Messages for the single women who are looking...

[PositiveIntelligence]

Ladies

Some of your posts break my heart.

Not because guys are letting you down but because you are letting yourselves down.

Are we that desperate that we text and text and cry and text?

We ask, we beg, we over analyse, we make excuses, we overlook bad treatment...

We hold on, grasp, cling and find toxic reasons for not letting go...

We hope things will change, we change in hopes he will come back, give us more...chasing an imaginary relationship.

Or we rage in anger because he didn’t call.

Please sisters, I have been there, I speak from the inside, let us have some self respect. Some self love, some self appreciation. Some confidence.

He is just a human. He is flawed.
He isn’t going to save you.
He isn’t going to change your life.
He isn't going to change for you.
And if you need him to change, he is not the one for you anyway.

What is yours can't be taken away from you.

If he wants to stay, he will.
If he wants to go, open the door.

If it’s not easy, thank you, NEXT!

You deserve more and you can give yourself more when you stop wanting to give to him who doesn't want and doesn't deserve from you anyway.

Okay sisters 🙌🏻

I will confess

I saw similar post on FB and wrote something similar - because it does rememind me of threads here
Wanted to direct it to the single ladies who are struggling with their self esteem and choosing to stay with men who are unavailable to them because I have been that girl - before, after and between my 2 marriages and divorces.

Now thaf I’m on the other side of that insecurity, it does make me sad seeing women confused and settling for less than what they deserve - I wish no women had to go through this.

I didn’t speak of married women because I know how their situation is much more complicated.

I’m not a coach, I don’t have a business and I’m pretty happy with my job 🙌🏻

Also not related to the programme associated with my username - but off I go to change it now and start fresh on another thread at some point.

It still shocks me how there is so much unnecessary negativity in MN sometimes though

That's what I thought too, OP sounds like a preacher or something.

👍🏻👏🏻👋🏻

It still shocks me how there is so much unnecessary negativity in MN sometimes though

Probably because your post sounded like you were talking to teenagers or very young women with a tone of 'girl, I know you're suffering right now but I'm here to pass on my wisdom and tell you a lot of things you probably haven't realised.' A lot of us have been there, ticked it off, have done the work on our self-esteem and have the diploma.

And frankly, MN isn't exactly short of women able and willing to give out hard practical advice, not just the FB-style 'wisdom.'

Sorry if that's unnecessarily negative.

Calling us 'sisters' isn't helping OP, nor using emojis when you slated someone else for using them...

Speak for yourself sunshine. I don't do any of this crap and don't know anyone who does.

And I'm not your fucking 'sister'. Please don't presume on an intimacy that does not exist, and is never likely to.

Very aggressive !
you don’t like the post ? Ignore it

jesus

Wt actual eff have I just read?

Why are people so angry at this simple post. Literally just ignore or hide the thread. This would have been valuable to hear when I was several years younger.

So what if it was delivered fb style? Or you don't think its relevant to you? Comes across a bit snobbish when there's nothing wrong with the message.

Why are people so angry at this simple post. Literally just ignore or hide the thread. This would have been valuable to hear when I was several years younger

There are probably thousands of websites that will tell you all this. Thousands. That's before all the books that will tell you all this, and all the posts on MN that will tell you all this. It's not exactly a stunning insight that no-one has come up with before, is it?

What's really depressing is that the OP is right about so many women needing to be told things like this in the first place.

Because it's twee, condescending nonsense.

Because it's twee, condescending nonsense

That too.

I don’t think her intentions were malicious

let it go

She didn’t say all, in fact she even went to the effort to say some.

Good for!

Sadly, of the Relationships forum and some AIBU threads are anything to go by, it's a serious issue.

Well I disagree. Friendly advice from someone who's been through the same is not condescending. You just don't like the writing style and emojis

I actually needed to read that. Just as a reminder. Exactly tonight, am in a bit of a low spot. Just resolved to never sleep with anyone until I am their girlfriend, this FWB stuff is not who I am. So thank you @PositiveIntelligence. You helped one person.

Well I disagree

It's a free country, do what you like. I do agree it might have been good advice had it been written differently.