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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Ex won't move out

64 replies

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 11:42

Hi I'm new here, I was with my ex 3 years and he moved in 2 years ago, he then moved his 10 year old child in permanently and has me do his childcare i have 2 kids of my own. I broke up with him about 3 months ago because the relationship was unhappy and toxic and I just felt more of a babysitter than anything else. the house is completely mine but he won't move out and feel bad kicking a 10 year old out so I don't know what to do .

OP posts:

Ihatethenewlook · 06/02/2023 14:19

I don’t think giving him 3 weeks is doing either of you any favours. You KNOW he’s going to do literally nothing about sorting himself out accommodation in that time, he’s going to end up at his mothers whether that’s tomorrow or in 3 weeks. I can’t believe he’s still there after the childcare comment. It’s just another 3 weeks of a horrible atmosphere before you have to start once again with all the threats that he’ll ignore. He’s got an offer from his mum for somewhere to live, and you’ve got an offer off yours for her backbone. Let them all know he’ll be vacating your property one way or another by this weekend. Tell them this saturday your mum will either be there to escort him to his mum, you’ll be leaving his stuff outside/changing the locks when he’s out, or if he still tries to refuse then you’ll be calling the police.

Pinkbonbon · 06/02/2023 14:19

Level of entitlement in the guy is off the charts.
Change the locks tomorrow when he is out at work. Drop his stuff round his parents (or on your doorstep).

3 weeks? Lol. Wtf? Why should you have to give him more notice when hes known he's to leave for months?

Ps: also, you've told him about the locksmith now so he knows to be around that day to cause a scene and try convince the locksmith not to do it.

You've gotta get him out via the element of surprise.

youngmotherhubbard · 06/02/2023 14:24

Are you in direct contact with his parents, or have you just heard all these things via him?

If they're reasonable people, they might be able to facilitate you kicking him out in a way that doesn't upset the child - for example, collecting the child one day so they don't see the inevitable fighting as you boot your ex out with the help of your friends and family.

Original poster

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 14:25

Well I thought by giving him a deadline that he can get time to explain the situation to his child,and try make an effort to find a house in the area. I wrote the letter earlier for him to give to housing with a 3 week deadline on it

OP posts:

Original poster

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 14:26

Obviously if he doesn't find anywhere in the next 3 weeks he can go to his parents regardless of his child's schooling

OP posts:

Original poster

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 14:27

I don't have contact with his parents as he's told them alot of lies about me because I want him out. But i know they will take him and his child in as he lived with them before he met me

OP posts:

Quitelikeit · 06/02/2023 14:31

Actually now I also think you shouldn’t give it three weeks!!

id make it 7 days

FartSock5000 · 06/02/2023 15:57

Stick to your guns. You've given him reasonable notice so in exactly 3 weeks you change the locks and put his crap out.

I'd ring Social Services too as he has a responsibility to ensure his child has a home and stability and this is clearly not that.

Have a locksmith booked to come while the CockLodger is out or at work and if you can get the DC's grandparents number i'd also let them know so they can collect the wee fella and take him away so he doesn't have to witness the aftermath as these sorts of selfish gits will usually yell, shout or cry and make an erse of themselves.

NewStartNow · 06/02/2023 16:04

I think you've been more than reasonable at your own expense.
Point him in the direction of some local breakfast and afterschool clubs. He could continue to work full time then like millions of other people do (myself included). If he's not on a great wage hell possibly be entitled to some government help.
Dont let this cocklodger stay past the deadline. Good luck

Original poster

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 16:29

Thank you, I know I've helped him out too much it's time for him to take care of his own responsibilities

OP posts:

RuthTopp · 09/04/2023 08:48

@Anon232323

Hi your thread came back to me , hopefully he has gone now. How's it going ?

JMSA · 09/04/2023 08:51

Do you have any male friends or relatives who could kick him out for you?

JMSA · 09/04/2023 08:51

You really need to toughen up on this

JMSA · 09/04/2023 08:52

Oh, just noticed that it's not current.
I hope everything is ok and that you managed to get rid.

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