'd rather waste the day in bed than get up.
All in all I'm bored of it. He's become so lazy and it's totally unfair. I was quite poorly with iron deficiency up until last week and since having treatment and beginning to feel better it feels like a green light for him to do absolutely nothing to contribute to the running of our house.
Most of this is a rant because I feel about ready to explode but equally this needs sorting because it's stupid and needs fixing. I'm just not sure how to approach it.