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Original poster

Should I tell him?? Or leave it?

50 replies

maybabymama · 07/02/2023 16:32

Okay it's a bit of a messy one but I'll go straight to the point.
There's a guy I have a crush on and when I met him (2yrs ago) we were both in relationships so nothing happened. Then recently he broke up and I broke soon after.
My uncle is our mutual "friend" and I asked him how he's doing and mentioned that I thought he's a really good guy.
My uncle told me that when he told him that I've broken up he said something along the lines of "I would absolutely date her and give her whatever she wants" but my uncle said to him to "leave it" as I'm his niece and he is his good friend and it will be weird.
Now my uncle said that before he told him that I've broken up he met this girl on Badoo for sex and fun but that he's been spending some weekend over at hers etc.
I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM. Like I want to reach out to him directly but at the same time he's in some sort of relationship right? Am I being desperate?

OP posts:
Ausse · 07/02/2023 16:34

No, reach out!

PollyAmour · 07/02/2023 16:43

It's none of your uncle's business who you date. Tell him to keep his beak out and contact this guy. Ask him out for dinner and take it from there.

Original poster
maybabymama · 07/02/2023 16:45

@PollyAmour I was thinking whether he's right or not but it really isn't any of his business right?! Even if they're good friends

OP posts:
LeilaGetTheHose · 07/02/2023 16:51

Go for it! My friend told me not to reply to a guy, he's now my partner of 16 years and father to our child. I always wonder how my life would have turned out if I had taken her advice as I love my life. Sometimes other people don't know best, my friend turned out to be one nasty person that I cut out my life a couple of years later.

Original poster
maybabymama · 07/02/2023 16:54

@LeilaGetTheHose your story sounds amazing! I'm really happy it all worked out for you! I have this weird fear of him telling me he's serious with that girl but then at the same time if I won't try reaching out I will not know.

OP posts:
whatevenissleepanymore · 07/02/2023 16:56

I vote reach out!

Life's to short to always wonder what if. What's the worst that can happen?

Original poster
maybabymama · 07/02/2023 17:01

Now the problem is that he's not active on socials so I would have to reach out to him via text. I can get his number that's not a problem but isn't it too much? 👀

OP posts:
hidingbehindascreen · 07/02/2023 17:07

Do it! What have you got to lose?

Just a friendly text... 'hey, heard you are single, coincidentally I am too, fancy going for a drink?'

flabbygoldfish · 07/02/2023 17:09

Reach out - & your uncle needs to back off.

whatevenissleepanymore · 07/02/2023 17:42

maybabymama · 07/02/2023 17:01

Now the problem is that he's not active on socials so I would have to reach out to him via text. I can get his number that's not a problem but isn't it too much? 👀

Absolutely not! Judging by the comment that he made to your uncle I can imagine that he would feel quite flattered to have you reach out.

Go get him girl Wink

Original poster
maybabymama · 07/02/2023 17:56

I must add that he's my friends ex. I'm not in contact with her anymore and that's another reason why I'm stopping myself. Probably should've mentioned it at the beginning 🥲

OP posts:
Swimawayyy · 07/02/2023 21:51

Do it! Be brave xx

Original poster
maybabymama · 08/02/2023 12:51

Gonna try my best to get his number now and go from there 👀

OP posts:
Swimawayyy · 09/02/2023 12:55

Please keep us updated

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 09/02/2023 12:58

maybabymama · 07/02/2023 17:56

I must add that he's my friends ex. I'm not in contact with her anymore and that's another reason why I'm stopping myself. Probably should've mentioned it at the beginning 🥲

Is this bloke really worth upsetting both your uncle and your friend?

Quitelikeit · 09/02/2023 13:00

You forgot to mention initially that you fancied your friends boyfriend

hmmm

Original poster
maybabymama · 09/02/2023 13:06

@Quitelikeit I know how it sounds. I met him first and met his ex through him. It's a messy one that's why I didn't go into much detail. I'm not in contact with her

OP posts:
Original poster
maybabymama · 09/02/2023 14:39

@Swimawayyy so I found his old number and messaged him but he didn't reply. Asked my uncle about it and he said that it is his old number and that he's been spending time with his new lady. So I've left it. But honestly he's on my mind a lot I need to find something better to do I guess 😆

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 09/02/2023 14:48

Yeah OP it all sounds a bit messy.

Swimawayyy · 09/02/2023 15:03

He would be on your mind whether you’d reached out or not. At least now you haven’t got to deal with “but what if” - you’ve tried. Well done you!
life is short….
if it’s meant to be it will happen, maybe further down the line.
In the meantime you can keep your mind open to meeting someone else. Good luck to you!!

FenghuangHoyan · 09/02/2023 15:07

As others have said, reach out (as you have) and reach out some more. I didn't once and years later found out that my "uncle" had received letters from this person and that they'd wanted to get back with me, but I never knew as my "uncle" figured I was happy in my relationship and wouldn't want to know. He was very wrong.

Original poster
maybabymama · 09/02/2023 15:32

@FenghuangHoyan I wanted to get his new number but isn't it a bit too much? My uncle said he will mention to him that I tried reaching out if he sees that there's nothing serious with the girl.

OP posts:
Original poster
maybabymama · 09/02/2023 15:55

@Swimawayyy thank you!

OP posts:
Original poster
maybabymama · 10/02/2023 08:01

@YetMoreNewBeginnings i don't feel like I would be upsetting my uncle tbh. I asked him yesterday what if it was my friend and he said oh that's different Grin so he would be ready to date my friend because it's "different" but for some reason when it comes to me it's a problem. No thanks Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
maybabymama · 10/02/2023 21:06
Hmm
OP posts: