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Original poster

Is it a good enough reason for cheating?

72 replies

Zamummy · 07/02/2023 23:00

Hello everyone, my husband cheated on me with multiple women when I was pregnant. He said " I cheated because you were not interested in sex". What do you guys think?

OP posts:
InLoveWithPandora · 08/02/2023 00:08

Zamummy · 07/02/2023 23:50

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I will try to give as much information as possible. He also said " you are the chosen one and so many girls envy you( talking about his admirers). They wish they had your place" does he not sound narcissistic?

Sorry but I had to laugh at the absurdity of that statement!

There are women out there jealous of you having a cheating scumbag of a partner? I find that extremely difficult to believe.

Kick him to the curb and concentrate on you and your baby - you don't need this idiot taking up headspace.

TicketBoo23 · 08/02/2023 00:17

Zamummy · 07/02/2023 23:50

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I will try to give as much information as possible. He also said " you are the chosen one and so many girls envy you( talking about his admirers). They wish they had your place" does he not sound narcissistic?

But he'd be cheating on them if they temporarily weren't into sex for any reason so ..... How would they want to be in your place.

Personally I think he'd be cheating even if you were having sex with him regularly. He's just that type.

Re the other women he also sounds delusional, incredibly arrogant and yrs, possibly a narcissist.

I wonder how he'd feel if you told him if he's ever sick for example and can't do something you want him to do that you'll go straight out and cheat on him? Hmm

unsync · 08/02/2023 00:23

Your mother is right. He needs to go, if he's got that many admirers, he won't be homeless 🙄

Bigminnie1 · 08/02/2023 00:47

I am so sorry that you are
Going through this but your husband is absolutely disgusting. No decent man behaves like this ever.
He has no respect for you and you deserve so much better than this vile human being, as does your child.
Please leave him.

BrightSaturn · 08/02/2023 01:00

I don’t think this thread is real. Apologies if I’m wrong though.

Eyerollcentral · 08/02/2023 03:14

Zamummy · 07/02/2023 23:50

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. I will try to give as much information as possible. He also said " you are the chosen one and so many girls envy you( talking about his admirers). They wish they had your place" does he not sound narcissistic?

For Christ’s sake stop trying to psycho analyse him. He cheated on you immediately after marriage and most likely before whilst you were pregnant with his child. Your marriage is a farce. Is there any reason why your self respect and self esteem is so low? Tell him asap it’s over and you are out.

greenspaces4peace · 08/02/2023 03:30

from the OP's other post on ideal weight
"DH is 6'2, muscular and good looking. He doesn't go unnoticed by women and they love flirting with him. He told me once " women love your husband". I always took it as a joke..
during my first pregnancy, I saw texts by 2 different women he met while I was away. I was around 6months pregnant and had such a shock! My baby never turned and had a c-section. After I got the baby, I found more proof on his phone with recordings from different women. We separated for awhile and got back together... I felt bad for my child growing up without his father and wanted just one father for all my kids in the future. Second pregnancy now and I still cannot trust him"

nothing you can say will justify his behavior.

he's a liar and will always lie.
it's unhealthy for you to stay with him. does your midwife know about this additional stress?

Shoxfordian · 08/02/2023 05:07

Wake up and divorce him op

Dery · 08/02/2023 05:18

“For Christ’s sake stop trying to psycho analyse him. He cheated on you immediately after marriage and most likely before whilst you were pregnant with his child. Your marriage is a farce. Is there any reason why your self respect and self esteem is so low? Tell him asap it’s over and you are out.”

This. Your mum has told you to end it. She know what’s what. Your H is a selfish, cheating bastard - who cares what he says? He may be good looking on the outside but he’s ugly on the inside. Stop listening to him. Get rid. You’re much better off alone than with this guy.

Shouldbesleeping8 · 08/02/2023 05:18

Yuk. He sounds gross. Get some self respect and leave

emptythelitterbox · 08/02/2023 05:25

Ask him to leave already.

You think the same excuse would fly if you cheated on him if he became impotent?

Lozzerbmc · 08/02/2023 05:38

where is the support to you when you are pregnant…?. There is no reason ever to cheat. the fact that he has cheated and thinks you should be grateful for being the “chosen” one is utterly appalling.

listen to your mum. Make a life without him. You’re in for more misery if you stay as he’ll do it again and again…

Original poster
Zamummy · 08/02/2023 06:20

greenspaces4peace · 08/02/2023 03:30

from the OP's other post on ideal weight
"DH is 6'2, muscular and good looking. He doesn't go unnoticed by women and they love flirting with him. He told me once " women love your husband". I always took it as a joke..
during my first pregnancy, I saw texts by 2 different women he met while I was away. I was around 6months pregnant and had such a shock! My baby never turned and had a c-section. After I got the baby, I found more proof on his phone with recordings from different women. We separated for awhile and got back together... I felt bad for my child growing up without his father and wanted just one father for all my kids in the future. Second pregnancy now and I still cannot trust him"

nothing you can say will justify his behavior.

he's a liar and will always lie.
it's unhealthy for you to stay with him. does your midwife know about this additional stress?

Only my mum knows about my situation. I am ashamed to tell other people. I can hardly think rationally right now. During this second pregnancy I just get angry with him and can go weeks without talking to him when I think about everything he did to me

OP posts:
BigSwingingJeremyClarkson · 08/02/2023 06:32

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ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 08/02/2023 06:45

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Cheating isn't ok in any circumstances. If you're unhappy, try to fix it or leave, don't chest.

billyt · 08/02/2023 06:45

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Are you saying cheating is ok as long as you've put the years in?

If so, you're as big an arse as the twat you've named yourself after.

Cheating is NEVER ok. It's one of the reasons it's called cheating!!

BigSwingingJeremyClarkson · 08/02/2023 07:15

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GoldDuster · 08/02/2023 07:26

Ring your mum and tell her she's right, you were wrong, and you need her help to get you out of there asap.

Accept all the help she will give you, get away from him, and engage with some therapy or other professional help to move past this.

Don't accept what hes telling you, it's utter rubbish.

GoldDuster · 08/02/2023 07:27

@BigSwingingJeremyClarkson

Is that actually you, Jeremy?

sweetsuzie · 08/02/2023 07:29

‘You are the chosen one’

look I bet you are lovely and a way nicer person than him

but him saying that makes you realise how he sees himself. As bloody Kublai Khan and his concubines.

He sounds unsalvagable

Tuilpmouse · 08/02/2023 08:06

Zamummy · 07/02/2023 23:34

I think he is still cheating! His WhatsApp has a code and he told me there would be more transparency. He is still liking one of the girls content on social media

I'd be amazed if he wasn't... He clearly feels entitled to cheat repeatedly, even blames you for it, and then got away with it scot-free last time. Why wouldn't he?

Unless you're wearing him out sexually with multiple shags a day, I'd bet good money that was shagging around.

Seriously OP, you need to build up your self-respect and leave this twat.

Tuilpmouse · 08/02/2023 08:11

WinterDeWinter · 07/02/2023 23:50

He’s saying he only lcares about you if you provide sex, isn’t he.

Even then I doubt he'd be satisfied. He'd still be looking for shags elsewhere. He doesn't sound the type who would be satisfied by regular sex with one woman.

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 08:14

Let his admirers have him

Tuilpmouse · 08/02/2023 08:15

Unless you're wearing him out sexually with multiple shags a day, I'd bet good money that was shagging around.

Actually scrap what I just wrote... Don't be fooled into thinking that giving him lots of sex will stop his philandering. Based on what you've written, it very likely won't. Sex with one woman (you), even lots of it and even if it is great, won't be enough... it will bore him. He'll still want the thrill of pulling new women regardless of how much sex her gets with you.

Lucyccfc68 · 08/02/2023 08:18

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Is it a happier life though?

Trust and respect are 2 of the key ingredients to a happy life and relationship. If you can’t trust your other half and they have no respect for you, because they are off shagging other women, then to say your life is happier is rubbish.

You haven’t actually built anything. You haven’t built love, respect, trust or happiness.