My DH never hears me speak

[Goandplay]

My DH probably has ADHD. Our child does and it clearly runs in the family.

My DH never hears me speak. I think is a mix of sometimes he is fixated on whatever he is doing and selective hearing. I think he has cancelled out my voice in his head. I am softly spoken but we will be side by side and he will what feels like ignore me.

I feel really lonely.

He is phone obsessed - he always has it in his hand and will obsessively Google everything. He cannot maintain a conversation he has no interest in and will often cut across me speaking (and other sometimes) with whatever has popped into his mind.

I don't know how to manage this. I've tried speaking to him and he just doesn't get it.

Also it's so hard not being able to have a passing comment on something and then having to repeat, then explain what it was related to. He will always seem confused with general chit chat but on the other hand will sit there reading his facebook out, or whatever Google has to say about an actor on tv while we are watching, fact about our local area...

I dunno, must be shit for him not being easily able to attend to things he needs to for a rounded life. And much more effortful for him to try and get it right. Great that he wants to change his phone use. I wonder if you could have a planned time when you chat and catch up, say over dinner, and then he has switch off time. Its a balance I think between the person with ADHD making more effort or using strategies, and others adapting. Otherwise the sufferer will end up really stressed and feel shit about themselves.

@Parisj seeing that the OP is texting her DH to remind him to pay attention to the conversation when he goes to see his own parents, I’d say she has done a lot of adjusting already.
I don’t like the way NT partners are always expected to do MORE to adjust to their partners so things are easier.

@Goandplay I hope this will work out well for you and he’ll be able to keep it up.