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Original poster

Ex won't move out

64 replies

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 11:42

Hi I'm new here, I was with my ex 3 years and he moved in 2 years ago, he then moved his 10 year old child in permanently and has me do his childcare i have 2 kids of my own. I broke up with him about 3 months ago because the relationship was unhappy and toxic and I just felt more of a babysitter than anything else. the house is completely mine but he won't move out and feel bad kicking a 10 year old out so I don't know what to do .

OP posts:
Cigarettesaftersex1 · 06/02/2023 12:45

I wouldn't be giving him 3 weeks, I'd be changing the locks now!

Original poster
Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 12:50

The child mother lost custody due to neglect so that's why he moved her into my house. His parents have told him to go back to live with them but he won't leave the area because he doesn't want to disrupt his child's schooling

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 06/02/2023 12:51

So sorry for your loss OP, this horrid situation must be making it feel worse. As other's have said, Make sure you have people around you when he goes. His child has grandparents to care for them. His other problems are no longer yours.

Original poster
Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 12:52

He is able to afford to move out in the area but is dragging his feet because of the responsibility of raising his child alone but I have told him repeatedly its not my problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 12:54

Around Christmas time he said he would willingly go as long as I carry on doing his childcare which obvs I refused as I want to move on with my life

OP posts:
billy1966 · 06/02/2023 12:55

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 06/02/2023 12:45

I wouldn't be giving him 3 weeks, I'd be changing the locks now!

3 weeks is ridiculous.

Tell him to be gone by next Saturday.

This awful man is not more important than your poor children that have gone through enough surely?

Get him out asap.
He can go to his parents.

Stop being used.
Stop allowing him to use your home, you and your children.
They have suffered enough.

Quitelikeit · 06/02/2023 13:00

You have been very kind and understanding however I am now pleased you have taken a stand.

You must book a locksmith for that date in 3 weeks time and show him the confirmation.

Book the morning off work so that you can drop his sons belongings off at his grandparents.

Also you could send him some links to local childminders so that he can see all is not lost.

Also send him the screenshot of your appointment confirmation with the locksmith.

It takes a good three years to get to know someone let this be a lesson

I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your child

Original poster
Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 13:05

Yes I agree it was rushed and too soon I was with my children's father 10 years so I should have known better lol

OP posts:
JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 06/02/2023 13:14

He said he’d only leave your house if you continued to do free childcare for him?

Where the fuck do these men crawl from?

Original poster
Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 13:21

Yes he wants me to do school run and be emerging contact help in half term ect so he can carry on working full time

OP posts:
DrMarciaFieldstone · 06/02/2023 13:25

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 13:21

Yes he wants me to do school run and be emerging contact help in half term ect so he can carry on working full time

Tell him where to go.

Christmaspyjamas · 06/02/2023 13:26

This is called slavery.

Original poster
Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 13:28

Oh I did I'm not that much of a mug, as soon as he's gone all contact will be cut

OP posts:
Grimchmas · 06/02/2023 13:29

What a horrible man.

Stay strong lady. Have a locksmith booked to change the locks the very first opportunity when the kid will be at school and he at work. Don't tell him you are doing this. Do tell friends and family if you think you will need support.

Original poster
Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 13:30

Yes I plan to, I'm not scared, he's never been physically abusive uts more mind games and things like that so I'm not worried for myself or my children

OP posts:
Christmaspyjamas · 06/02/2023 13:35

You're so strong and determined. You're going to be fine.

Sadly he will probably find some mug to take him in....but it won't be you!

DontStopMeNow7 · 06/02/2023 13:36

He’s had plenty of warning so you’ve already been fair. He won’t be homeless because he can move in with his parents whilst he looks for somewhere to live, which he can also totally afford.

You’ve given him 3 weeks notice. Make sure you’re clear that you’ll no longer be doing childcare from now on. He’ll be gone before the 3 weeks is up if you put a stop to that. It might be better to change the locks whilst he’s out and if you really can’t get out of the school run, collect her from school and drop her off at the grandparents. Pick your best option but don’t just leave things expecting him to go.

illtakeit · 06/02/2023 13:41

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 12:54

Around Christmas time he said he would willingly go as long as I carry on doing his childcare which obvs I refused as I want to move on with my life

I can't believe the audacity of that man!

Reugny · 06/02/2023 13:48

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 12:50

The child mother lost custody due to neglect so that's why he moved her into my house. His parents have told him to go back to live with them but he won't leave the area because he doesn't want to disrupt his child's schooling

If you allow him to leave it for another year you will be disrupting his child's schooling.

Do the child a favour and kick him out today.

NewNameFor2023 · 06/02/2023 13:50

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 06/02/2023 12:45

I wouldn't be giving him 3 weeks, I'd be changing the locks now!

^This!

OldEvilOwl · 06/02/2023 14:03

I'd tell him to be out by the weekend. Why are you giving him 3 weeks? He is taking the piss

bluebell34567 · 06/02/2023 14:08

he is looking for another single mum i suppose and havent found one yet.

Sealover123 · 06/02/2023 14:11

The very nerve of him!!!! His child should be his responsibility not yours. Once they are out, do not let him guilt trip you into doing anything for him! Zero contact and cut all ties, block him. Change the locks if he has a key?

RosaDeInvierno · 06/02/2023 14:11

Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 13:21

Yes he wants me to do school run and be emerging contact help in half term ect so he can carry on working full time

"that doesnt work for me"
"you should move out to your parents.... this week!"

Original poster
Anon232323 · 06/02/2023 14:17

He just keeps saying he can make the relationship work even though I keep telling him I don't want too,

OP posts:
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