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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why would a male coworker keep looking at me?

57 replies

Dell873 · 12/02/2023 21:18

He's (42m) my (25f) bosses boss, we do talk sometimes but not alot as he's quite senior.

I've been paying attention to his behaviour the past couple of weeks as I grew suspicious.

When he's talking to my boss across the room he'll position his body in my direction. He'll walk past my desk when he doesn't need to. There's a big window at the end of a corridor which is right infront of my desk and he'll always look through at me when he walks past. He'll look through the office doorway when he walks past. He'll look at me when I walk into his office and when he walks into mine (they're open plan offices with 10 people in each) and he'll always look at me in meetings.

He will do all the above even if it means turning his body and head in the opposite direction, like looking back.

Why does he keep looking at me constantly? Is he seeing if I mess up so he can fire me?

OP posts:
Logburnerperils · 12/02/2023 21:42

He might start a thread asking why a woman at work keeps staring at him

Greentree1 · 12/02/2023 21:42

Sounds as though you are looking at him at least as much as he is looking at you. Try not to obviously look back, if he hasn't said anything incriminating leave it alone unless it escalates.

fruitbrewhaha · 12/02/2023 21:44

Well it could be a number of things. It may be your hair, or your clothes, or you. You could look over/ walk over and say “yes”, and then “oh I thought you wanted to speak to me, you were trying to get me attention?”

DramaAlpaca · 12/02/2023 21:45

Yep, faux naivete.

OP just wants us to confirm her suspicions that he fancies her.

Kate8990 · 12/02/2023 21:45

Why do you think he's staring at you?? You know why!! Why do men generally stare? lol. Sorry but it's obvious why. If you don't like it, look the other way.

Kate8990 · 12/02/2023 21:48

Also be careful. I had this at my last job and my boss pretended to be lovely and caring at first like he was just being helpful but he was a fucking slimy creep. Give him a wide berth trust me.

Irishwolfie · 12/02/2023 21:53

He’s probably wondering why you keep looking at him. That’s some hefty observations you’ve made, I’d have zero idea who was looking at me when I walked into the office because I’m not arsed who’s looking.

Maze76 · 12/02/2023 22:01

Dell873 · 12/02/2023 21:31

He seems quite geeky, like the type who doesn't know how to talk to women, so i don't think he'd be classed as a "player".

Oh don’t be fooled by the shy, geeky type.. it’s doesn’t mean anything.. my ex husband was just that and he cheated with his co - worker!

SeriouslyLTB · 12/02/2023 22:13

sammylady37 · 12/02/2023 21:28

Why does he keep looking at me constantly? Is he seeing if I mess up so he can fire me?

The faux naïveté is strong here

Right?! 1/10 for Bambi here.

AllOfThemWitches · 12/02/2023 22:14

TheSnowyOwl · 12/02/2023 21:19

Why does he keep looking at me constantly? Is he seeing if I mess up so he can fire me?

Yes, probably.

🤣🤣

GoodChat · 12/02/2023 22:16

He's probably conscious of you staring at him constantly.

Hazelnup · 12/02/2023 22:21

Ugh he fancies you, just ignore it of if you have any friends there get someone else to tell him to stop perving at the juniors.

What a cliche. In case you didn’t know:

  • yes he is married but that doesn’t mean he’s faithful
  • yes he is married but that doesn’t mean he’s getting sex, he may not have had any for years
  • he will never leave his wife for you (but he may promise to)
  • he won’t promote you if you flirt with him (but he may promise to)

🙄

Vallmo47 · 12/02/2023 22:25

Stop looking at him OP. Problem solved. 😂

maddy68 · 12/02/2023 22:32

I think you are being massively paranoid. Everyone looks at each other

ElliF · 12/02/2023 22:32

TheSnowyOwl · 12/02/2023 21:19

Why does he keep looking at me constantly? Is he seeing if I mess up so he can fire me?

Yes, probably.

Roflmao!
Yep. You nailed it.

LynneBenfield · 12/02/2023 22:34

Back again?

Palomabalom · 12/02/2023 22:38

LynneBenfield · 12/02/2023 22:34

Back again?

Has this been posted about a few times before? 🤔

Anyfeckinusername · 12/02/2023 22:54

You're doing your fair share of staring yourself.

AnotherDayOfSun · 13/02/2023 00:18

Are you "the new girl" by any chance? There is a certain type that always gets excited about the (usually much younger) "new girl." Yes, they are usually married, too. Best to pay no attention. Just behave professionally, and show that you have integrity and self respect, and don't play any silly staring games with someone who is already married.

ElliF · 13/02/2023 00:27

There seems to be an undertone here of validation seeking and immaturity.
Is this a child posting as an adult? Or a newspaper looking for a story?

Courgettecity · 13/02/2023 09:58

Perhaps you look like his mum OP and he just can't help looking because you're like twins.

Or you could know full well what is happening, you're enjoying it, joining in, but trying to be, 'oh so innocent' so that when you do get involved with this older married man you can claim it was a shock to you, and therefore not your fault. Until he dumps you and returns to his wife before starting on the next new girl.

GoodChat · 13/02/2023 10:03

Maybe you look like his psycho stalker ex and he's trying to determine whether you're her or not.

Wishimaywishimight · 13/02/2023 10:10

You really want everyone to say he fancies you don't you? Honestly, all this nonsense about him positioning his body towards you makes you sound like a 12 year old with a crush. Stop looking at him and get on with your job.

ElliF · 13/02/2023 14:47

Maybe he’s horrified at the the letching and drooling and doesn’t know how to handle it, but has to keep checking that he’s not imagining it, and that she’s still watching him wherever he goes.

It funny how some people never figure out how to grow up.

Nooneknowswhatgoesonbehindcloseddoors · 02/07/2023 01:10

Dell873 · 12/02/2023 21:29

Well I'd assume it's relationships with coworkers? Can I change the topic?

He is married

He might be trying to work out why you keep staring at him and wandering into his office.