Very unhappy with my husband

[Zamummy]

I am currently pregnant and deeply unhappy with my husband. Any advice?

What do you want people to say with no info? Leave him if you’re that unhappy. If not, stay with him?

He cheated and I cannot trust him. I am his second marriage in 4 years

I think you need to admit to yourself that you made a very poor choice in marrying him and end it.

Have you been able to discuss your unhappiness with your husband? Do you think.you can make things better realistically?

@Zamummy half a dozen threads on the same topic.
it must be horrible for you but can you think of a way forward or out of this marriage?

Yeah ... make the right choice now and leave him.

If you can't trust him, then you have to leave.

Have a termination if it's viable & leave. Don't tie yourself to this man forever

I have and he keeps playing things down.

I don't want to terminate. I will keep my baby 🙏

It's so hard to make a choice right now. I will see when the baby is here

Second marriage in four years??? How long did the first marriage last and when did you come on the scene? If he was cheating with you sadly he will cheat on you. Don’t stay with a man who shows you no respect

He kept it secret?

The OP is from a culture where men can have multiple wives. On her other thread she says he lives in another country (with another wife?) and he has cheated on her multiple times. Mumsnet is not going to be able to fix this for you, OP. You know who your husband is. He isn't going to change. You can't change him. You can only change your own life.

Thanks for the useful info @BadNomad. @Zamummy why did you agree to marry this man? Is there any realistic way out for you now? All sounds fairly miserable for you.

When he plays it down he is showing he doesn't take your seriously, and he is not going to change.

Do you have other support?
It may be better to leave before you baby arrives, set yourself up independently and if he wants to be in your life and be a father he can demonstrate that while you live separately. Having a child makes things so much harder in all relationships but in cases like yours, you are even more trapped once you have a baby with him and he is likely to treat your even worse.

I didn't say he has a second wife. I am his only wife.

He wasn't cheating with me during his first marriage. I think his first marriage lasted a few months...

Do you want to stay with him or not? Your 1 sentence answers are frustrating

That's the problem. I don't know 🤷‍♀️

Not a great decision getting pregnant to a bloke with his track record is it?!!!!

Whats preventing you from leaving and being a single mother?

I would leave. He has no respect for you and you have no trust in him. That is not the way to live.
If you plan to continue with the pregnancy where are you in relation to your family/support network? If you moved for him I would move back BEFORE the baby is born. This is important if he has any interest in the baby as he can stop you moving away once baby is born.

@Zamummy a man who plays things down when you raise your concerns may be doing a form of gaslighting. This can really affect your capacity to trust your own judgement and make decision-making feel very hard. Your confusion and difficulty in thinking clearly about this decision may be a sign that you have been undermined by him, that he is not a healthy person for your to be around. Does any of this feel like it might be the case?