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Original poster

Would you be annoyed at this?

56 replies

MimiLou1 · 09/02/2023 23:12

DH was away for a week on a lads holiday, which I wasn't happy with in the first place as he takes the piss with his many hobbies and hobby related weekends away and holidays.

He got back on Tuesday. Announced straight away that he had a 'cold' and has been in a foul mood since, sitting around with a blanket and doing nothing in the house or for the DC. He's so grumpy it's ridiculous.

Meanwhile I'm working full time from home, and doing everything else. We have two kids, both younger secondary school age.

Whenever he's been on a holiday or weekend away he's always apparently ill and/or exhausted when he gets home and is moody because of this. He won't even communicate properly and is doing an irritating voice like he's dozing off halfway through a sentence.

Apparently I'm in the wrong for being annoyed.

OP posts:
Siameasy · 09/02/2023 23:16

Yah I’d be annoyed what’s he actually doing to help? Sounds more of a hindrance or like an extra child.

rosyvalentine · 09/02/2023 23:18

He's probably hungover and you're definitely not in the wrong here. I would be seething. A whole week away with the lads is taking the piss if you have kids! Can you go out and do something enjoyable for yourself/meet friends tomorrow or at the weekend and leave him to look after the kids?

DogSaysWoof · 09/02/2023 23:19

DH was away for a week on a lads holiday, which I wasn't happy with in the first place as he takes the piss with his many hobbies and hobby related weekends away and holidays

Leave.

You don't need any further reason that what you've put here.

Or, put it another way.

Stay with him and in 10 years time when nothing has changed, you'll be older, more resentful, more hateful and a husk of who you really are.

Unicorn55 · 09/02/2023 23:22

My ex was like this, turned out he was on cocaine with his mates, always came back with a "cold" (blocked nose from all the snorting) and moody through the come down of being off it again.

Strugglingtodomybest · 09/02/2023 23:23

Do you get to go off for a week at a time too?

It sounds like he's taking you for granted.

Yahyahs22 · 09/02/2023 23:32

Unicorn55 · 09/02/2023 23:22

My ex was like this, turned out he was on cocaine with his mates, always came back with a "cold" (blocked nose from all the snorting) and moody through the come down of being off it again.

This

Original poster
MimiLou1 · 09/02/2023 23:41

Hmmm that's interesting about the Coke. He's done Coke very occasionally in the past that I know of, but that was over 15 years ago.

I could go off for a week on my own I suppose, but he wouldn't take proper care of the kids, the house would be a mess, and we can't really afford for me to do that, not if we want a family holiday this year, too.

Plus, I actually like and want to do things with the kids and as a family. He just seems to want to do stuff on his own all the time.

I forgot to add too that he's also cross because the house got messy whilst he was away as I was juggling full time work, kids, all household stuff, walking our two dogs etc.

OP posts:
Seasider2017 · 09/02/2023 23:42

Put your foot down and say NO more week away
2 nights max, and if he comes back moody and doing nothing round the house then he doesn’t go again

defo hung over traits, thinks he deserves a rest after being on a binge
or
weed or stronger drug and moody as shit on the come down

OldFan · 09/02/2023 23:45

He doesn't sound like a nice guy and it also sounds like drugs to me OP. It's a comedown or that he's worn out from the drugs/alcohol. That would explain the voice too.

Ihatethenewlook · 09/02/2023 23:46

Unicorn55 · 09/02/2023 23:22

My ex was like this, turned out he was on cocaine with his mates, always came back with a "cold" (blocked nose from all the snorting) and moody through the come down of being off it again.

I was also going to say this. It’s not a ‘normal’ weekend away where he’s come home tired and hungover for a day or so. He’s on a massive come down from a full week bender, apparently to the point where he can barely speak a single sentence. I’m surprised the op hasn’t got onto this with her prior experience with this.

Ihatethenewlook · 09/02/2023 23:47

Cross posted with the two above me that unfortunately recognise the signs of cocaine abuse.

hayleyyyyyy · 09/02/2023 23:52

My first thought when I read the post sorry OP.

SnoringMicrophone · 09/02/2023 23:54

Unicorn55 · 09/02/2023 23:22

My ex was like this, turned out he was on cocaine with his mates, always came back with a "cold" (blocked nose from all the snorting) and moody through the come down of being off it again.

This. Exactly this.

Strugglingtodomybest · 09/02/2023 23:56

I forgot to add too that he's also cross because the house got messy whilst he was away as I was juggling full time work, kids, all household stuff, walking our two dogs etc.

You deserve better than him OP 💐

MistyFrequencies · 09/02/2023 23:59

Yeah cocaine/drugs. As well as being an arsehole. Do you want to stay with him?

mumtobeauts · 10/02/2023 00:00

I'd be annoyed

GoodSister · 10/02/2023 00:04

Unicorn55 · 09/02/2023 23:22

My ex was like this, turned out he was on cocaine with his mates, always came back with a "cold" (blocked nose from all the snorting) and moody through the come down of being off it again.

My first thought as well, my ex was the same

Original poster
MimiLou1 · 10/02/2023 00:08

Would Coke cause a sore throat, too? He claims his throat is hurting lots with the cold he apparently has and says he's sure he has tonsillitis. I've said to go online and request a phone call from the GP but he won't!

OP posts:
MumOf2workOptions · 10/02/2023 00:11

Don't even waste your energy arguing with him just tell him it's over he sounds a total waste of space!!

You deserve better and so do your kids

determinedtomakethiswork · 10/02/2023 00:17

He won't want to go near the doctor if he's been doing coke. Do you actually like him? Are there benefits to living with him that aren't just financial?

SnoringMicrophone · 10/02/2023 00:17

Yes 🙁 Sore throat another classic sign xxx

Pansypotter123 · 10/02/2023 00:19

I forgot to add too that he's also cross because the house got messy whilst he was away

He's the gift that keeps on giving isn't he.

What's he like when he isn't hung over and got a light cold? Does he do his fair share of the child care and house work and admin?

What is your financial situation - you say that you work so you'll get a holiday with your children (and him presumably?).

How much does he put in the pot financially, and what is your housing position - mortgage, rent? Whose name is the house in etc?

Just returning to the first sentence I emboldened - how dare he! I hope those words made you feel your anger enough to do something about him.

randomusername2020 · 10/02/2023 00:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn at the poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Annabananna1 · 10/02/2023 00:28

My first thought was he's got another woman. Are you sure he was away with the lads?

Reason being, when my H used to sneak of 'with the lads' / see OW, he'd alway come back and hate me for no reason, I'd irritate the life out of him, he'd barely communicate and everything was a chore.

Regardless, it sounds shit, you'd be better off without a man who is this way

AtrociousCircumstance · 10/02/2023 00:30

Why the fuck are you accepting this shit.

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